Ex won't leave me alone

[Why9]

So we officially split a little more than two weeks ago then last Friday she tricked me in coming over because she wanted to talk and knew that she had to lie to get me to come over. We talked I got a little emotional explained I still loved her and wanted to work it out and if she didn't want to talk about getting back together then we had nothing more to talk about. So I've gone no contact since last Friday then this Wednesday she starts texting me just friendly chit-chat which I ignored she just kept texting all day till later in the evening when I finally responded letting her know that she's being selfish and not allowing me to heal her response was to apologize. So Thursday morning she texts me again and I ignore her she continues to text most of the day then finally at night again express how I feel and if she doesn't want to get back together she needs to leave me alone and she ends up calling me apologizes again says she's going through a lot and knows she's being selfish so I tell her either we try to work it out or she needs to let me go and again I express my love for her and how I miss her and we ended the conversation. Then just a few minutes ago she texts again I remind her of our conversation last night and she just says have a nice weekend be safe and I haven't responded like what is her deal she ended our three year relationship and said she doesn't love me like she used to but now won't leave me alone what the hell is going on.

[Wiseman2]

She wants a bf without being a gf. Stop asking her to come back or saying you love her. She sees this as the free pass to text and chat and have you wrapped around her finger.

[kbbcoop77]

Awwww how cute she wants you in the FRIENDZONE. Tell her the next time she texts you without a goal of reconciliation you're blocking her then DO IT. I went through that nonsense for months it slows your healing down drastically. I've been NC now for close to a year with my ex wife, she chose to leave but wanted all kinds of advice on her IRA and other crap and she'd just "check in" it was all BS.

[ParisPaulette]

The way you handle this is to stop responding. Once you have had to repeat your boundaries twice to someone then any attempts at contacting you after that are because of selfish reasons and/or NOT respecting you enough to override what they want.

 

She is feeling the shock of no longer having you in her life and is trying to use you, bluntly speaking here, as an emotional tampon (not my term BTW, someone else used it once, I thought it was a good term) to ease her into the idea of being single. With you safely at her side to talk with to keep her loneliness at bay she is free to look around from a safe position until she finds others to date and/or have a relationship with.

 

At which point you will be dumped all over again, suddenly. Most often with the story of "But you knew I didn't want anything with you and we were just friends now, right? I don't owe you anything, goodbye." And they then take off with whoever is now providing them what you did before.

 

So the way you go NC is to go NC. That means you block and delete, you ignore, you treat her like a used car salesman. And you carry on healing.

 

She will eventually tire of trying to get you to make her feel better about her own choices and will leave you alone. And you can then fully heal in peace. And please continue to not play that role should she move on, get burned, then try to rush back to you as a safe haven until she does it again.

 

Bottom line, you have stated your position twice now. She knows, she just wants to make sure she still has control and is turning to you to make herself feel better until she finds someone else to do that. Never accept that demotion.

[ThatwasThen]

Yes, just block her so that she can't screw with your head. She's trying to use you to help her get over you. Even if she is the dumper, we ALL have with drawl symptoms from no longer having someone in our life that was once there. Don't help her come to terms with her decision... let her work through that on her own.

[Why9]

Thank you everyone I appreciate the feedback.

[Hollyj]

Why do you keep on reminding her. She's not an idiot.

 

Dude, she is completely disrespecting you. She does not give a damn how you feel, as it is all for her ego.

 

Block her!!!!!