Confusing date?

[Wolfshook]

Sorry for posting this much,but I'm pretty much out of dating and I habe trouble reading signs.

 

I got the balls to ask a girl from work out finally (about a week ago). It was just an "would you like to grab a coffee after work" kind of invitation. She happily agreed and proposed a place.

 

There are few things that bother me about it. But I need to provide some explanation in case it matters. So as we got there soon came one of her coworkers that started to talk to her and she told this coworker to sit with us.

 

What bothers me,is her behaviour. She didn't show much interest in my personal life but asked all kinds of stuff about my job, on the other hand she knew some things about me that I dont recall telling her (so she probably did some stalking). She needed my pen to sign something and said she really liked my pen (which is pretty usual pen lol) and if she could keep it, i gave it to her. I supposed this "date" didnt go well and I brushed it off.

 

Got to a work a few days later and she's there,running up to me saying hi and talking to me even more than usual.

 

Yesterday was probably my last time I'll be seeing her at her work, I'm going on 2 weeks vacation and when I get back my contract will last for another 2 weeks for which she will be on the vacation. So I was going home from her work and she asked me if I'm going on vacation and when I confirmed she returned with "but we'll see each other in a month? Wont we?". When I told her about my contract ending she acted kind of sad and said that it's too bad. But I got no invitation for coffee from her or anything similair.

 

I added her on fb 2 weeks ago,she accepted my request almost imediately (within 2 minutes),but there was no interaction there.

 

Should I try and ask her actually out in case I see her? Or is she just being super friendly and I should stay away from her? I'm pretty much confused since other girls I've been on dates with would either show some interest after the date (even when it was just a coffee thing) asking me out again, or they would clearly show no interest and would act pretty much as strangers so I'd get the picture that they are not interested in me.

 

This girl is just bugging me too much,but at least I stop thinking about my ex.

[Wiseman2]

She sounds kinds weird overall, but she seems into you.

She needed my pen to sign something and said she really liked my pen (which is pretty usual pen lol) and if she could keep it, i gave it to her

[ManyDates]

Ask her out again! You're the one with the penis.

[Blue Ridge]

If you're attracted to her and find her interesting, I'd ask her out again. A first date is awkward enough without unexpected company, I wouldn't sweat it too much.

[DancingFool]

Asking her to grab some coffee after work....is not really a date and can be construed as pretty much anything. She can't read your mind and your intentions.

 

Having said that, she seems to be very much interested in you and is waiting patiently for you to make some kind of a move and clarify your intentions. You seem to be waiting on her to chase you. Which means that you two will be waiting on each other forever unless you actually take the lead and talk to her and ask for a date making it clear it's an actual date. Basic social customs dictate that he with the penis should be doing the initial pursuing and date planning. So get onto it.

[shellyf62]

Asking her to grab some coffee after work....is not really a date and can be construed as pretty much anything. She can't read your mind and your intentions.

 

Having said that, she seems to be very much interested in you and is waiting patiently for you to make some kind of a move and clarify your intentions. You seem to be waiting on her to chase you. Which means that you two will be waiting on each other forever unless you actually take the lead and talk to her and ask for a date making it clear it's an actual date. Basic social customs dictate that he with the penis should be doing the initial pursuing and date planning. So get onto it.

 

Exactly !!!!!

Stop waiting for girls to chase you. It is very unattractive!!

[Sportster2005]

So I was going home from her work and she asked me if I'm going on vacation and when I confirmed she returned with "but we'll see each other in a month? Wont we?". When I told her about my contract ending she acted kind of sad and said that it's too bad. But I got no invitation for coffee from her or anything similair.

 

 

Seriously? She shows interest, and you still expect her to ask you out?

[rayfutz]

^^^ I agree with everyone above. She sounds into you. It was only coffee, but I have a feeling she knew it was more than a friendly thing. Ask her out again, what do you have to loose really? If you thought she acted weird or asked weird questions or didnt take enough interest to ask questions about your life, then consider that she was nervous. She doesn't know what questions to ask, what is a sensitive subject. If that is the case, just time to relax is the key. But yeah, I say ask her out again! And this time if you want it to be date-ish so both of you aren't confused, then make it more of a date.

[Gary Snyder]

She's into you. You say your contract is up in a few weeks...... does this mean you are just leaving the building or are you leaving town?

 

I'm going to say something that might surprise some. Sure she's into you, but that does not mean she's a top catch. Love is not everything. You were wondering why she did not ask you out. You are wise to think about this. The reason is because she is a higher maintenance woman than you are used to dealing with, she's waiting for you to do the work. It's nice to see a man who has standards for a change, one who's heart does not fall out of his chest just because a woman gave him a crumb.

 

The best catches are low maintenance.

[Zippy2000]

Youre doing it wrong. Dont ask her out for coffee. Thats what work colleagues do! She propbably thinks you are just being friendly.

 

Ask her out on a date and make it later in the evening in a bar with no distrctions.

[James516]

What isn't clear is if YOU are interested in her after having coffee. You must not be used to women being interested in you because most of your post is about her actions. Trying to interpret everything she does is a waste of time because no one can guess another person's intentions/motivations. So again, all that matters is if you are still interested in her enough to follow up. If you are, then be a guy and ask her out again when you both are back from vacations.

[Wolfshook]

Why I asked her for coffee only? It was at her workplace and there were her coworkers there so I didnt want to put her in bad position by proposing something more serious.

 

my contract ends and thats it, I will stay in the town but chances of meeting her are minimal due to her not really going clubbing.

 

I'd love to ask her out,I just wasnt sure enough whether this was her letting me down easely or is she interested in me. I'll try to come up with something that would work and not be completely creepy.

[Gary Snyder]

Just ask her for her phone number and then you can ask her out anytime.

[Wolfshook]

Well, she contacted me, we had short chat at which she said that she hopes I return quickly and that "it's so much nicer to see me walk into her workplace than the other guy". I asked her out properly this time,she said she will let me know when she is free (she works funny shift this week),fingers crossed it's not just an easy letdown...

[ally35]

Sounds to me like she was hinting for you to ask her out .. When she asked if the next time she would see you would be a month she was really hinting to the fact that she would like to see you before that!

[Wolfshook]

Sounds to me like she was hinting for you to ask her out .. When she asked if the next time she would see you would be a month she was really hinting to the fact that she would like to see you before that!

 

Well it doesnt seem to be true.

 

She still hasnt said anything about our date. So,it's a failure.