roller coaster

[tochjejo]

I hate it... one day I'm feeling good, the other day like today I find myself lying on the floor weeping my eyes out, beggin whoever is there up in sky to stop it, or bring him back. He told me he doesn't love me. I gave my all. I know I deserve somebody, who will love me and will want to give me all those things I want to give. But now I just cant imagine anybody else. I still want to make HIM happy, kiss HIM, hug HIM. Yesterdey I was in "f**k off" mood, today I!'m complete mess. it's been 2 months. exactly two months. I want to tell him and show him so much how he hurted me, how im suffering, crying almost everyday.How he took all the beautiful dreams away, I wanted to give him a family. He hurted me, but I still want him back, want to be with him. Do you have those high and low days too? I'm really miserable, need some positive, helping hand thank you

[Billie28]

Why do you want him to be happy while you stay miserable?

You will never be responsible for anyone else's happiness.

You can however contribute to another's misery .

If you are not happy within yourself, that will impact on another.

[Waraqqa]

Tochejo, what you are experiencing is Normal. When there are strong feelings, real feelings, and it falls apart, it is normal to grieve and go through phases of ups and downs like you do. Please be gentle on yourself. Continue to stay no contact, stay away from him, don't tell him anything, and just heal, take your time. It WILL get better with time, all these urges and feelings will dissolve and become calm. Sometimes people sink into a post-breakup depression for months or even longer. So, you will get better. If you feel like crying, then cry. If you feel like punching something, go and do a work out. If you feel like laughing hysterically, laugh. Whatever you feel, don't suppress it, go through it, and with time you'll heal, little by little.

Take care.

[fifregister]

I'm sorry to hear. Healing and emotions come in waves. I'm going through something now and actually fainted from physical and emotional exhaustion yesterday. There is no why...it just is. Please take care of yourself and allow your feelings to come and leave your body. The only way to get rid of feelings is to actually feel them. It gets better. Much slower than you like but it will....

[tochjejo]

If you are not happy within yourself, that will impact on another.

 

I have no idea, Billie I know I will sound like a childish idiot, and I know I have to love myself and be happy with myself, not waiting for somebody who will make me happy... but I have no idea how to do that I always put others first, work as a doctor, care about all people that are around...

 

plus the idea of searching someone new is just awful all the "hello, how are you, what do you do for life" bla bla.. it seems stupid now...

[Hollyj]

Your feelings are normal. Time is your only salvation. This will pass.

 

What helped me, was being super busy. I got involved in any new activity that I thought would be of interest. it kept my mind occupied, and I benefitted from new interests and friends. Also, no discussion of ex with friends or family.

[SooSad33]

Going thru some rough days as well.

just over 2 months apart.. remaining NC for last 5 weeks.

 

Some days sure feel like H*ll... but.. let the tears out. it's a form of release and take care of YOU now.

[tochjejo]

it's a form of release and take care of YOU now.

 

will try to take care of me. I have to somehow, but dont know how start to like myself, be happy just with myself and enjoy a life as a single... Today was one of good days, but I know that those bad days will come eventually again... don't believe, that I will find anybody, and I really really don't want to look for anyone... but that changes too? i guess??

 

You take care. I personally hated the NC, he started it, he said it was easier and better. I hated him for that. But Now I know and see, it is the only way how to get over. I want to know what he is doing, but because I want ot be part of it, and Im not going to. So knowing what he's planning is hurting me, because when the days come, when I know he's on holidays, I start to think more about him.... better not to know. be brave!!!

[Johnny Anony]

Sorry for your pain, the grief sucks. i go through the roller coaster rides of emotion, wishing I could go back in time and fix things, it's been about 2 months for me, NC is hard cause I have kids, LC is working somewhat. But I agree with previous posters, time is your number one advocate. I know it sucks but it's going to take time to heal. Stay in touch with family and friends, volunteer somewhere, get lost in your work. Cry as much as you need, post on forums like this to get advice. Best wishes

[Wiseman2]

Actually he didn't. You can still have those with someone better.

he took all the beautiful dreams away

[ambreaux405]

What you're feeling is normal.

I even titled my journal on here "My rollercoaster" , check it out if you want to read about all I went through with my break up.

At first I felt like you...I wanted to make sure he knew how much he had hurt me. But that goes away after awhile. I like that my life is a complete mystery to him now. He has no idea what I am doing, who I am doing it with, nothing.

You will get to a better place. Just hang on. Ride out the roller coaster, find new things that make you happy, and cut off contact from him.

[tochjejo]

I had to ask him to send me back my trekking shoes, since Im leaving for holidays and it sucked. From really good day i again ended up crying my eyes out. I'm sorry for you, because you cant really use no contact but I believe, the time will heal you too, just it will take probably more time then us, that we dont have to contact them if we dont want to. thank you for the post, every one makes me feel better, not alone, hopeful. K. Take care!!

[tochjejo]

Johnny Anony : I had to ask him to send me back my trekking shoes, since Im leaving for holidays and it sucked. From really good day i again ended up crying my eyes out. I'm sorry for you, because you cant really use no contact but I believe, the time will heal you too, just it will take probably more time then us, that we dont have to contact them if we dont want to. thank you for the post, every one makes me feel better, not alone, hopeful. K. Take care!!