artsygirl Posted October 19, 2016 Share Posted October 19, 2016 My ex (fwb) and I reconnected over the summer and when I say 'reconnected' I mean it as in I saw him at the same events/parties as we party with the same group of people. We had blocked each other because whatever our 'relationship' was was becoming too toxic and unhealthy. He has begun a new relationship and for this I am happy for him, I have no intentions of ever coming between that. I have met better people who I would rather spend my time with. His morals however are so wrong especially when it comes to me and his new girlfriend. Basically when I saw him over the summer (I saw him 4-5 times due to us attending the same social events), every time he would say something to me that would be classed as inappropriate now that he's in a relationship. He tells me he would still very much like to do whatever with me, will ask me personal questions about my sex life (new people in it or my own sexual habits), appears constantly sexually frustrated around me and just attempts to mess with my head. I obviously do not give in to any of his talks of how much he wishes he could rekindle things with me (he says he wishes he could but he can't because of his new relationship) as I don't want to be anyone's 'other woman' or come between anyone's relationship, however I think all of these inappropriate questions and comments are unecessary and unwanted. I acknowledge with him every time he says that that we can't, I don't encourage it, it's just I can't stand it that he's saying these things to me and then making out that I'm the one in the wrong to her and that it's me always making advances to him. Our 'relationship' was very passionate but now it is done and I don't wish to rekindle it. A friend told me I should message this girl and tell her everything (I'm really not going to do that as it'll make me look like a jealous psycho who wants to break them up and that's the last thing I want), but it's so inappropriate and makes me feel bad for her in essence because she's the one who could get hurt at the end and she seems like a nice person. I don't want to rekindle anything with this guy but I hate the way he twists things to his advantage. I've asked friends for advice but I would also like impartial opinions? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatwasThen Posted October 19, 2016 Share Posted October 19, 2016 Stop talking to him. Simply say, upon the first inappropriate comment, "I'm not interested in discussion the past or anything about you and me." And then leave the area. He'll soon get the hint. P.S. Your "friend's" proposal is inappropriate. His girlfriend and his relationship isn't your concern so I'm surprised she would advise you in that manner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
artsygirl Posted October 19, 2016 Author Share Posted October 19, 2016 Thanks ThatwasThen, I would never go to those extremes anyway, it's childish to do something like that. I'm not currently in contact with him super recently, it's just difficult during the holidays because we have the same friends Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nutbrownhare Posted October 19, 2016 Share Posted October 19, 2016 He sounds a total jerk. As ThatwasThen says, don't engage in any conversations with him. Also don't get involved with his new relationship; she'll find out about him soon enough, and she'd be very unlikely to believe you in any case. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted October 19, 2016 Share Posted October 19, 2016 In addition to blocking him and going no contact, it would be best to avoid him and not engage in conversation. You know he's a horny jerk so why even hang around him at social events? It's not your place to manage his relationships or moral compass. Your friends advice is horrible and makes you sound jealous and like you are looking for drama.We had blocked each other because whatever our 'relationship' was was becoming too toxic and unhealthy. I saw him 4-5 times due to us attending the same social events Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
artsygirl Posted October 19, 2016 Author Share Posted October 19, 2016 Thank you nutbrownhare and Wiseman2. I don't necessarily 'hang around' him, there are plenty of other people who I spend my time with and we will have a brief catch up. It's within these brief catch ups that he says something I would deem inappropriate, but I'm not trailing around him the entire night Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reinventmyself Posted October 19, 2016 Share Posted October 19, 2016 Tell him if he brings up an inappropriate subject with you again, you'll feel inclined to share it with his gf. That'll shut him up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gary Snyder Posted October 20, 2016 Share Posted October 20, 2016 Of course fwb has no morals - that's what fwb means. You reap what you sow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DancingFool Posted October 20, 2016 Share Posted October 20, 2016 You will need to go down to his level and speak to him in a language he actually understands. Namely next time he makes an inappropriate comment to you, pull him aside and tell him that he has no skills in bed, his teeeeny weeeenny could never satisfy you, you faked everything in the past and you never care to repeat that nightmare. Look at him with utter pity and disgust, excuse yourself and walk away before he has a chance to open his mouth. He'll never bother you again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JaggerJim Posted October 20, 2016 Share Posted October 20, 2016 Next time just make a scene. Call him out in front of everybody. Best way for the g/friend to find out. You don't have to remain cool and calm, tell him off in public. Your being too nice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatwasThen Posted October 20, 2016 Share Posted October 20, 2016 Your being too nice.Me thinks she enjoys the attention! *Winks and waits for defensive comeback* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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