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Explorer (4/14)

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  1. Ex keeps telling everyone he wants me back and sending mixed signals that tell me he wants me. But won't tell me anything. He told my friends he wants me back and doesn't want to see me with anyone else, but the week before blew me off when I tried to schedule us talking and clearing things up. Then he made an attempt to talk but someone else showed up so we couldn't. And a mutual friend told me he blew me off bc he's scared I'm going to tell him to leave me alone. But the week before I was so upset he didn't want to talk that I decided I shouldn't talk to him. What does all of this mean? Is he just trying to string me along bc he's lonely? Please help
  2. I'm scared to. I'm afraid he's not ready or will reject me. But I "bumped into" him again on Saturday and he left the ppl he was with at the bar to talk to me for most of the night. He has also started trying to get closer to all of my friends including ones I made after we broke up. Pretty sure I know what he's trying to do just trying to be patient and let him lead.
  3. I'm trying to wait but it's hard. I don't want to scare him away by approaching while I'm still unsure about how he feels :/
  4. Me and my ex have been broken up for 4 months. He broke up with me. I went NC for the first month but bc of mutual friends we became cordial again. Then he started inviting me to his house parties indirectly through our mutual friends, trying to get them to talk me into contacting him, and showing up to events he knew I'd be at. Started being very touchy, always hugging and staring from afar. He snap chatted me an invite to his New Year's Eve party so I went shortly, but left due to him being super drunk pacing and acting weird around me. Then a week later he comes out with our coworkers. The whole time he tries making convo with me, and is leaning super close and staring to the point where my friends notice. A few days after that my job has a holiday party. As soon as I arrive he hugs me and follows me around. My friends later told me that before I arrived, he hugged them and tried to make conversation with them (new friends that I made after us breaking up) which I thought was strange. Then all of us go outside for a smoke break, and he brings up one of my instagram stories from the other night when I went out(he watches all of my updates) also thought that was weird. Eventually there's a point where the two of us are alone. He just stares into my eyes with this smile on his face in silence for like 5 minutes. He asks me where I'm going after the party and I tell him I'm going home bc of work the next morning. He says "I'm so sorry" in a joking way, grabs my wrists and pulls me in for a hug which I allowed. He put his hands on my lower back and we just hugged for a bit. Then I pull away, he stares again, I start laughing. He pulls me in towards him by my waist and hugs me again so I ask him if he's leaving. He says no, but he's going to say goodbye again before he leaves. After this happens 2 of his coworkers try to pull me to the side and invite me to an after party (near my ex bfs house), one of the girls going as far as offering to let me crash at her place. Then we all leave, ten minutes later I get a text from my ex "I didn't get to see you before I left :/" so I said "lol it's okay I got dragged to the bar". He tells me "damn come to _____'s party" and I say "I'm gonna go home soon because of work" he says "ok :/". I didn't respond. Then I found a group booth photo from the holiday party today (4 days later) with the group of people I work with, and I notice he's in them as well which is funny because we don't work at the same branch. So I sent him a text of a photo of it and said "😂😂crashed our group photo" he responded 3 minutes later with 3 sunglasses emojis. My question is: do you think he's interested in getting back together even though he hasn't said it? He's very passive and indirect. Also does his response to my text seem uninterested? I didn't respond because it felt like a conversation killer. Just confused by his behavior or what I should do moving forward. Not sure if he was just drunk that night or really misses me. Any insight is appreciated.
  5. Honestly I feel like he thought I was going to break it off first. I was so unhappy and felt so helpless towards the end of our relationship that I would stop answering his texts and went cold and distant towards him. The day before we broke up I confronted him about a female friend he was spending time with because I was feeling insecure and I think when I confronted him the next day about us he felt cornered. Everyone has been telling me to be upfront and just approach him but the fact that he's so nervous and reluctant to actually have an upfront conversation makes me hesitant. I don't want to make him uncomfortable or forced to talk to me but I am getting impatient and starting to think I should just cut my losses
  6. So a friend tells mutual friends they want me back? If it was a coworker situation he wouldn't have to seek me out as much as he does as we don't work in the same part of the building and we already ended on an amicable note. I do agree moving on romantically is in my best interest but I don't feel his intentions are that innocent
  7. I guess I've been basing my decision about us on his actions. I feel like if he's willing to meet me halfway the 2nd time around he would be willing to meet me halfway with communicating that he really wants me back. Especially since he dumped me. But thank you so much everyone for your feedback. I feel much better knowing he is actually showing signs about wanting to reconcile and it's not just my wishful thinking
  8. You're right, my pride has been holding me back from approaching him and taking the lead along with the uncertainty if he's really ready to compromise and make me a priority. I'm scared he wants to have me without doing the work that I'm willing to do to be with him. That would crush me. Our relationship was super easygoing and comfortable and he is genuinely a good person. There was no foul play that I know of or abuse
  9. Me and my ex that I met at work have been broken up for almost 4 months. NC the whole time except him texting me a week after my bday(a month after our break up) to apologize for not wishing me a happy birthday which I accepted. Since then we've somewhat become friends again. We started off as friends, until I confessed to him I had a small crush on one of his close friends & in exchange he admitted his feelings for me. In the past I have felt that although I never acted on those feelings and they passed, it might've been a factor in our breakup. He gave me fluff reasons like "it's not the right time" and "I can't give you what you deserve" because I asked him to spend more time with me. We would hang out every 2-3 weeks and we're in the same place of work!!! Extremely frustrating. He also wasn't the best at communicating. Granted he had just got his 1st apartment, juggled work and class, and is only a sophomore in college but still, it sucked. He has started showing up to every event he knows I'll be at & hovering and staring all night, trying to use a mutual friend to drop hints (he's not over me, he made a mistake, he's not seeing anyone else, he's sad and confused), trying to get me to go to one of his house parties but never has the balls to invite me himself (so I always decline). Finally NYE he threw one and snap chatted me an invite. It caught me off guard completely. Our mutual friend was badgering me to go so I went, I'm not sure what I was expecting. Maybe more closure. But it was a tame night despite him being really drunk, pacing back and forth and acting weird to the point where our friend pointed it out, and he was constantly asking me if I was having a good time and making piercing eye contact, at which point I left without saying goodbye because I felt awkward. A couple days later I see him again after work at the bar me and my friends always go to. He usually doesn't come unless there's an actual event but this time he did. He stood so close to me when we got there and stared so hard even my friends were uncomfortable. He did make an effort to converse with me about random things but again we weren't alone. He always hugs me when he sees me or hugs me goodbye. My question is: how can I find out how he feels or what's going on without freaking him out? I can tell he wants to get something off his chest but we are never alone together and we don't communicate via text. He is very scared of communicating and just insecure in general. How can I find out his intentions so that we can have a shot at reconciliation or at least a real friendship again where there's not all this tension underlying everything? Please please help. Thank you so much
  10. I understand all of this, though sometimes on this site when I am looking for insight on a particular situation at hand or someone's motives I end up getting a speech about self love and "reconnecting with myself". I got that part down. Just need insight on mixed signals I am receiving
  11. I did full no contact for 2 months however we work together and share mutual friends. So avoiding him and ignoring him was awkward and more painful, and just not practical.
  12. He broke up with me 3 months ago and expressed regret to mutual friends the next day and constantly post break up but never tried to get me back. Our mutual friends are always telling me he's always by himself at parties and isn't seeing anyone. Only contact we have had all these months was him apologizing for not wishing me a happy bday when he knew it was (which I accepted). The past couple of months whenever he sees me out with mutual friends he comes and hugs me. Yesterday he even came up to me and spoke to me, and it seemed like he wanted to talk about something more but we weren't alone. every time I am friendly and amicable because I still care about him. Even though I have not reached out and went completely silent after I agreed to break up, I think I might still have feelings for him. His best friend(also my good friend) has told me 2 weeks ago that he is not over me. My question is, are his attempts at friendship platonic or is there a chance he wants me back? I know he is still attracted to me but I still don't have a real reason for why we broke up other than "it's not the right time for a relationship". Please help. I'm confused
  13. We broke up 2 years ago because of me but had a very tight bond/friendship. I still miss him to this day and wish he was in my life and have thinking about him a lot lately. Should I send him a message & tell him how I feel or just leave the situation alone? I haven't heard from him in 2 years.
  14. He broke up with me 6 weeks ago and we haven't contacted each other since except him apologizing for not wishing me a happy bday. Saw him at a party Saturday night and he gave me a hug. A mutual friend of ours said he was staring at me the whole night & a different friend told me he's been saying he regrets breaking up and what he did was stupid. Does this mean he wants to get back together?
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