Dating someone you don't even like

[Darksoul26]

I know this might be a silly question, but I've heard of people talking about how you should just settle for someone so you don't have to end up being alone. I've had guys interested in me and I really enjoy their company as friends, but I just dread having to have physical contact with them or see them all the time. Is this suppose to be how "settling" feels? I really don't want to end up alone for the rest of my life, but is it really worth it to date someone you dont even really like ?

[notalady]

Who says just settle for someone so you don't have to end up being alone? That's terrible advice.

 

The best way to end up alone is by getting into relationships that never stood a chance to start with, and that includes with someone you don't even like.

[Tinydance]

I don't think you should settle. In any case, I don't think people could ever settle with someone they "dread to have physical contact with". I suppose some people settle for people they don't necessarily love or are in love with, but just people they "like" or have some feelings for. I'm pretty sure not many people could be with someone they feel nothing for and can't bear to touch! How old are you if you don't mind me asking? Why are you so worried you'll end up alone? Have you been in relationships before?

[Liraele]

Who says just settle for someone so you don't have to end up being alone? That's terrible advice.

 

Agreed.

 

I'll add to this: if physical contact is a "must" on your list of relationship needs (and for most of us, it is), you can't "settle" with someone that makes you cringe when you think about them touching you. It'll just end badly.

[Darksoul26]

I don't think you should settle. In any case, I don't think people could ever settle with someone they "dread to have physical contact with". I suppose some people settle for people they don't necessarily love or are in love with, but just people they "like" or have some feelings for. I'm pretty sure not many people could be with someone they feel nothing for and can't bear to touch! How old are you if you don't mind me asking? Why are you so worried you'll end up alone? Have you been in relationships before?

 

I'm 26 and I guess because everyone around me is getting married already and I'm not even close to thar stage. I have had relationships before but they ended for various reasons

[electricorchid]

Don't settle for anything you don't want to. That's everyones fear is that If they'll end up alone. But think about this..

Would you rather have to "tolerate" someone you could never invest your heart in 80-100%.. Or be alone and keep doing your thing?

[melancholy123]

I grew up with no self esteem so the first guy that was serious about me swept me off my feet because I was vulnerable. I believed I'd never find anyone who'd ever want me, so I better hang onto this guy like grim death! How stupid was that? He wanted to get married so at 19 I married this guy. Talk about being doomed. I believed I could make it work, because he wanted me, and nobody else ever did. I overlooked many things about him that I didnt like, so that I would not be alone.

 

One day I woke up and realized what a screwed up situation I was in. I didnt even like this guy. I never loved him. He was a means to an end for me. I didnt intentionally use him but I saw him as a solution to not being alone for the next 60 or so years.

 

We fought a fair bit and one day I'd had enough and I left. We got divorced and I later married my current husband, we've been together for 30 years. It works because I do love him and he does love me and we respect each other. There was no settling involved with him.

 

So, no, you dont settle for anything in life, especially a partner!

[reinventmyself]

I am single but very far from lonely.

 

Matter of fact I am the busiest and more social when I am single then when I am not.

 

The loneliest times in my life have in the context of a bad relationship.

Never, ever settle.

[SoulTaker]

I know this might be a silly question, but I've heard of people talking about how you should just settle for someone so you don't have to end up being alone. I've had guys interested in me and I really enjoy their company as friends, but I just dread having to have physical contact with them or see them all the time. Is this suppose to be how "settling" feels? I really don't want to end up alone for the rest of my life, but is it really worth it to date someone you dont even really like ?

 

And who did you hear this from? Could it be from someone who is already in a "hapless marriage" and doesn't have the internal fortitude to get out of that depressing situation? As they say, "misery loves company".

[Dottieflanogon]

Settling is never good. Compromising can work. If you decide to give the person a chance and go on a few dates with them, nothing wrong with that. But if you have spent some time with them, and still aren't attracted to them-can't imagine kissing or sleeping with them happily, then it's best to not even entertain the thought of seeing them exclusively. You won't be happy if the person is someone you really don't want and have no genuine sexual interest in. Relationships take tons of work, and it'll feel like prison if you're doing all this work for someone you don't even care to have

[lilygirl]

I am single but very far from lonely.

 

Matter of fact I am the busiest and more social when I am single then when I am not.

 

The loneliest times in my life have in the context of a bad relationship.

Never, ever settle.

 

I agree 100%, I am single now too and the loneliest I have ever been was in a long, unhappy relationship. And don't settle, life is way too short, I settled for way too long and I have such regret that I did.