The no contact rule

[Khalil]

I was wondering if anyone thinks the no contact rule works? A lot of people are like "Oh yeah, totally do it!" but my ex is a pessimist and I'm afraid if I do not talk to her then she will just think I am no longer interested....but she doesnt talk to me a lot these days, she just reads my messages and will sometimes answer, but not all the time and it sometimes takes her 8-10 hours to respond if it isnt before bed.

I know I have posted about some relationship issues I have had with her, but I want people to know that when things between her and I were good, they were amazing and I have never felt this way about anyone before...I want to get her back but she seems very confused. She says she doesnt want to date me right now and keeps referring to me as her best friend when I cannot be her best friend right now because of all that has happened between her and I.

At this point its either we get back together or nothing.

[DoF]

Your mind and heart are tricking you.

 

You also fail to realize the point of No Contact. The point is to GET OVER THE PERSON AND FORGET THEM. Why are you concern about what she things or if she thinks you are no longer interested? That is NOT what NC is about. You want her to KNOW you are no longer interested and it's over.

 

And then you tell us that clearly you are NOT in the No Contact stage as you text her?

 

And you are "friends" with her? There is no friendships. She is no longer interasted in your, if I recall correctly she was abusive towards you......and I think you are completely blind and ignorant because YOU are the one that should be breaking up with her, not the other way around.

 

Tell her to never contact you again, Go No Contact (block her/ignore her) and get this person completely out of your life. Stop thinking about her and focus on YOURSELF.

 

It's going to hurt, it's going to be hard, but in time you will be just fine.

 

Give it 6 months and once done healing, come back here and read your posts. I guarantee you will be hitting your head against the wall and laughing at yourself for putting up with this woman for so long and for doing what you have been doing.

 

Not smart, not smart AT ALL. Sorry

 

Good luck

[Raoul]

If you use a period of 'no contact' mostly for you, it can be a good thing. It gives you time to get perspective on yourself and your relationship.

 

NC is not a device whereby you magically re-attract your ex by going silent and wait. It's a way to give you time for you to work on yourself - physically, mentally, emotionally, professionally, and, for some, spiritually.

 

It also gives both of you a chance to 'lower the temperature' of what's going on between you and time to remember what was good about the two of you together.

 

Ask yourself how much better things are getting with you continuing to push on what you want while ignoring what she may need - time without you in her face to think about things.

 

Your fear has nothing to do with her. It's all about you.

[Astrogirl]

I can only say it works for healing. I'm 70 days in and starting to feel a little better. It takes time.

[Starseed98]

Yes, absolutely! No contact worked for me.

 

7 whole months of no contact and I got to the point of indifference. Didn't and still don't feel a thing. My ex must have sensed that I didn't feel a thing because it was THEN he reached out.

 

Back in no contact because I discovered that even after 7 months, he never changed one iota.

 

I have more feelings for a gnat.

[Movingforward3]

Like previously. No contact can help reset the relationship and reduce emotions. But, it is there to help you heal and move on. You will find many get your girlfriend back sites say you should go no contact for 30 days. I will present the method to you for your consideration:

 

1. Go no contact for at least 3 weeks to 30 days. Ignore you ex girlfriend. No text, no social media, nothing!

2. Figure out why you broke up.

3. Change what you need to. Also, eat healthy, exercise, live your life, and have fun.

4. Reconnect with you ex after the period of time. Do not bring up relationship. Be the fun loving guy she fell for. Call her and have a conversation for a short time. Meet for lunch. Keep meeting and keep her wanting more. Then you can ask her out. You must treat this like a new relationship. The old one is done.

 

At the end of the day, your ex has to decide to let you back. Yes, there are things you can do, but you have to have consistent communication to get any where. And you must have extreme patience, as this will not be quick.

 

 

And ultimately you have to decide how much time and effort you want to give. It is a difficult path you choose. The best I came up with is to keep lines of communication open, live my life and have fun. She has to contact me, I did my best without begging and pleading . I am tired of banging my head against a wall. And I will be as always, moving forward

[Man with Dog]

It is hard, if not impossible to get over someone if you have any contact with them. Even indirect contact through mutual friends gives you a means to cling onto them. Apart from begging my ex to come back, I made just about all the mistakes possible.

[Doc Blaze]

I am going to give you the same advice I would give my friend.

Move on and don't look back you deserve better. Go no contact and

don't contact her again. She cheated on you. she isn't worth it.

There are many girls out there waiting to treat you better, you just have

to be open to moving on, healing and changing.

 

 

she cheated on you, then said you deserve better kind of pushing you away,

then she said she doesn't want to date you right now. You were down graded

. Don't be a doormat. start your healing.

[overthemoon86]

No contact is for your own good. You are broken up, there is no relationship, nothing to contact about. So don't do it.

[agent1607307371]

I was wondering if anyone thinks the no contact rule works?

 

No contact isn't about passive agressively getting your ex to want you back.

 

It's to give you space to get over them and move on.

[greta96]

Does it work to get your ex back? No, of course not.

Does it work to help you heal and move on? yes.

[jphcbpa]

The only thing harder than no contact is contact if you still have feelings.

[thejigsup]

You WANT her to think you are over her and are moving on. That will make her think. But really, once you break up, the relationship is truly broken and no amount of wishing, hoping, or game playing will change that. You broke up for a reason, and that won't change without a lot of work on both sides. Even then, it seldom works. Just move on, you will eventually be much happier.

[Dottieflanogon]

The no contact rule isn't necessarily there to bring them back. It's like that old saying, "Out of sight, out of mind." It's supposed to help you move on by not having this person around all of the time that you want to be with. It doesn't always work that way. Sometimes, the ex misses you when you pull no contact and tries to work things out and sometimes they don't. But as hard as it is, you can't just sit around and wait for them. If he's not going to come back, you've still got your whole life ahead of you. Try to use no contact to move on with your life instead using it to try to lure him back. Good luck to you.

[evam]

The thing is right after a break-up you use no contact wanting your ex to miss you but with time you use no contact for you to move on....and it feels great.

 

Will they miss you or contact you afterwards? Who knows? But I'm certain that at one point you might not give a ****.