can1328 Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 Quick summary of my situation without many many details... Together 6 years, broke up last September, got back together around this time last year and stayed together until July 2015. We lived together for 2 years in a home we purchased together. I found out she left me for someone else. She's contacted me up until November sporadically. Once when she saw I was out with another girl via social media, some other times to "check in" etc. She sent me a nasty message when I didn't wish her a Happy Birthday saying "I'm so glad I'm not with you anymore." I didn't wish her a Happy Birthday because I didn't really want her to have one! Over the Christmas break my friends and I had a party that we have done for 13 years. She was part of it for all 6 we were together. My best friend posted a picture of him and I from that night and she 'liked' it. I laughed it off and said to myself "how juvenile" Still liking pictures of your ex. Well, that was Saturday. I was told she got engaged yesterday to the guy she left me for. A 6 month relationship with him.... And even if she was seeing him while still with me, she only met him in May at the earliest. So we will call it 8 months max. I was feeling good the past few weeks. Things were getting progressively better. This Holiday was an enjoyable one where I wasn't feeling down about her not being there. I was generally enjoying time spent with family and friends. So much so, she was in the back of my mind. Until right now. It's all I can think about. I spent 6 years with this girl. We shared a home, our families were close. We had a life together. And she's now engaged to a guy she's known for 6-8 months? I'm trying to make sense of this. I just can't. Link to comment
kbbcoop77 Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 Stop finding out what's she's up to you're doing great she has her life and you have yours. You have no idea if she's really happy but it doesn't matter at all you have ONE life don't waste any of it on an ex. Every day is a gift. Live your life for you! Link to comment
mhowe Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 Engagements such as those rarely make it to the alter. Link to comment
spiritx Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 i wouldnt look too deeply into it. if she was in contact with you just months ago - she seems terribly unstable to get engaged so soon (probably trying to latch onto something and anything) ... i predict engagement called off in a few months also it shouldnt matter to you, do your own thing man! Link to comment
Joanne1985 Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 My first boyfriend whom I was with for nine years got the girl he left me for pregnant a month later, it's five years later now and we actually work together once a week and it's fine. Time is the only answer. Link to comment
melancholy123 Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 Dont fret about her, concentrate on yourself. The odds of her engagement and marriage to the new guy are slim. Link to comment
can1328 Posted December 28, 2015 Author Share Posted December 28, 2015 I blocked her and haven't kept tabs on her whatsoever. She posted this on instagram and a few of my closest friends decided that my best friend should tell me. They didn't want me to find out by someone else I'm not close with or by accident. I'm happy they did this. I think it was the right move. I know it shouldn't matter to me anymore but it does. How can it not? A person I spent 6 years with up until this past July is engaged. It's an emotional feeling. But I'm going to pick myself up and go on as I have been. Unfortunately she is still paying me from money that she owes me. That's a whole other story of why i feel upset. I have no contact with her through the payment though. It's automatically paid but in very small increments. I'm sure her new fiance has no idea about this payment and why she owes me the money. She lives in a world of lies. I'm sure her true colors will come out soon enough. Link to comment
Tom1990 Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 I'm gonna tell you what I wish to God my friends told me after my previous ex dumped me. Please take it in the spirit intended. Together 6 years, broke up last September, got back together around this time last year and stayed together until July 2015. We lived together for 2 years in a home we purchased together. I found out she left me for someone else. She's contacted me up until November sporadically. She sounds crazy. Once when she saw I was out with another girl via social media, some other times to "check in" etc. Okay now I know she's crazy. She sent me a nasty message... My best friend posted a picture and she 'liked' it... she got engaged yesterday to the guy she left me for... A 6 month relationship with him...... Holy crap crazy on a stick with sprinkles. Block her *** and never look back. Link to comment
Movingforward3 Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 Hahaha. It's hard to divine understanding from ex behavior. Best just to block and move forward. It is her, not you. Link to comment
VioletExtract Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 I'm sorry, finding out about that must be really painful an kind of shocking. But yeah, by your description of her and the way she acted (sending you crazy texts because you didn't wish her a happy birthday when she's the one who left you for someone else?!? Come on!) I'm tempted to say that you dodged the bullet, there. Take care, and I hope you feel better, soon. Link to comment
No1 Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 Well, dont be upset, this is the best thing that can happen to you. You have your absolution and you no longer have to decode, worry, decipher, analyze or think about her moves. You dont have to worry about the motive behind her moves or think about it. You have your answer.. She is not coming back. The reasons why dont matter. Who cares? I know it hurts and it stings because its like how easily we were replaced. Well, the good thing is that you have room in your life for someone better. In the long run this is the best thing to happen to you. Dont worry about what is going on in her life. She is on a different path from yours. Link to comment
allibaidoo4 Posted December 30, 2015 Share Posted December 30, 2015 Lord that must be really painful. I feel really bad that you have to go through that. Link to comment
can1328 Posted December 31, 2015 Author Share Posted December 31, 2015 it's been a few days since I found out. It hasn't been easy. I know that this is what is expected to happen. It would probably bother me just the same whether it happened 6 months or 2 years after the breakup. Who knows. This New Year is not going to be the best but i need to put all this past me now. It's completely over. (Not that I wanted her back). Can't seem to get past the betrayal. Leaving me for someone else then getting engaged to that person. There's so many questions but I'm trying to make myself get over the fact that they'll never be answered. Link to comment
saluk Posted December 31, 2015 Share Posted December 31, 2015 Hmm... Philosophical question: isn't it better that they leave you for someone who they match with well enough to get married than to leave you for some random fling that doesn't go anywhere? I know it hurts you more. But at the end of the day it proves, in a way, that you weren't their person and respectively they weren't yours. I mean, the betrayal already proves that. Yeah yeah I know. We want to see them fail! Crash and burn! Die an old maid forever alone! But, objectively, this actually is the better outcome. Link to comment
allibaidoo4 Posted January 7, 2016 Share Posted January 7, 2016 Lol haha yeah we do want to see them fail and see them cry because at that point in time we are angry and we feel betrayed I kind of see where your coming but yet I still would be hurt for me I would think why wasn't I good enough for her to stay and allow me to propose to her and make her my wife. What is about me that wasn't worth her love? For me I would just take it really personal especially if I was a good partner and showed them unconditional love and they decided to move on and treat the next person better than they ever treated me , why did I have to be treated like crap and not that person? Its hard not to take a break up personal or the person moving on personal. Link to comment
allibaidoo4 Posted January 7, 2016 Share Posted January 7, 2016 aww don't think that way maybe you'll find your dream girl this year and end up getting engaged too Link to comment
LockdownNYC Posted January 7, 2016 Share Posted January 7, 2016 I was with my ex for 8, and now she's talking to a coworker who's marriage is on the rocks. Sometimes I feel like she'll get with him and be engaged too. I feel like it's my worst fear. Link to comment
Heartsonfire12 Posted January 7, 2016 Share Posted January 7, 2016 I agree with previous members who posted. This "engagement" likely won't end in a marriage. It's just too unstable. Keep living your life, and thank your lucky stars that the drama is behind you. I hope you feel better soon! Link to comment
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