Worried my boyfriend likes guys

[pineapple9090]

My boyfriend and I have been together for a year, long distance relationship and we are 22 and he's 25 years old..

I still can't get over my fears he might be gay for some reason

 

Like yesterday my boyfriend said, when we were watching soccer and I asked him who fouled the other player and he said: the one with the blue eyes..

 

And ok, I was just wondering why he would notice something like that. I'd never notice him because he had blue eyes or so..

Don't you think it's a little bit.. unusual for a guy to say something like this?

Also he talks a lot about other guys.. never about girls. And when I asked him he said that he doesn't care about other girls because he has me and he looks at other guys because he's observing and that you can learn a lot from looking at people..

 

Do you do this too?

[LoveSoDeep]

Lot's of people are observant like he is.

 

he said 'The one with blue eyes" not "the super sexy guy with blue eyes! His eyes are so beautiful." If he was gushing over other men, then maybe I'd give it a second thought. From what you are saying there's really nothing that might say he's attracted to men.

 

You are reading way too much into this one comment and that makes me wonder why? Why are you so insecure about this? maybe that's what you should be putting your effort into figuring out.

[katey27]

Well that's not as gay as my boyfriend offering his male friend a dutch rudder (google that i can't even explain...) and i was sitting there just hoping that it was a joke... so inappropriate but hopefully a joke otherwise... I'm gonna have to dump him...

[Wiseman2]

This is not a sign of being gay. There must be underlying problems if you are constantly questioning his sexuality.

Like yesterday my boyfriend said, when we were watching soccer and I asked him who fouled the other player and he said: the one with the blue eyes.

[pineapple9090]

I don't know why I always question his sexuality..

Yes that's true that he didn't say that but this would be really weird if he said that to his girlfriend..

 

Also I noticed that when we were laying at the pool and a hot woman passed by he didn't even look a second at her. He saw her but that's about it. And I sometimes do catch him looking at other guys. I just don't understand this behaviour..and then I obsess over these little things.. thinking like now I have evidence or so..

 

Yes I'm very insecure I think. Mostly caused by him being so far away from him..

 

It would actually make me feel better if he talked about other girls. Haha it sounds weird but I'm at that point where I sometimes wish he'd say something like: she has nice legs..

and whenever I say: Did you see how nice her legs were?

He always responds like: didn't see it.. or so..

 

And when I ask friends if their boyfriends mention other guys too they say: no not really...

[gigiselle]

Not recognizing anything out of ordinary here

[Wiseman2]

It sounds like you're looking for a horny jerk or womanizer to prove to yourself that he's not "gay". Who is giving you this awful misinformation about 'gay signs'?

 

It sounds like you are terribly insecure by pointing out and asking him if he notices hot women. It also sounds like he knows the right answers for a horribly insecure gf.

It would actually make me feel better if he talked about other girls. I sometimes wish he'd say something like: she has nice legs..and whenever I say: Did you see how nice her legs were?He always responds like: didn't see it

[j.man]

One of my favorite delis has a dude who works the register who is, bar none, probably the best looking dude I have ever seen. And I'm 100% straight. Guy makes me look like a look like a 0.5 out of 10.

 

One day the ol lady and I were walking and we were passing by and wanted sandwiches. I told my girlfriend, "Alright we can go here. But you gotta promise you ain't gonna leave me." She had no idea what I was talking about, but when we got our food and left, she goes "WOW."

 

Dudes are a lot more observant than we get credit for. We might not go all girly with a "omg he's sooo handsome" but we can see a guy and think "man... I bet that guy has no problem getting laid."

 

And I'd say especially when I started lifting weights, I started to appreciate aesthetics on guys. Not in any way sexual though.

[pineapple9090]

Thank you for your answers

 

Yes I'm really looking for signs that prove me wrong. And I'm really insecure but I have no machoes as guy friends at all but though no one ever mentioned something about another guy..

 

Do you also then look at the guys butt when one passes by or you walk behind one? Even unconsciously.. without any thoughts..

 

If you say then I can't tell by his behaviour.. would I notice it when we're making love? And how?

[superkatnip]

j.man that is the most self assured comment I have ever heard. Too funny.

[Clinton]

What does he have super vision and can see that far onto the pitch?? I couldn't tell you the color of anyone's eyes while watching sports for all the money in the world.

 

As to if he's gay, no freakin idea. I know I'm not, but I just might sleep with George Clooney if he asked me to though.

[Wiseman2]

Ask him point blank if he is bi.

I'm really looking for signs that prove me wrong

[RainyCoast]

i discretely ogle girls' behinds sometimes. i mean very discretely. i am put off by the idea of ever doing anything remotely sexual with a woman, but i do think "nice, how does she do that?". i'd be wondering what her exercise routine was or if she's just that lucky. you can appreciate a same-sex person's looks and not be sexually attracted.

 

i am also wondering how he can notice his eye color, you can barely tell who is who on the field. but it doesn't say gay to me at all.

 

what are the other things that make you question his orientation?

[j.man]

What does he have super vision and can see that far onto the pitch?? I couldn't tell you the color of anyone's eyes while watching sports for all the money in the world.

 

As to if he's gay, no freakin idea. I know I'm not, but I just might sleep with George Clooney if he asked me to though.

To be fair, there are some players you might notice with. Jesus Navas came to mind when I read OPs blue eyes example. With you on the Cloon though.

[RainyCoast]

okay now that we're in the "i'm enterntaining the thought because i know it will never happen" territory...carrie melbourne. i would do carrie melbourne.

 

i would not do cloon. luckily, he wouldn't do me either. how beautifully things even out

[Clinton]

To be fair, there are some players you might notice with. Jesus Navas came to mind when I read OPs blue eyes example. With you on the Cloon though.

 

J.man, when have I ever aspired to be fair in my posts

 

And Clooney yes but Brad Pitt no. Too girly for me.

[IAmFCA]

J.man, when have I ever aspired to be fair in my posts

 

And Clooney yes but Brad Pitt no. Too girly for me.

 

Jumping to add my two hetero cents backing up Clinton's sense of things... Brad Pitt - too pretty. Matt Damon - all mine.

[ParisPaulette]

Well that's not as gay as my boyfriend offering his male friend a dutch rudder (google that i can't even explain...)

 

Well, I just learned something new.

 

Anyways, OP, these are not signs your BF is gay. Hubs is a painter and artist, he notices good-looking men a whole lot faster than I do frankly, because he is always scouting faces for aesthetic appeal. And he's also joked before about me leaving him when I meet X or Y friends of his, because yes they kind of topped the scale in aesthetic appeal.

 

Nothing to worry about really.

 

P.S. Why does everyone find Brad Pitt soooo attractive???? He looks like a good ol' boy with a pickup truck and two hound dogs waiting at home, kind of bland. I only ever thought he was attractive in a sort of crazy dangerous way in 12 Monkeys, but otherwise nope. On the other hand Jason Momoa? Yeah, I get what all the fuss is about.

[katey27]

 

It would actually make me feel better if he talked about other girls. Haha it sounds weird but I'm at that point where I sometimes wish he'd say something like: she has nice legs..

and whenever I say: Did you see how nice her legs were?

He always responds like: didn't see it.. or so..

 

And when I ask friends if their boyfriends mention other guys too they say: no not really...

 

Believe me it wouldn't - I have just logged in here to post about my boyfriend constantly doing that and driving me crazy

[abitbroken]

Why are you so concerned that he is not into girls? He is into YOU isn't he? Be careful what you wish for. I had an ex that would talk about other women and if their breasts were fake or not and such. I am not talking about a woman that you cannot unsee - like a woman walks by with a 20 inch waists and a 52 inch bustline in a sparkly sequined halter dress with light up shoes on that he would say something about - but he would comment on everybody's whether he thought they were too small, large or somewhere in between. So count your blessings that he is respectful and does not oogle women when he is with you.

[Ms Darcy]

... yesterday my boyfriend said, when we were watching soccer and I asked him who fouled the other player and he said: the one with the blue eyes..

 

And ok, I was just wondering why he would notice something like that. I'd never notice him because he had blue eyes or so..

Don't you think it's a little bit.. unusual for a guy to say something like this?

 

I would be more worried if he said, "the one with the butt that I would like to have sex with."

[Ms Darcy]

As to if he's gay, no freakin idea. I know I'm not, but I just might sleep with George Clooney if he asked me to though.

 

If you don't mind slightly shorter celebrity guys, I've heard Tom Cruise is available and pays well as long as you sign a non-disclosure agreement.

[BlarneyStone]

Hey, soccer dudes are good looking. I'm not gay but Antoine Griezmann is 🔥

 

Sounds to me like he's super secure with who he is. And his eyes are for you only. I'm not sure in what world that's a bad thing.

[pineapple9090]

It was actually Antoine Griezmann he noticed with those blue eyes haha..

I mean yes he's good looking but I couldn't ever tell his hair color or eye color.. And on the other hand he really really doesn't seem like he's noticing any other girls..

 

Anyways.. my other reasons why Im worried are all things that aren't specific for gay people..

 

Yes he is into me.. and I already asked him a few weeks ago or so if he could ever have sex with a guy and he said like: no, it disgusts me..

 

I dont know. I probably interprete too much in little things.. literally seeking for signs..

[Wiseman2]

Of what? He's into you? He's bi? He tells you he only has eyes for you? What is the quality and frequency of your sex life? What is the real issue here?

literally seeking for signs..