Should I reply the text from a girl who has a history in standing me up?

[AxlVega]

Hello everyone. Maybe this is a weird, convoluted topic but your thoughts would be much appreciated.

 

THE BACKSTORY

 

About 8 or 9 months ago I met this girl. We talked for like 5 or 10 minutes (she was shopping at the record store where I work), she went "You're interesting" and volunteered her number, said she'd like to go out for coffee sometime. I waited 4 or 5 days and then texted her. What followed was basically 2 weeks of getting cancelled and/or stood up.

 

1) I texted her about getting together "tomorrow", she replied "next week". No reason given.

2) 11 days go by, she gives no signs of life. I text her about getting together on Monday, she says Tuesday. No reason given.

3) She texts me on Monday, wanting to reschedule for Friday. No reason given. I say OK.

4) She texts me on Thursday, says maybe she'll drop by that day. She doesn't.

5) Come Friday she says she won't be able to make it again (some last minute emergency, first time she actually gives a reason). And that she's leaving town on Sunday, so we won't be seeing each other at all.

 

That was that. Never texted her again.

 

Now it's been 8 or 9 months since that and I get a fresh text from the same girl: she's back in town, wants to meet up for coffee.

 

That was 3 days ago. I haven't replied to the text.

 

THE CONCLUSION

 

My question is, should I reply? I get the feeling most people are gonna say yes, because what's there to lose, right? But honestly I kind of got sick of the girl after she stood me up all those times. I felt used. For the record I didn't get the impression that she was interested in me in a romantic way; she just seemed genuinely hyped about getting together and talking some more (again, I made zero effort to get her number, she just spontaneously offered hers). And yet she avoided me for the next 2 or 3 weeks before skipping town for good. Felt like she had lost her interest in me almost as soon as she had caught it.

 

A part of me wants the satisfaction of ignoring her and playing the "that ship has sailed" card. Another part of me wonders if I'm being too proud or petty for my own good. I dunno. It feels sillier and sillier the more I write about it. What do you think?

[Crank]

I certainly wouldn't bother wasting my time with her. She doesn't take you seriously. Can either not reply or reply and just say your busy and can't meet up.

[nuttybuddy]

well, i totally get how you don't want to be stood up again by replying to her text. you can respond to her text making her do all the work. tell her you get off work at (time) and she can come to meet you at the store since she knows where you work. if she doesn't show, that's it. you can just go home. no need to wait. if she happens to come by when you're not there, i'm sure one of your co-workers would know if a girl was there looking for you and tell you about it. make it easy breezy. that way you don't have to wait for her response. either she comes or she doesn't. no need to hang on her every word.

[tracyis300]

I would reply to her with "next week" Lol

8-9 months later and everything is A-OK for her to try and meet up?... Really?!

I wouldn't waste my time for her. And seeing that you haven't responded in 3days? Is telling her to give it up because it ain't happening.

But if curiosity gets the best of you? Then why not. But let her go out her way of meeting you at your workplace after ending your shift. If she shows up? Then great, but if not? Then whatever, you go about your way.

[Hollyj]

Why would you reply to someone who disrespected you like this? This girl is super-flakey!

 

Dude, you should think more of yourself!

[Astrogirllibra]

A lot of the comments under this are suggesting that you shouldn't, but chances are there's more to her story than just being "flaky", she initiated interest and offered her number and time to you which to me says a lot. You don't know what this girl could have been dealing with at that time. Maybe she was recovering from a bad relationship, maybe she was dealing with personal or financial or work related issues that kept her from getting more involved. These are all reasons I have walked away from possible interests and come back when I was more stable. Granted, she did waste your time and it's very frustrating on your end. It's really up to you to decide but I would say don't rule her out if you were very interested! You never know.

[AxlVega]

It's really up to you to decide but I would say don't rule her out if you were very interested! You never know.

 

I don't know if I was *that* interested in her in the first place. I guess I was interested because she was. But then she backed out in such a wishy-washy way that really put me off. And while I could entertain every amazing scenario that could've possibly withheld her from keeping her word, I'm inclined not to. I was wondering how many people would agree with my spite though (again, I've been "too proud" before, and a fresh perspective is appreciated).

[Iggy5129]

Why did you wait 4-5 days to text her in the first place?? This may be why she blew you off the first time around. If you're interested reach out. I think you dropped the ball the first time around. Now you've left it 3 days without responding to her. I'd drop it and move on.

[Wiseman2]

No she's shuffling dates in order of priority. Obviously you're on the "can be rescheduled" list so she's not worth your time or effort.

[Doc Blaze]

She wouldn't be worth my time.

[Sportster2005]

Ignore it, not for the satisfaction, because it's the correct thing to do. Calling her a flake, is an insult to flakes.

[reinventmyself]

Life is just that much better if you make it a practice to only surround yourself with only quality people.

 

Flakes, liars and opportunistic people need to find others just like themselves to entertain themselves.

 

Someone who doesn't have the decency to keep a date, especially after several attempts only blast into your life unannounced isn't someone I'd let in the door, personally.

 

Ignore/Delete

[tattoobunnie]

 

A part of me wants the satisfaction of ignoring her and playing the "that ship has sailed" card.

 

I would try to be funny - "Can we reschedule for February 9, 2017?" Or, "who is this?"

[reinventmyself]

I had some random guy from OLD dating, whom I only spoke to on the phone, could never arrange a date to meet, text me the other day.

Mind you it had been over a year and it took me a day or two to finally realize who the heck he was.

"Seriously?!" I thought.

I logged onto to my cell phone account and blocked his number ASAP.

[Doc Blaze]

Back in the day this girl used to flake on me all the time..

 

 

she would disappear and then I would get this random text "Hey stranger" lol...

 

 

if anyone messages you with something similar to "hey stranger" and they flake a lot,

 

 

keep it moving, you are their last option and they are bored and have nobody to hang out with at the time lol.

[nuttybuddy]

idk, everyone is saying ditch her. but i'd say drop her that last text of "meet me at my workplace if u really want to hang" only because YOU are a quality person and you don't stoop to her level. and if she finally doesn't show up. that's it. block her number from your phone.

 

also, i happen to agree with this post:

 

Why did you wait 4-5 days to text her in the first place?? This may be why she blew you off the first time around. If you're interested reach out. I think you dropped the ball the first time around. Now you've left it 3 days without responding to her. I'd drop it and move on.

 

You mentioned that you were pretty prideful in the past, and idk if that's why you waited so long to text her in the beginning. It may be that she sensed that you weren't THAT interested in her since you weren't jumping out of your seat to dine and wine her. And I'm not saying she's justified in paying back with the same kinda delay with rescheduling. I mean, she's got poor communication skills if she's gonna drop you like a hat.

 

It's up to you. If you weren't that interested in her in the first place, just stay acquaintances and be chill about it. No need to be frenemies.

[AxlVega]

Why did you wait 4-5 days to text her in the first place?? This may be why she blew you off the first time around. If you're interested reach out. I think you dropped the ball the first time around. Now you've left it 3 days without responding to her. I'd drop it and move on.

 

I think she gave me her number on a Sunday and I first texted her Wednesday or Thursday. I didn't think it was that much time to be honest.

[ParisPaulette]

Nope, don't respond. She'll stand you up again or the next time or whenever she feels like. Look, she couldn't even be bothered to meet you before so why would she now?

 

She's already shown you how much she doesn't value getting together and likely she's one of those people who overbooks a bunch of people then chooses the "best" activity that she wants to do and just stands up everybody else. This is one of those you'll push that lever 10,000 times and only get a reward once out of it for a whole bunch of electroshocks or just nothing at all.

 

My advice, don't be her lab rat. Block and delete her number and move on.

[AxlVega]

Thank you all for your insight. I'm going with my initial ruling - won't even respond the text. She already knows I read it anyway, which should be response enough.