Hard time letting go of past events dealing with his family

[Amynmars]

Ok, so he has said hurtful stuff in the past that has negatively impacted the relationship. I have been thinking of marriage so the hurtful stuff has been more on my mind than before.

 

 

For starters, we almost didn't end up as a couple. I was close to exclusively seeing someone else. This was four years ago. The first year he kept me a secret from his family.

 

Then we moved in and so he told his family. Fine times. We visited them. We have had issues with me getting stressed out due to work.

 

Well, last year I picked up a lot of work to help pay for supplies since the house needsd major work suddenly. His family came up to help work on stuff so I was kicked out of the house into a hot bright camper. I work with sick patients on night shift so sleeping is a struggle for me. He told his brother in law it would be ok to go mow outside (on the mower I bought). So I was pissed because I had almost no sleep due to difficulty of falling asleep. I went inside to use the bathroom and slammmed a door. He told me that I was being rude and needed to apologize. He also has made statements like his job is important too and he knows how it is because people can die if he makes a mistake (not even close).

 

 

Then he has said stuff like "it's my house. Go get a postal box" when we fought over how the UPS guy needs to drop my boxes at the house and not his job because he is unreliable and forgets multiple times to bring stuff home.

 

 

He is sort of country and not the type of guy I would normally date. He is a relief from past boyfriends but he recently started using facebook again and the stuff he posts is starting to irritate me. Mostly homophobic that is offensive but he finds funny. He also is throwing a lot of money into gun stuff. He has an entire room dedicated to it. Half he downstairs has gun stuff. I feel like there is almost no space for me. He finally cleared out one room for me to use but whenever his family comes over, guess whose room they get to use?

 

 

I am also asking myself what is the point of the relationship. He doesn't want kids. It is unfair of me to expect him to compromise. He also will need to quit his job soon due to a bad back and he cannot quit spending money on guns. If we were to get married, I would be funding his lifestyle that is too expensive for my tastes.

 

My bitterness is building up right now. I think it is also fueled by him talking about me to his friends and marriage when I feel like the whole marriage conversation should be private first because suddenly everyond thinks we're getting married.

[Wiseman2]

This is an excellent question "also asking myself what is the point of the relationship". Why even consider marrying someone whose lifestyle is so different? If you are bitter now it will only grow.

This was four years ago. I am also asking myself what is the point of the relationship. He doesn't want kids. It is unfair of me to expect him to compromise. He also will need to quit his job soon due to a bad back and he cannot quit spending money on guns. My bitterness is building up right now

[dave_1966]

Wow, a homophobic gun nut, what a catch.

[melancholy123]

You seriously want to marry this guy? Bad move. You guys are not compatible, he's got no respect for you, you dont like most of what he does or doesnt do. Surely you can do better.

[ParisPaulette]

And the reason why you're now contemplating marriage to this guy? Seriously, you don't even sound like you like him. I mean you're seeing red flag after red flag and just keep walking right towards it. Unless you enjoy wearing hairs shirts in the summer and taking care of a man who will spend all of your money on guns you need to seriously reevaluate why your common sense hasn't kicked in.

 

I'm sorry, if you marry this guy at that point you have no one to point the finger at but yourself. Most would have been gone a long time ago. I would have.

[catfeeder]

Most people are not our match. If finding love were easy, what would be so special about it? You can opt to settle for a bad match, it's not against the law, but with millions of people in the world, the question becomes, why?