LDR breakup. on/off relationship..

[jmann45]

So there's this girl i met on a chatting website. We started chatting frequently, eventually we started skyping alot. her bf was in the military who she was dating for over 3 years now. she used to talk about how hes been acting weird.. ect ect. we talked every night on the phone after she was done talking to him she would call me. i didnt think anything of it at the time.. and just went along as friends/potential relationship. A year passed by... Long story short, her bf ended up cheating on her, and she started to like me even more after this. he had been cheating on her for the past 2 years apparently. We started talking even more and said i love you on the phone after about 1.5 years of knowing eachother. slept on the phone.. ect. eventually bought her tickets to come see me. She was happy. stayed here for 4 days, and on the 4th day, i asked her to be my gf. she declined and said that she was fresh out of a 4 year relationship and just couldnt.

 

This is where things speed up.... ill try to make it as short as possible. After this, i dropped her at the airport and told her that it was okay.. She gets back to her state. hits her bf back up. tells me about it. i get mad at her and stop talking to her. she calls me after about 3 weeks of nc. says that hes still cheating. i didnt say much. we started talking again..

 

Then this new guy came along, her exes best friend. she started talking to him more and more. i got mad and left again. She ended up going to visit this new guy and flew over to see him. They hooked up. this hurt me bad. Then she got back home, and hit me up again. &of course, i came back to her. she said that it didnt really work out with this new guy. Then she ended up going to another country for some school trip and hooked up with this new guy. she came back home and called me and told me that it didnt work out with him either.

 

At this point, i was basically done with her. It hurt me every time i had to hear this story about her hooking up with some guy, but i assumed it was her way of getting over her 4 year relationship. I stopped talking to her for a while after December of 2015. made a dating app. started dating other girls on there. told her to never hmu again bc i couldnt keep seeing her with other people. i had a gf from January to April. she hit me up in the beginning of april, and i texted her back.. she was surprised to hear i had a gf. and texted me excessively. eventually me and this girl broke up. and now.. im stuck again just talking to her.

 

We got very close after i broke up with this new girl. And once again.. she told me she had just made a dating app to try something new out. She kinda stopped talking to me again. and i told her that ima just let her do herself for a while. didnt call/text for about a month. and i called her a few nights ago and we had an excellent conversation and she wanted me to come visit her as soon as i can. and she misses me. but within this past month, she was dating this new guy, and ended up hooking up with him. and this hurt me but i didn't show her. she said he hit it and never texted her after that. and today its been 3-4 days and shes gradually lost interest in me again. I stopped talking to her again and have her blocked now.

 

 

Im appologize greatly for this long article. but my questions are..

=i see potential in her, and i see why shes hooking up with other guys.. (because im not there).. should i still stop talking to her?

=I honestly enjoy talking to her so much when shes actually interested in me. i dont know how to completely let her go.

=When i stop talking to her, she gets extremely angry and says that i either stay in her life, or leave her. and she claims that its okay to go a few days without talking to eachother.. which i disagree with. because i actually like this girl.

 

=i always end up texting/calling her back when she consistently calls and i dont answer. she always ends up making me talk to her some how.

 

--i lost my kissing/sex/every type of virginity to this girl. ive been with about 4 other girls after i met this one-- fyi

[Wolfshook]

So her and her bf both cheated on each other, then she went for you,she changed her mind and went for HIS FRIEND?

 

You have more drama than turkish tv show. She's obviously one of those drama people,that cant live without constant drama and you are one of those sleezy jody boys.... sorry if I'm harsh,but you need to learn that if a girl is taken - you back out.

[jmann45]

So her and her bf both cheated on each other, then she went for you,she changed her mind and went for HIS FRIEND?

 

You have more drama than turkish tv show. She's obviously one of those drama people,that cant live without constant drama and you are one of those sleezy jody boys.... sorry if I'm harsh,but you need to learn that if a girl is taken - you back out.

 

When i met her, it was a chatting website. i had no other intentions than to just be friends. after she found out her bf was cheating on her is when she started venting to me and she and i became intimate.

[boltnrun]

I kind of lost count how many girls you've been involved with over the past few months. One thing I do remember is there is an extreme amount of drama with every single one of them.

 

I conclude you find all this drama tremendously exciting.

 

If you do love drama, you absolutely should continue "talking" to this girl when she's between hookups.

[jmann45]

I kind of lost count how many girls you've been involved with over the past few months. One thing I do remember is there is an extreme amount of drama with every single one of them.

 

I conclude you find all this drama tremendously exciting.

 

If you do love drama, you absolutely should continue "talking" to this girl when she's between hookups.

 

2. &okay thank you for the advice.

[Capricorn3]

I agree with the two posters above. Not much more one can add. It leaves once exhausted just reading all this drama, I don't know how you actually live it.

[boltnrun]

I counted two in July, one in May and this one. So, 4 in 3 months.

 

It's fine to date around when you're young. In fact, many would recommend it. But when every single situation is filled with drama, you might want to rethink your choices and motivations.

[SherrySher]

Oh wow!! Why on earth do you let this girl keep coming back? I seriously don't understand why you're getting out of this apart from the excitement and drama of it.

This isn't a nice girl, she doesn't have strong feelings for you...you are the rebound guy when she can't find anyone else.She will keep doing this to you. Do you not value yourself more than this??

I am seriously at a loss for words...when she came to see you the first time and didn't want to be your gf, you should have let it go then. But you took her back after she has been with one guy after another? This is beyond unhealthy.

[jmann45]

Oh wow!! Why on earth do you let this girl keep coming back? I seriously don't understand why you're getting out of this apart from the excitement and drama of it.

This isn't a nice girl, she doesn't have strong feelings for you...you are the rebound guy when she can't find anyone else.She will keep doing this to you. Do you not value yourself more than this??

I am seriously at a loss for words...when she came to see you the first time and didn't want to be your gf, you should have let it go then. But you took her back after she has been with one guy after another? This is beyond unhealthy.

 

I'm attached to her in that type of way. When she texts or calls me after I stop talking to her, she does it 4-5 times. Then if I don't answer, she says like, well ill leave you and if you need me I'll be here. I hope you have a wife and kids and live very happily. I just miss you... yada yada yada..

 

And I become weak and hit her back up, whether it be a few days or a couple weeks from that day. I need advice on how to completely leave her. I'm attached to her. She knows everything about me and more. She's been there for me when I'm not feeling good. And she continues to be there.. like I was for her. I just am tired of this and want to leave her but don't know how. That's what I want advice on.

[boltnrun]

I'm attached to her in that type of way. When she texts or calls me after I stop talking to her, she does it 4-5 times. Then if I don't answer, she says like, well ill leave you and if you need me I'll be here. I hope you have a wife and kids and live very happily. I just miss you... yada yada yada..

 

And I become weak and hit her back up, whether it be a few days or a couple weeks from that day. I need advice on how to completely leave her. I'm attached to her. She knows everything about me and more. She's been there for me when I'm not feeling good. And she continues to be there.. like I was for her. I just am tired of this and want to leave her but don't know how. That's what I want advice on.

 

Um, stop responding and block her?

[jmann45]

Um, stop responding and block her?

 

I just messaged her. saying that she plays dumb to her advantage. and that she holds me back from my full potential by putting me down. and that shes a liability right now. then i just said for her to not reply, text, or call me. and told her goodluck with whatever the hell shes doing in life...and said bye.

 

it hurt. but i did it. and it took 2 hours before i actually sent the message. i really honestly hope she doesnt call or text or anything. i blocked her from everything. but she has my email addresses. it feels so relieving.

[Chon]

Personally I think you should just focus on being single for a while.

 

These aren't quality relationships you are attracting for yourself - You're too caught up in trying to get into new relationships imo.

[jmann45]

Personally I think you should just focus on being single for a while.

 

These aren't quality relationships you are attracting for yourself - You're too caught up in trying to get into new relationships imo.

 

Thank you very much for the advice. I'm working on that now .

[MissCanuck]

You did the right thing by blocking you. She sounds very immature and attention-seeking, and she was clearly using you for attention when she wasn't getting it from other guys.

 

As others have said, stay single and focus on you for a while. Wait until a quality girl comes along.

[tigerkitty]

She sounds manipulative af. As soon as you pull away she yanks you back with her fake "I hope you get married and have kids and have a happy life", that's playing the victim, that's manipulating you and guilt tripping you for actually moving the on from her. That's her saying "boohoo you're leaving me I'm so sad and wounded" and you run back to her like she wants. Please stop. All I got from your opening post was "it hurt" after each time you said she hooked up with yet another guy that wasn't you. Why would you want to be with someone that hurts you so much? And she isn't doing it because you aren't there, she knows all she has to do is click her fingers and she could have you, she doesn't want you, please don't delude yourself into thinking she slept with other guys for any reason other than because she wanted to.

 

You have two options, continue this cycle of drama and emotional bull she's putting you through or cut contact FOR GOOD, that means actually doing it and going through with it, not giving in after a few days because your feelings can't handle it.

 

Why are you hoping she doesn't call or text if you've blocked her? Also, you can have any emails from her email address sent straight to your spam or junk folder.

[jmann45]

She sounds manipulative af. As soon as you pull away she yanks you back with her fake "I hope you get married and have kids and have a happy life", that's playing the victim, that's manipulating you and guilt tripping you for actually moving the on from her. That's her saying "boohoo you're leaving me I'm so sad and wounded" and you run back to her like she wants. Please stop. All I got from your opening post was "it hurt" after each time you said she hooked up with yet another guy that wasn't you. Why would you want to be with someone that hurts you so much? And she isn't doing it because you aren't there, she knows all she has to do is click her fingers and she could have you, she doesn't want you, please don't delude yourself into thinking she slept with other guys for any reason other than because she wanted to.

 

You have two options, continue this cycle of drama and emotional bull she's putting you through or cut contact FOR GOOD, that means actually doing it and going through with it, not giving in after a few days because your feelings can't handle it.

 

Why are you hoping she doesn't call or text if you've blocked her? Also, you can have any emails from her email address sent straight to your spam or junk folder.

 

Thank you for this. I did block her from almost everything I think. After I sent her the last message, she sent me one back and was very rude mentioning everything she knows I'm insecure about in my life / body. She basically said that I shouldn't even think about getting back with her until I fix those things about myself. I messaged her back calling her a crazy bi*** with laughing emojis. Telling her that she was immature to reply when I told her not to. And she messaged back of course.. I let her have the last words. But it's been about a month. I haven't heard from her. But I can't help but check her social media every now and then.. I'm slowly forgetting about her.

[jmann45]

I try my best to distract myself by doing other hobbies but during my accomplishm my of these new hobbies, my mind automatically starts to think "she'll be so jealous when she finds out I'm doing THIS or THAT." Aka learning how to play a new instrument, traveling, going on dates with other girls.. ect. Idk why. I can't help it. I don't know why I wanna PROVE myself to her. I really don't but it's unintentional.