Mmmenth Posted October 17, 2016 Share Posted October 17, 2016 I'll give you a little back story before I get into everything. My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 6 months. He overcame a drug addiction after I had broken up with him once before. When we were together before, I had $100 in my wallet to pay my utilities for that month. That night he wakes me up at about 2am saying there was a black man in the apartment with my wallet in his hands. He apparently took all my cash, left the credit cards and everything and even left my wallet behind. There was change all over the floor. I call the police, make a report, nothing comes of it. This was before I broke up with him. While he and I are not together, he seeks help for a drug addiction I didn't know he had, goes to counseling for other issues and finds a job. He sends me multiple texts and Facebook messages of how much he loves me and everything. I break down and say I want to be with him again. So we get back together. Also, I have a car, he doesn't so he is relying all the time on being able to use my car for everything. I also have a residual brain tumor, have headaches, sometimes sleep a lot and I have help that comes every day. He basically lives with me. He just kinda showed up with some clothes and basically never left. He has helped pay utilities here twice in the 4 months he's lived here. He's always asking to use my car to go 1/2 mile down the road and I ask why can't he walk so I can have my car if I need it? He says why should he walk if he puts gas in the car. Right now, he's not working again. He got fired from his job about 2 months ago. He says he's looking for another job but all I see him doing is sleeping and asking for my car. He gets gas for it by taking friends places and charging them for gas. Now, i asked him to go to the store about a week ago with my bank card. I live on a very limited income and am disabled. Surprise, surprise: there's a $20 cash back I see in my account actions. He swears it was a mistake and that he never got the money. I think he took it from me. I've asked him several times to leave but, he won't. He says, 'we're not breaking up'. I don't know what else to do. He's not on the lease or anything and he won't leave my place even though I've asked politely for him to go. He swears on his family's lives that he's never taken money from me. I just don't know... Link to comment
SkellyWoozle Posted October 17, 2016 Share Posted October 17, 2016 He's lying. He's a drug addict and a liar. He steals from you and I wouldn't be surprised if he's stolen things you've not even noticed and sold them too. He takes your car because he's either off to score or deal in drugs. You need to hoof this loser out and get rid. He will not change and if he does then it will only be if he chooses to. At the moment he's got an easy life - sponging off you, borrowing your car to fund his habit and live the life of Riley. Do yourself a very big favour and get rid. Nothing will change. He's a thief and a liar and he will say ANYTHING to get what he wants. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted October 17, 2016 Share Posted October 17, 2016 Do you both do drugs together? It's unclear why you are with an addict who steals from you and uses you. Why are you letting him use your car and continue to steal from you? If this is a sincere post, you know what to do and that is evict him and change the locks. He apparently took all my cash. I call the police. I have a car, he doesn't so he is relying all the time on being able to use my car for everything.He basically lives with me. He just kinda showed up with some clothes and basically never left. he's not working again. I've asked him several times to leave but, he won't. He's not on the lease or anything and he won't leave my place even though I've asked politely for him to go. Link to comment
jjkk Posted October 17, 2016 Share Posted October 17, 2016 He's not on the lease so get the landlord and police involved to get him out. He has no claim to your apartment...NONE. Of course he doesn't want to break up. He has free access to a car, no bills or rent to pay and an easy way to get some free money. He has the good life right now. This is SO WRONG!! Call the landlord and get their back up to get him out of there ASAP, then block, delete and never talk to this loser again. Hugs!! Link to comment
Mmmenth Posted October 17, 2016 Author Share Posted October 17, 2016 Thanks, i just wish he'd go when I tell him it's over and I don't want this anymore. Link to comment
Mmmenth Posted October 17, 2016 Author Share Posted October 17, 2016 No I do not do drugs. I don't know how addicts act because I've never been in that situation before. I didn't even know he was an addict the first time we broke up. Link to comment
DancingFool Posted October 17, 2016 Share Posted October 17, 2016 You know perfectly well what your bank records are showing. They aren't lying, he is. The car thing, honestly just tell him NO. So what if he puts gas in it? There is wear and tear and there is also the possibility he can get into an accident. Who is going to pay for the damage since he is presumably not insured and even being insured, insurance doesn't cover everything. You will be on the hook for that. Since he is not going into work, there is no earthly reason for him to even set foot inside your car. Learn to say NO and get your keys out of his reach. Same thing with him living there. What do you mean he just showed up and stayed? How did you not tell him to leave after a day or two max and that's being kind. I would have told him to leave in an hour or two. He is getting away with what he is getting away with purely because you are actively letting him. Learn how to say NO. Link to comment
SkellyWoozle Posted October 17, 2016 Share Posted October 17, 2016 Like all addicts, they're sneaky. I had a very good friend who I discovered after months of sharing a house together was a heroin addict. Upset me so much.... but that's the nature of the beast. You have to be strong - throw him out and if he won't go call the police and change the locks X Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted October 17, 2016 Share Posted October 17, 2016 Stop wishing and contact some friends and family to evict him throw his stuff out and change the locks. Yes yo do know how addicts act because you posted that he repeatedly steals, lies to you and used you to support him, uses you for your car and as a crack house to crash at.. Thanks, i just wish he'd go when I tell him it's over and I don't want this anymore. Link to comment
j.man Posted October 17, 2016 Share Posted October 17, 2016 You've unfortunately gotten into bed with a full-tilt addict. How long has he been living with you? Depending on state laws, he may be entitled to a formal eviction notice regardless of his standing on the lease, or lack thereof. Most people aren't aware of that and would leave when demanded to, but I'm concerned that if this guy is as exploitative as he is, he'll do the quick google search to find out how to milk the cow for all it's worth. If he won't leave, it's time to get your landlord involved. It could and likely will hurt your standing, but it beats the alternative. Link to comment
Mmmenth Posted October 17, 2016 Author Share Posted October 17, 2016 Stop wishing and contact some friends and family to evict him throw his stuff out and change the locks. Yes yo do know how addicts act because you posted that he repeatedly steals, lies to you and used you to support him, uses you for your car and as a crack house to crash at.. Good points, thank you. I will be contacting my folks to come over and at least be witnesses to what he will be saying and/or doing. You're all right. I let myself get into this situation and it's time to put on my big girl panties and get it over with. He's sneaky and knows how to push my buttons so, I'll need at least one of my parents for back-up. I'll let you know how it goes today. Link to comment
Mmmenth Posted October 17, 2016 Author Share Posted October 17, 2016 So, I just went a round with him He asked to use my car to go get his mom something to eat because her blood sugar crashed. I told him no because I have things to do today. He started screaming at me, cursed at me and called me heartless. Then, he left with my car key anyway. He sleeps with the house key and apparently my car key now. He texted me saying I owed him $250 for an inspection sticker on the car that he paid for and gas. I said he owes me half the car insurance for the last 6 months, and utilities that I paid for the time he's been staying here. He said to call the cops, that he doesn't care. He's said this before when he's wanted the car or is using it and then says he has friends that can plant pot in my car and say it's mine. Ughhhh... Link to comment
j.man Posted October 17, 2016 Share Posted October 17, 2016 I would call the police and report the car stolen. I'm not a lawyer, but constructive possession almost always depends on you knowingly permitting illegal materials into your vehicle. Obviously that wouldn't be the case here. Again, it's not legal advice. It's simply what I'd do. Link to comment
Mmmenth Posted October 17, 2016 Author Share Posted October 17, 2016 Ok, thank you J.man Link to comment
Iggy5129 Posted October 17, 2016 Share Posted October 17, 2016 Yes just report the car stolen. He'll get pulled over hopefully with drugs in the car and then will be the justice systems problem not yours. Drug addicts will lie, steal and betray even their own mothers for drugs. I'm telling you this as the sister of a heroin addict. You can't help him, no one can. Getting him arrested is for his own good. Link to comment
Mmmenth Posted October 17, 2016 Author Share Posted October 17, 2016 Yes just report the car stolen. He'll get pulled over hopefully with drugs in the car and then will be the justice systems problem not yours. Drug addicts will lie, steal and betray even their own mothers for drugs. I'm telling you this as the sister of a heroin addict. You can't help him, no one can. Getting him arrested is for his own good. Ok, thank you. Do I need to know where the car is?? I have no idea where he is with my car. Link to comment
j.man Posted October 17, 2016 Share Posted October 17, 2016 Ok, thank you. Do I need to know where the car is?? I have no idea where he is with my car.I'd be willing to guess that most people who report their cars stolen don't know where it is. Link to comment
Iggy5129 Posted October 17, 2016 Share Posted October 17, 2016 Ok, thank you. Do I need to know where the car is?? I have no idea where he is with my car. No you just give them the info about make, model, color, etc and the license number. They will put an alert out and any police that see the car will pull him over. Maybe invite a friend or family member over in case he comes back. Have them help you get his stuff out and get the keys back from him. Then tell your landlord you need to change your locks. Stay strong. I know it's hard because you do care about this guy. Just remember it's tough love and for his own good. I had to cut my own brother out of my life because of stuff like this. He won't change if you keep enabling him. You can do this! Link to comment
Mmmenth Posted October 17, 2016 Author Share Posted October 17, 2016 Thanks! Sorry, I know some of my questions sound stupid but, it's my brain lol. Surgery from the tumor has affected a lot so, I sound stupid a lot. I just packed up his stuff so he can get it out and give me back my keys. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted October 17, 2016 Share Posted October 17, 2016 Excellent idea, except if you do drugs too. Not sure why you are putting up with this or maybe I'm mistaken, but this is a hoax thread. It's so outrageous and obvious what the answers are. Don't just get the keys back, change the locks call any friends and family you have and trust and get a restraining order. Letting him use your vehicle for obvious drug runs could result in YOU getting arrested.He said to call the cops, that he doesn't care. Link to comment
Mmmenth Posted October 17, 2016 Author Share Posted October 17, 2016 Excellent idea, except if you do drugs too. Not sure why you are putting up with this or maybe I'm mistaken, but this is a hoax thread. It's so outrageous and obvious what the answers are. Don't just get the keys back, change the locks call any friends and family you have and trust and get a restraining order. Letting him use your vehicle for obvious drug runs could result in YOU getting arrested. I'm sorry if this sounds like a bogus thread but it's not. The issue I'm having is that he threatens to plant stuff either in my car or in my apartment and then call the cops on me. I don't know what else to do besides calling the police. I'm sorry if I'm too stupid for it to be so obvious to you wiseman2. I trusted him and that's my problem, I get it. I was just asking for advice. To those of you that offered advice: I thank you and again: NO, I DO NOT DO DRUGS. Link to comment
Iggy5129 Posted October 17, 2016 Share Posted October 17, 2016 Ok good luck with everything. I hope it goes down with little drama. His threats are just that, threats to keep you enabling him. You can also call the police to come over and help you get him out. They will make sure everything goes smoothly. You could possibly file for a restraining order as well to keep him gone. Or you can also call a domestic abuse hotline and I'm sure they would have good advice on how to get rid of him and protect yourself. Stay safe. Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted October 17, 2016 Share Posted October 17, 2016 Phone the police now and ask for help. This man is a disturbed drug addict and you don't know what he is capable of. He's mad because his free car and house are being taken away, and I guarantee you that your car is being used in drug deals. You do not want something to go wrong there and have unsavory characters find out where he lives (ie, at your house) and come there to settle some score. Get him out. Immediately. Cancel your ATM card and get a new one so he cannot access your account. Change your locks. Change your number. You are in a very risky situation and need to take every precaution you can. Link to comment
SkellyWoozle Posted October 17, 2016 Share Posted October 17, 2016 And please keep us posted.... If for no other reason than to let us know you're ok X Hugs X Link to comment
nutbrownhare Posted October 17, 2016 Share Posted October 17, 2016 Excellent idea, except if you do drugs too. Not sure why you are putting up with this or maybe I'm mistaken, but this is a hoax thread. It's so outrageous and obvious what the answers are. The OP has brain damage. Obviously depending on the nature and extent of the damage, it can cause real disturbances in logical processing and what may seem obvious to most people will not be to them. The OP is clearly very vulnerable. Link to comment
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