was recently dumped because he can't commit

[Hazel2345]

So, i was dating a guy for just under a year before he dumped me because "he couldn't commit".

 

We lived further away from each other but the plan was for me to move down to his city, so, i took on an extra job, started saving etc...he did nothing to help, except take out more debt

 

He would always accuse me of not showing him love enough, i had to double check every message i sent to him, i was paranoid that he would dump me because he was always threatening it(over nothing) and he would go in moods all the time over the stupidest things. One time i told him i wanted some space to do my art(that i never get a chance to do and that i have a degree in) and he told me to go f*ck myself and said that i'm sh*t at using my time..

 

I've now been single for a few weeks and i'm really enjoying it. My anxiety has cleared up big time, i feel quite relaxed, i have more money, i'm eating better and my plan is to spend time working out to lose the last of my weight, to be much healthier and to do my art(finally)

 

However, i started speaking to a guy from a dating site who is really nice, that i quite like, we have a date planned but i just want to run because the thought of having to commit my time to someone else again is terrifying. At the same time, i don't want to miss out on this being a potentially great match...

 

What do i do in this situation? I feel like i can't juggle another potential relationship and focus on myself..i could certainly try but i want time to physically and mentally heal myself

 

any suggestions?

[SherrySher]

The last line in your messages says it all...."you feel like you can't juggle another potential relationship and focus on yourself"..and you're right for still wanting time to physically and mentally heal. Your last boyfriend sounded very controlling and abusive. You just got over all the enormous anxiety and pressure from it all.

It really is up to you, but having more time to yourself to feel confident and strong and back on your feet is not wrong. And to be honest, until you get to that point, anything less is not a good way to enter into a new relationship.

You've only been single a few weeks?? that doesn't seem a long time at all.

[Gloworm]

So glad you got rid of the first guy! I hope youll give the new nice guy a fair chance. I like art as well.

[Heather Dawn]

Nothing wrong with taking some time to regroup and be single for awhile. I'd keep doing that, and maybe get off dating sites for a bit.

[Wiseman2]

Why not just date and see how it goes. Not all guys are abusive, possessive jerks.

he told me to go f*ck myself and said that i'm sh*t at using my time.. we have a date planned but i just want to run because the thought of having to commit my time to someone else again is terrifying.

[Gary Snyder]

It was an excuse. Don't feel bad....... real life is not like the movies..... most LDR's don't work out. It's hard for someone to love you when you rarely see them.

[SooSad33]

Possibly you're NOT ready to date again? Then dont go there.

 

another thing about these dating sites.. do be careful. MANY are on for one thing and won't think of 'commitmment' ayways and so often they'll meet you and plan a date with someone new a few days later.

 

There is NO guarentee this is the one...