Guy I am seeing for nearly 2 months hasn't written me in one week

[Iknowaline]

Ok- so i started seeing this guy nearly 2 months ago.. it has been great! we never have a quiet or dull moment with each other. I have met his friends, he has met mine, our dates are fun and long- we didn't even have sex until nearly month in where we continued to see each other regularly. We used to see each other about twice a week but i haven't seen each other in two weeks- one week because he was sick/extremely busy with a project with work and last week... well because i don't know. I am 30, he is 35 both busy adults. He messaged me on a sunday where i was at a bday party and totally forgot to reply until the next day- which our messages were vague.. Tuesday he texts me "I reallllllly want to see you soon" ....I write back after a few hours after i come home from work "ok- when are you available this week- lets plan something?"nothing.. no repsonse, no call no email..nothing.I never wrote back because i don't want to appear to be weird or desperate sounding.

 

that was last tuesday...nearly one week ago..I'm taking it as he just isn't that into me anymore.but why would he write he wants to see me then disappear ? the longest he goes without texting me in 1.5-2 days max ......

 

Should I write him ? And if so...then what? I want to write something that doesn't appear needy/weird/ or desperate.. If he isn't into me then ok...but I think its extremely rude just to fall off the face of the earth. I could understand if we only went on 1 or 2 dates but nearly 2 months... i am SO confused and annoyed. I really want to see him again

 

MEN- have you ever done this to a woman you were seeing? if so- why?

 

Also- He HAS read/recieved my text.. We use whatsapp and it tells you when the other person read it... He read my last texts minutes after receiving it... never wrote back

[missmarple]

I would call him. Maybe he hadn't even gotten your last message.

[jjkk]

First of all...are you sure he got the text? I know from personal experience that occasionally texts don't go through and the person who sent them doesn't know they haven't gone through. Perhaps he thought you ditched him? It just seems strange that he would say he reallllly wants to see you and then drop off the face of the earth. If you really like him, call or text him and say you didn't hear back about planning a date and was wondering if he'd still like to set something up. At least this way you'll know for sure. Best of luck!!

[Iknowaline]

Well thats the thing- We use whatsapp..... It tells you once someone has read your message and he has...he read it minutes after I sent it

[DancingFool]

Well thats the thing- We use whatsapp..... It tells you once someone has read your message and he has...he read it minutes after I sent it

 

In that case, you have your answer. For whatever reason, he decided to ghost.

[Wiseman2]

Yes, text/call and ask to get together, maybe he missed your last text. Or see if he is playing games. Either way you'll have some answers.

i started seeing this guy nearly 2 months ago- we didn't even have sex until nearly month in where we continued to see each other regularly. I am 30, he is 35 both busy adults. Tuesday he texts me "I reallllllly want to see you soon" ....I write back "ok- when are you available this week- lets plan something?".. no repsonse that was last tuesday...nearly one week ago. Should I write him?

[Iknowaline]

Ghost? I have heard of that before... doesn't that usually happen after a few dates... Not 2 months? We both never spoke about being exclusive, heading into a relationship... it was SO EASY and natural .. I don't understand.. Do you text a "ghost" back?

[Robin2904]

Maybe he took your long reply time for not being interested in seeing him? You said you didn't text back the first time until the next day, and then replied to that text a few hours later. Plus he hadn't seen you in a few weeks, maybe he just felt put off?

 

I would just be upfront about it and bite the bullet and text him and ask him if he'd like to get together soon and that you'd like to see him. If he doesn't answer at least you'll know either way.

[dave_1966]

I was texting my ex when I met her, and there was a network fault where the messages didn't get through to her. I eventually called, and she was really happy to hear form me. Now, I wish I hadn't bloody bothered but thats another story.

 

Call him once, if it goes to voicemail leave a happy message saying 'hi, call me etc' and leave it at that.

[greta96]

Ghost? I have heard of that before... doesn't that usually happen after a few dates... Not 2 months? ?

 

There is no timeline for ghosting unfortunately.

But to be 100% sure, shoot him another text (or call) and see what happens. If he ignores again, then you know where you stand.

If you do get together but this sort of thing happens again, then it's a pattern that suggests he enjoys being chased down and you'd be smart to abort mission.

[ThatwasThen]

Ok- so i started seeing this guy nearly 2 months ago.. it has been great! we never have a quiet or dull moment with each other. I have met his friends, he has met mine, our dates are fun and long- we didn't even have sex until nearly month in where we continued to see each other regularly. We used to see each other about twice a week but i haven't seen each other in two weeks- one week because he was sick/extremely busy with a project with work and last week... well because i don't know. I am 30, he is 35 both busy adults. He messaged me on a sunday where i was at a bday party and totally forgot to reply until the next day- which our messages were vague.. Tuesday he texts me "I reallllllly want to see you soon" ....I write back after a few hours after i come home from work "ok- when are you available this week- lets plan something?"nothing.. no repsonse, no call no email..nothing.I never wrote back because i don't want to appear to be weird or desperate sounding.

 

that was last tuesday...nearly one week ago..I'm taking it as he just isn't that into me anymore.but why would he write he wants to see me then disappear ? the longest he goes without texting me in 1.5-2 days max ......

 

Should I write him ? And if so...then what? I want to write something that doesn't appear needy/weird/ or desperate.. If he isn't into me then ok...but I think its extremely rude just to fall off the face of the earth. I could understand if we only went on 1 or 2 dates but nearly 2 months... i am SO confused and annoyed. I really want to see him again

 

MEN- have you ever done this to a woman you were seeing? if so- why?

 

Also- He HAS read/recieved my text.. We use whatsapp and it tells you when the other person read it... He read my last texts minutes after receiving it... never wrote back

 

After you slept together did you talk to him about exclusivity? If not, why not? If I actually wanted something exclusive and committed, I would have enquired about it BEFORE we had sex. Did you meet him online?

 

Anyway: It sounds to me like he's juggling more then one woman and its likely that he will get back to you once he has secured the other chick(s) or when he gets bored with her/them and its your turn again.

 

I'd not just let him walk back in and treat you like booty. He has been disrespectful in not returning your contact or making definite plans to see you. A "I realllly want to see you soon" is just words that he hopes will keep you hooked." If he reallllly wanted to see you soon, he would have asked to see you the next night and not just told you he really wanted to see you.

 

I bet you two to one he will be back and wanting to just walk back in like he owned the place only to get cold again when it's not "your turn" In other words: Player.

[DancingFool]

Ghost? I have heard of that before... doesn't that usually happen after a few dates... Not 2 months? We both never spoke about being exclusive, heading into a relationship... it was SO EASY and natural .. I don't understand.. Do you text a "ghost" back?

 

Someone suddenly disappearing on you can happen at any time. It's not about the length of time, but the character of the person.

Anyway, you are asking about texting him back, but if I understand correctly, you already reached out about a date. He hasn't responded. You can give him the benefit of the doubt, software glitches happen and reach out one more time. If he is still silent, you know he ghosted you, aka ended thing without the basic courtesy of letting you know after 2 months of dating. Given that, it wouldn't exactly be a big loss - remember when a guy pulls something like that, it speaks a lot to his character or rather lack of.

 

Also, yeah, if he surfaces a few weeks down the road with a busy oh I was soooo busy story, laugh and tell him to get lost. Please please don't fall for that bs.

[Iknowaline]

We didn't talk about being exclusive or commitment... We both are fine with just "dating"....i think 2 months is way too soon to talk about commitment or being exclusive. I am dating other men- but not sleeping with them. –This guy is my favourite and the longest I have been seeing- the others only 1-2 dates. After the sex - yes it brought us closer but i didn't want to bring up commitment and i don't think he did as well....Time will tell- again 2 months is too soon for me to get a "bf" . We are happy the way things are. If he is dating other people of course i care- just don't want to know about it- but as i said I have met all his best friends and he mine- which isn't common here in Spain where we live if you don't really like someone- Also went to his bday party with all his closest friends and i was his date so it says something i think. I messaged him late last night- he wrote back- i flat out asked him if he wanted to see me again and he said "of course, why wouldn't i"...I haven't wrote back yet... I want to write "well maybe because you disappeared for a week !" but don't want to come off as crazy/or if i care sooo much (but i do)....Dating is sooo confusing!

 

I am upset that he ignored my last messaged last week- i just don't know how to respond to "of course I do, why do you ask" playing it "cool"

[missmarple]

Stop playing it cool and tell him what you want. But if you believe that 2 months is too soon to call him your bf, I don't see how you can complain that he didn't message you for a week. You either want commitment or you don't. Dating isn't confusing..people make it confusing when they don't know what they want.

[Iknowaline]

I wrote him late last night- I made it casual by messaging him something funny- we chatted awhile then i directly asked him "Do you ever want to see me again" He fell asleep and wrote me as soon as he woke up "of course I do, why do you ask " I haven't responded yet.... I want to say "because you ignored my last message and didn't call me for a week!!" But that would just make me look crazy... I don't know what to write to not sound needy...I want to remain to be "cool" and pretend i don't care even though I do so much!

[Iknowaline]

I don't know if I want a boyfriend just yet.... It scares me..I was badly hurt 2 years ago and just started dating maybe 6-7 months ago. It just makes me nervous because you're right- it shouldn't care if he doesn't message me for a week...I was just upset he didn't write me back- I don't even ignore my friends texts for a week- its just rude. If he were to ask me to be his gf today i dont know what i would say... I mean i like him a lot but I am afraid to get into a relationship

[missmarple]

Well, since he himself asked you why you'd think he doesn't want to see you again, I see no harm in replying with the truth and see what he says. I don't think it would make you look crazy or anything..it makes perfect sense.

[ajiuo]

I've been on the opposite end of this experience. It was really weird. I just felt like she wasn't making enough of an effort to show how she felt... And after months it just didn't seem like it was going anywhere... I'm pretty sure she was still hung up over a breakup that happens nearly a year before... So I think maybe she needed to figure herself out first.

 

My only suggestion would be don't play stupid games. The idea that you should wait a certain amount of hours or days to respond to somebody so that you don't seem desperate is ridiculous... I mean that might be true for somebody that you don't know... But once you establish a relationship with somebody and care about them... Then you should be excited to respond to them. You're not desperate for something that's already kind of been in the process of being established for so long... And when you play those kind of games it kind of shows diss interest on your part and probably affects how he feels... I don't know your full situation... But the best thing that you can do is worry about yourself and that you're letting him know that you're interested and that you care... It's up to him to do the same thing on his end. If you're doing your end and he's not doing his end then you have your answer... But if you don't play games and put effort into it you might find that he does the same.... And I'm not accusing you of anything I'm just saying that the best thing any person can ever do is take a look at what they're doing personally and how it might affect things... And seriously... Don't play games. Nobody wants that. Unless you're in the very early stages of dating the nonsense about waiting to reply and blah blah blah... It's all BS... It gets to a point where it just shows a lack of interest.

[ajiuo]

And I know it's hard to read people's minds some time so if there's any confusion about anything talk to him, ask him questions... If you're serious about this then communication is going to be an important thing... Assuming that you wanted to succeed.

[SoulTaker]

We didn't talk about being exclusive or commitment... We both are fine with just "dating"....i think 2 months is way too soon to talk about commitment or being exclusive. I am dating other men- but not sleeping with them. –This guy is my favourite and the longest I have been seeing- the others only 1-2 dates. After the sex - yes it brought us closer but i didn't want to bring up commitment and i don't think he did as well....Time will tell- again 2 months is too soon for me to get a "bf" . We are happy the way things are. If he is dating other people of course i care- just don't want to know about it- but as i said I have met all his best friends and he mine- which isn't common here in Spain where we live if you don't really like someone- Also went to his bday party with all his closest friends and i was his date so it says something i think. I messaged him late last night- he wrote back- i flat out asked him if he wanted to see me again and he said "of course, why wouldn't i"...I haven't wrote back yet... I want to write "well maybe because you disappeared for a week !" but don't want to come off as crazy/or if i care sooo much (but i do)....Dating is sooo confusing!

 

I am upset that he ignored my last messaged last week- i just don't know how to respond to "of course I do, why do you ask" playing it "cool"

 

You went "casual", and this is what "casual" is all about (no responsibilities). He is not at fault here. He's only doing what you've allowed him to treat you.

 

Yes, dating can be confusing if you go into it without a plan, and then want to change things mid-stream. If you don't like his cavalier attitude, then tell him that you want to be with someone who is more "into" you. And, since he isn't, then you'll need to move on.

 

Now, you'll find out how he really feels about you. If he comes back to you, then it would be best for you to have a plan (of what you're looking for) to discuss with him.