Ex doesn't want to let go even though he dumped me.

[Sarahjb]

My ex broke up with me because he said he started to feel different towards me. I asked him how long he was feeling like this and he said for about two weeks. A month before we broke up he said I was the best thing to ever happen him and that he never felt this way for anyone before. So how could that all change in the space of two weeks?

 

Surely if he started feeling like that he could have waited it out for awhile to see if it's how he really felt? I just don't understand how this could all change in two weeks. Especially because in that two weeks we only met up once so he lost feelings over text messages? That makes no sense to me. I noticed we were being a little off with each other. Not as talkative and stuff but that's because I was extremely busy with work I didn't have the time to shower him with love and attention and it's enough to make him feel different?

 

As he was breaking up with me he sugar coated it by telling me lots of great things about me and saying he doesn't even know if it's what he wants and that he thinks he might regret it. But he just doesn't feel ready for a relationship right now. (A month before he said he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me).

 

He practically begged me to stay friends saying he can't lose me and I'm important to him. I tried to be friends for awhile. He would become jealous when I talk about other guys and get moody. He texts me all the time which I find strange. He blocked me on Facebook and he said it's because he couldn't stop looking at my page every few minutes. He unfollowed me on instagram but still checks my page everyday and likes all my pictures . He told me if I ever get a new boyfriend I better block him from everything because he doesn't want to see that. If I put up a new picture on instagram he messages me and tells me I look beautiful. When I seen him in person at a friends party ge tried to kissed me. Somtimes he would send me old pictures of me and him together. I'm just really confused. He said he was immature and messed up a good thing for no reason and he told me that a part of him still loves me and he thinksaid about me everyday. But said he doesn't want to hurt me again . Opinions on this? What should I do? I really love him and I know the right thing is probably to cut all contact but it really hurts

[melancholy123]

He said he was immature and messed up and I agree with him. he doesnt seem to know what he wants. How old are you two? My guess is pretty young. If you want him to leave you alone, block him everywhere so he can't contact you. He needs to figure himself out.

[dave_1966]

'He told me if I ever get a new boyfriend I better block him from everything because he doesn't want to see that'

 

This is very controlling of him, basically keeping you in line in case whatever he's up to doesn't work out. I'd grant him his wish a little earlier than he planned by blocking him right now, on everything, forever. Only then will you be able to descramble the mess he's making in your head and move on with your life.

[Sarahjb]

He said he was immature and messed up and I agree with him. he doesnt seem to know what he wants. How old are you two? My guess is pretty young. If you want him to leave you alone, block him everywhere so he can't contact you. He needs to figure himself out.

 

I'm 21 and he's 25

[Wiseman2]

Do you want an on/off relationship with him? It sounds like he doesn't want to burn any bridges in case you're up for hook-ups. But believe him when he said he doesn't want a relationship. If he did, you two would still be in one.

But he just doesn't feel ready for a relationship right now. When I seen him in person at a friends party ge tried to kissed me.

[Sarahjb]

Well I think he's stuck in two minds but obviously that's not good enough I need someone who is certain that they want to be with me but it just really hurts because I just don't know how this happened out of nowhere

[Wiseman2]

You messaged him for closure, so he responded made some polite chit-chat, but he still has a gf.

I just don't know how this happened out of nowhere

[Sarahjb]

You messaged him for closure, so he responded made some polite chit-chat, but he still has a gf.

 

I didn't message him he messages me? And he doesn't have a gf

[Wiseman2]

Then definitely block him and go no contact.

I didn't message him he messages me? And he doesn't have a gf

[dto811]

Sounds exactly like my ex. She has said the same things and it's really confused me as well. I'm still trying to get my head straight because it doesn't make sense to me either.

 

Best thing you can do is try not to make sense of it imo...

[dto811]

For what it's worth.. Everytime I would distance myself she would try to draw me back in. When she did she would push me away again. Hopeful you don't have to go through the same silly game...

[DancingFool]

It's only confusing because you are hoping he'll change his mind and come running back for you. The thing is that he dumped you and meant it. The rest is just garbage and noise. Someone who genuinely wants to be with you and thinks you are the best thing that ever happened to them will not dump you and play games. It's really that simple.

 

Spare yourself from all the back and forth nonsense and just block him from everything and move on. It will be hard at first, but I promise you that you'll thank yourself for that sooner rather than later.

 

As for him telling you that he just couldn't handle you being with someone else....wth....could have sworn we have moved past the whole men own women like some thing...... Yuck, just yuck. When someone shows you that kind of an attitude, it's not flattery, it should turn your stomach.

[ParisPaulette]

It doesn't matter what he does or does not want to do. It's actually your responsibility to then say, "If you dumped me then it's on you to get over it. I am." Then block and delete him and don't look back or respond.

 

He wants to keep you as an option until he finds someone else at which point and time he will drop you with a resounding thud.

 

If he truly wanted you he wouldn't have broken up with you. He just wants the comfort and an emotional crutch while he eases himself back into being single is all.

 

Either be totally cool with being his backup until he meets someone else or choose to end things regardless of what he says or doesn't. You don't actually need an ex's blessing to go No Contact. You tell them or don't that you are and then you do that and never respond to them again.

[E98]

It seems it's nothing but a headache keeping in such contact with him right now. Give him 2 options; make up his mind or move on. If you did end up getting back together, however, his head would probably be all over the place. Take that into consideration.

[regretgirl]

I would go no contact!!! Talking to him all the time just makes it easier for him to slowly detach himself emotionally from you while stringing you along.

 

I would send him a message something like this:

"While I have no bad feelings towards you I'm not really comfortable with our level of communication. I hope you find what you're looking for and maybe we can be friends sometime down the line. Take care then stop ALL contact until you've both healed completely. Maybe years?

 

If he wants to be with you seriously, this will make him snap into reality and stop playing these silly games with you. If he still waffles about, you know he's just not serious about you. All the best.