Is he just being protective or is he being a hypocrite and judgemental?

[NuttyAsh]

I'm friends with this older man (he is 53 and I am 27). And yes we are just friends, nothing else. Now getting to the point of why I am posting.

 

He recently tells me that this girl who he was a step-father too when him and her mother dated a eons ago is getting married (she is only 2 or 3 years younger than me.) I said that was great, he more or less gave me a look that portrayed he was not happy about it, and I ask him what the problem was. He tells me that the guy who this girl is getting married too is in his 40s. I point out age is just a number, while he did agree with me he just did not understand why a young thing like her would want to be with a 40 year old who already has a kid.

 

I didn't say much of anything else and bit my tongue because I didn't want to say anything that might cause a argument or to offend him. Too me I think he is slightly hypocritical because he flirts with me at times and has hinted that he would like to date me.

 

Am I wrong in thinking he is a hypocrite or is he just being protective?

[rosephase]

He's watched her grow up. He's known her as a child. It's hard for him to see her as an adult. You? He met you as an adult.

 

I think that is a fairly normal reaction. It's hypocritical but it's not a huge deal. It's not like he's telling her not to do it or making a big fuss... he's having some feelings about it.

[Seraphim]

Well, I am not sure 27 is a " young thing" . " Young thing" is like 19. I got married at 27 it is a perfectly acceptable age.

[itsallgrand]

I thought you said he was just a friend. Then you throw in at the end that he flirts and hints at dating you. So which is it? Is he a friend or a man romantically interested in you? Cause they aren't the same thing.

 

Anyways I don't think it's hypocritical at all unless he's dating down in terms of age by a large margin like that. Does he, has he?

[NuttyAsh]

To itsallgrand I was making a comparison by what he was doing. He is just a friend, but is interested in me as more than that. But I've made it clear that I only see him as friend. It however doesn't stop him from flirting with me from time to time.

 

To Victoria66 she is 2 or 3 years younger (maybe even younger than that) we are not the same age. Just thought I clear that up.

[Seraphim]

Even 2 or 3 years is not drastic. My husband married me when he was 24. ( a few months shy of 25) But if she is in the 18-22 range well yeah there is not enough development there. Under 25 really don't think marriage should be under taken .

[Jibralta]

Am I wrong in thinking he is a hypocrite or is he just being protective?

 

I don't think it's either. I think he's testing the water with you to see if you'd be interested in dating an older man.

[Tinydance]

I think the guy may be jealous that the other older guy got a much younger woman and he can't get you!

[Hermes]

I agree with Jibralta.

 

IMO don't ruminate too much about it NuttyAsh.

[NuttyAsh]

To Hermes, i'm not thinking about it too much I wasn't sure what to make of it. But I think rosephase is right. I wasn't looking at as he knew her growing up and he knew me as an adult, so I guess he was just being slightly protective of her.