He's gone

[alli]

I don't know why I'm posting this. There is nothing anyone can say or do to fix this.

 

I met a guy about a year ago. We worked together and became good friends. We liked each other as more than friends but I pushed him away. I always thought I would eventually have a talk with him about why and we would find a new balance. The months went by; I got wrapped up in my own work. I thought he was happy, but he committed suicide. I just can't believe he is gone forever. There's so many things I wish I could say to him and now I'll never have the chance. I just don't understand why he did this. I wish I would have known. I wish he would have told me. I wish I could have stopped him. The day of his funeral was the hardest day of my life. I just can't believe his life is over and the things he will never get to do again.

 

If anyone reading this is considering suicide, please don't do it. Please reach out for help first. If it doesn't work out the first time, reach for help again. And again. Don't ever give up. You are greatly underestimating the impact of your life and your death on your family and friends. If you think no one cares, you're wrong. They love you more than you know. They will feel more pain than you know.

[Seraphim]

I am so so very sorry, Alli

[IAmFCA]

Im glad you posted. Someone is reading this, realizing she or he matters, including to people who haven't said anything at all.

 

I am very sorry for your loss.

[MasterPo]

I am sorry, I share your grief - it really, really sucks and hurts so bad. Be strong.

[Capricorn3]

I'm so sorry Alli. That's just so awful and so sad. ~hugs~

[Tinydance]

So sorry Ali, thank you so much for sharing. BIG HUGS I was thinking of suicide but I am now almost crying after reading your post because I know how much pain I would cause my loved ones if I did it.

[SooSad33]

" Please reach out for help first. If it doesn't work out the first time, reach for help again. And again. Don't ever give up. You are greatly underestimating the impact of your life and your death on your family and friends. If you think no one cares, you're wrong. They love you more than you know. They will feel more pain than you know."

- Am very sorry for your loss... but.. sadly, IF he was dealing with something like Depression.. it is VERY hard to explain how one feels while experiencing it.

When one has depression they are already VERY 'low'... so it can be so easy to just fall off the deep end.

I have been there more than once and have had those same feelings & idea's. And when in that' state of mind', nothing really matters anymore.. no matter what anyone says.. and yes, it is VERY sad

I will admit, the only thing keeping me around is my kids and my pets, whom I know ALL 'need me'. I will NOT leave them.

 

Depression is awful! Very hard to have anyone understand, especially when they've never had to deal with it....

 

Anyways.. my thoughts are with you today. I know how hard loss is, to deal with.

 

Take care of yourself...

[overthemoon86]

Alli, please accept my sincerest condolences. I am so sorry for your loss and the pain it has caused his friends and family. Mental illness is truly an illness that some chose to ignore because they do not understand it or cannot relate to it. I really feel that mental illness should be treated with importance just as an physical illness. If we can change the stigma around it, maybe more lives can be saved and more people would feel comfortable seeking help.

 

Again, I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you.