NuttyAsh Posted May 8, 2016 Share Posted May 8, 2016 I'm friends with this older man (he is 53 and I am 27). And yes we are just friends, nothing else. Now getting to the point of why I am posting. He recently tells me that this girl who he was a step-father too when him and her mother dated a eons ago is getting married (she is only 2 or 3 years younger than me.) I said that was great, he more or less gave me a look that portrayed he was not happy about it, and I ask him what the problem was. He tells me that the guy who this girl is getting married too is in his 40s. I point out age is just a number, while he did agree with me he just did not understand why a young thing like her would want to be with a 40 year old who already has a kid. I didn't say much of anything else and bit my tongue because I didn't want to say anything that might cause a argument or to offend him. Too me I think he is slightly hypocritical because he flirts with me at times and has hinted that he would like to date me. Am I wrong in thinking he is a hypocrite or is he just being protective? Link to comment
rosephase Posted May 8, 2016 Share Posted May 8, 2016 He's watched her grow up. He's known her as a child. It's hard for him to see her as an adult. You? He met you as an adult. I think that is a fairly normal reaction. It's hypocritical but it's not a huge deal. It's not like he's telling her not to do it or making a big fuss... he's having some feelings about it. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted May 8, 2016 Share Posted May 8, 2016 Well, I am not sure 27 is a " young thing" . " Young thing" is like 19. I got married at 27 it is a perfectly acceptable age. Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted May 8, 2016 Share Posted May 8, 2016 I thought you said he was just a friend. Then you throw in at the end that he flirts and hints at dating you. So which is it? Is he a friend or a man romantically interested in you? Cause they aren't the same thing. Anyways I don't think it's hypocritical at all unless he's dating down in terms of age by a large margin like that. Does he, has he? Link to comment
NuttyAsh Posted May 8, 2016 Author Share Posted May 8, 2016 To itsallgrand I was making a comparison by what he was doing. He is just a friend, but is interested in me as more than that. But I've made it clear that I only see him as friend. It however doesn't stop him from flirting with me from time to time. To Victoria66 she is 2 or 3 years younger (maybe even younger than that) we are not the same age. Just thought I clear that up. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted May 8, 2016 Share Posted May 8, 2016 Even 2 or 3 years is not drastic. My husband married me when he was 24. ( a few months shy of 25) But if she is in the 18-22 range well yeah there is not enough development there. Under 25 really don't think marriage should be under taken . Link to comment
Jibralta Posted May 8, 2016 Share Posted May 8, 2016 Am I wrong in thinking he is a hypocrite or is he just being protective? I don't think it's either. I think he's testing the water with you to see if you'd be interested in dating an older man. Link to comment
Tinydance Posted May 8, 2016 Share Posted May 8, 2016 I think the guy may be jealous that the other older guy got a much younger woman and he can't get you! Link to comment
Hermes Posted May 8, 2016 Share Posted May 8, 2016 I agree with Jibralta. IMO don't ruminate too much about it NuttyAsh. Link to comment
NuttyAsh Posted May 8, 2016 Author Share Posted May 8, 2016 To Hermes, i'm not thinking about it too much I wasn't sure what to make of it. But I think rosephase is right. I wasn't looking at as he knew her growing up and he knew me as an adult, so I guess he was just being slightly protective of her. Link to comment
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