Cheater exposed.. is this a terrible idea?!

[Capricorn3]

Honest opinions please.

I think it is an absolutely awful idea! It stinks (imo). It will backfire on you and makes BOTH you and your mother look really bad. Your mother should not be interfering in your business and needs to get herself off his Facebook. It makes her come across as a petty high school kid. You are both adults and should act accordingly. Walk away from this with your head held high and dignity in tact. Hopefully your mother will do the same.

[ParisPaulette]

While I understand your mom's sentiment, please don't let her do this. This is the sort of thing that breeds feuds or worse and what are you going to both do if he or one of his friends or family decide to take it to the next level?

 

Sorry, I'd be too worried about the crazy this could generate and relieved I was just out of there to do this. Both you and your mom need to get off Facebook, block and delete this guy, go have an amazing life without him and let him dig his own grave. People who regularly screw others over typically get stupid and screw the wrong person over anyways, sooner or later. So let him do that and you stay out of it.

 

Your head will catch up with your emotions soon enough and one day you'll just be glad you got out when you did. Until you get there drop all of this and move on.

[Cope]

Hi NightLily!

I am so sorry you are going through this now! I have been in your place years ago. Do not let your Mother post that on his page, you will gain nothing from it and you will just keep on trying to seek a way to feel better by "making him pay", well thing is, these type of people do not care. Whatever you do to "ruin" his life, it will not work, trust me. Read up on sociopaths and in general "Cluster B" personalities, i think he falls under that category.

 

The other girl/s he is seeing right now will be easy to manipulate as she/they are blinded by love too and will believe anything he tells them."Oh that's just a crazy fan who thought we were in a relationship" and so on... You really have to focus on you right now. What really helped me through that break up was realizing how much of an as***** he was. It did take a while till the anger subsided, but it was worth it. I learned A LOT about myself because of that idiot. I had to forgive myself for falling for him in the first place. That was the key to my happiness.

 

Take care and find a way to let your anger out!

[catfeeder]

Comes off as vindictive bunny-boiler stuff.

 

We all make bad choices in lovers. We can either take the fallout as painful tuition and learn how to make better choices going forward, or we can dig ourselves a bigger hole to climb out of.

 

I'd quit the digging.

 

Head high.

[browneyedgirl36]

If I were you, I'd be BEGGING my mom NOT to do this.

 

One of the things I learned from a previous painful break-up: Dignity is NOT over-rated. I could have done SO much stuff to my ex -- we work together, AND one of his ex girlfriends (the one he kept ditching me for) worked with us too, and I could have, for example, contacted her and told her a ton of stuff about him (like how he tried to get me to sleep with him when he was still with her, things he said about her, etc.) I never did. I kept it to myself or vented to a few trustworthy close friends. Interestingly, at one point, he commented to me that he was impressed with how I handled my feelings -- that I had handled everything very well. Not that his opinion mattered, but it DID make me realize that, if he thought I had handled myself well, then probably most other people thought that too. Now, I get that what other people think isn't the most important thing, but there's a LOT to be said for being dignified in public and NOT being that "crazy ex" that everyone jokes about (i.e. the "bunny-boiler" that catfeeder mentioned).

 

The BEST thing you can do is write this guy off for good. Block his number. Block him on all social media so that you can't see what he is posting or what people are posting about him. And, PLEASE ask your mother to un-friend him. The fact that she friend requested him in the first place is odd, and this can't go anywhere good at all if she takes action by trying to publicly shame him on FB. It will, in fact, make you look worse than it makes him look, most likely, because you will come across as vindictive. Not a good look for anyone.

 

And yes, quit digging. You know all you need to know about this guy.

[Tanzi]

Bad, bad, bad idea. To be honest, your mum should know better!!!!

 

Those who know you already know the truth. Those who don't won't care.

 

Remain dignified.

[Tanzi]

How would it hurt my reputation?

 

I don't doubt for one moment that you are hurting (and I know from personal experience that being cheated on and lied to is hard to get over) but, to be frank, you aren't the first person to be cheated on and you won't be the last. Yet many people come through this without whipping up a public storm and dragging other people into it.

 

How YOU conduct yourself in the face of adversity will define you as a person and you won't be doing yourself any favours by trying to bring your ex down publicly. People just don't like it and they don't want to see it. It's just .... CRINGE!!!! All he has to say is "see what I had to put with" and any sympathy anyone had for you will shift towards him.

 

On top of which both you and your mum will come across as emotionally unhinged. Do you really need to be told this?