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Everything posted by Astrogirl

  1. Unfortunately, the situation has only got worse from here. They've continued to verbally abuse me all day. My daughter, knowing she has the backing of my mother, tried to give me orders. I stood my ground and my daughter's temper went wild. She accused me of being a totally vile mother. She spewed out all of my long-ago mistakes (which my mother has told her), and is now threatening to ruin my career by telling people what a horrible person I am. This is all because I dared to stand up for myself. I feel their hatred towards me is getting mentally and emotionally dangerous.
  2. I'm so frustrated with my mother. I'm a grown woman with grown-up kids. All my kids are great, yet one is untidy. I've recently invested some money into my house. One of the items has been broken in my daughter's bedroom. I really am not happy. When I expressed my unhappiness about the broken item my daughter said it didn't matter. I obviously didn't agree--but my mother has! Straight away she stuck up for my daughter saying I was totally being dramatic. I don't see how. I have every right to be upset, even though I didn't scream or shout. So I now have a broken fixture to my house and my mother and daughter both telling me I am being dramatic. I tried to project it back and state how would they like it if I broke something of theirs? BANG! They both went nuts at such a suggestion and said I was definitely being dramatic! My mother then proceeded to go around my house calling me all the names under the sun and I honestly now feel I am in the wrong. I even shut myself in the living room but my mother stood outside the door screaming and shouting at me, and telling me just how horrible I am. Honestly. I am fed up with my mother's interfering. It's like she encourages my adult daughter to be irresponsible. And my daughter hasn't even apologised because my mother is allowing her to believe she hasn't done anything wrong. We all live in the same house, but not for long. I do plan on selling the house in a couple of years.
  3. Thank you. Yes, I'm very careful about what I post. It's just that now I'm suspecting certain "friends" more than those attempting to become online friends (although suggestions are closely linked to such "friends"). Thank you for your advice. 🙂
  4. Hey everyone, I'm just posting this for general advice and to see what everyone's take is on cyber-stalking/monitoring/social media friends order. Most of us are aware it exists to some degree, but is it possible for people we rarely-to-never interact with on social media to appear as our top online friends? I realise many social media platforms never disclose the analytics of who has viewed our profiles, but has anyone ever felt something suspicious was going on regarding the order of online friends? For instance, a person appears as the first online friend on the messaging app, but, even though they're on your friends list, you've never spoken to that person. When the people you do interact with appear online the first person still remains as the first online friend. Could it be they are viewing our profiles? This appears to happen even when the same person hasn't logged in for a while. What's more strange is the people this person hangs out with in real life all start to appear as top online friends (I am aware of this happening to a number of friends). The owner of the profile may have spoken the odd word to some of them but there's usually no interaction. I know online safety should be paramount, but often, in many cases, no bullying has taken place. It's often only brought to light when the profile owner notices a pattern of their closer friends' presence being sacrificed for lesser-known friends. Personally, my social media is set to the highest privacy but that doesn't prevent certain lesser-known friends appearing on my radar. Other people have experienced a similar pattern. The only alleged connection I can personally make is I did have a close bond with one in particular, but even then their friends never appeared as top friends. It is only since we've drifted apart that this patterned has emerged. Then there are the suggested friends prompts. Has anyone ever felt many of those suggestions may be regular viewers to our profiles, especially with them being mutual friends with the ones appearing as our prioritised online friends? just to add: I'm not making reference to the order of people in the side-chat bars, as that is self-explanatory. What are your thoughts on this? I've spoken to many people who are becoming increasingly suspicious their order of friends isn't a coincidence. Thanks for you help 🙂
  5. It is phone calls as well, as I explained above. I think I invested too much time in helping this man, when his intentions towards me are not as good. I feel I have learned a lesson and have decided to back away without becoming hostile or compromising my own good character.
  6. I totally take on board what you are saying. I've informed my closest to only access me through one means only, for the time being. Then I can get along with whatever interests me, and I no longer invest in negativity. Thank you for your advice. I
  7. I have decided to steer clear of social media as much as possible. I do have lots of interests I can get back to grips with. This man needed help, I gave it, and now I feel emotionally drained and perhaps used for something I never intended. I do appreciate all advice given, but please do not read I am investing in it because I am crushing on him. This man has a bit of a past, and not the type of man anyone would want to take home to meet their parents. All I did was invest in a friendship. Something feels very off now.
  8. I realise my actions may be aggravating the situation. I know I am not helping myself by becoming involved with someone who may have mental and emotional complications. I can tell you that my intentions for befriending him were all done out of good intentions. Please do not read into the fact I am enjoying it. Trust me: I enjoyed our friendship when things were normal. I can accept when people can't message. It is my instincts that are telling me he is now taking advantage of the friendship and playing me.
  9. Wiseman, I do find that a very unnecessary thing to say. We are working on our marriage and things are going good between us. My husband actually does know this person on a better scale than myself. He too wanted to take him in as a friend and pick him up off the ground. We both agree our friend has begun to act off and maybe got caught up with some bad people. While we wish to support him, we don't agree with his sudden strange moods. I am willing to continue being his friend, but I do feel he is playing games. This post is about a toxic friendship not my marriage.
  10. He doesn't swear. It's just his language has gone from classy to cheap and slang. Sorry if I can't explain it more. I don't speak like that myself so not sure what the terminology is for slang and street talk.
  11. We actually accepted this man's friendship as he has gone through bad experiences. That is why me and SO have taken this man on board. He really needed friends. At first, he did not know I was taken. Then he accepted it with grace and was respectful. Then overnight his attitude had changed. I don't think I've made it clear enough: my problem isn't him messaging me like he used to do. I am grown up enough to live without someone sending me messages. That isn't the problem. The problem is that when he doesn't message so I have no reason to message him, he then begins to bombard me and like my posts and photos. It's like he is playing games.
  12. He's gone from classy to tacky and slang words. My SO says we should back away.
  13. we became friends earlier this year. Yes, like a brother as in he confided in me and trusts me. I've never broken the trust. No, I do not have a crush on him. I just feel something is off. My SO also feels the same. He has also become off with my SO, like he doesn't react to him anymore if my SO posts photos.
  14. Andrina, In his defence he didn't know I was married. He seemed to accept that. My SO has also become his friend, and is aware of his behaviour.
  15. Batya33 and LikeWater: I hear what you say. It's not healthy for any of us. I do thinks he's playing and I've allowed it. I really liked him as a friend and considered him as a brother. I forgot to mention he evens calls me during early hours, on occasions. I do need take control of myself as this situation is weighing me down.
  16. greendots and Likewater: I did make it clear to him early on I was out of bounds. I can't say any other friends likes ALL of my photos, apart from a certain few I'm close to anyway. It's only recently my new friend has acted odd with me.
  17. But when I back off he bombards me with messages, often telling me how much he really likes me.
  18. LikeWater: There was a time when we equally used to message first. Then he stopped replying straight away, so I thought it best for me to back off and give him space. But when I do that, after a few days he's bombarding me with private messages. When he sends a message first or I reply, like I always do, he then ignores that message for a couple of days. That is my only reason now for not messaging first.
  19. Batya33: But, when I ignore him he bombards my inbox.
  20. Hi Holly, No, we have not met in person. We have had video calls, etc., and share a lot of friends. His bad behaviour is the way in which he know chooses to talk. Sometimes it is a bit 'street', if you get what I mean. He never did this before. It's like he's getting involved with a bad crowd, but not saying.
  21. Lambert: that's just the thing. He is not paying me less attention. In fact, he goes out of his way to get my attention if I so much as accept his ignoring. I'm just finding it all confusing and tiresome. I would be happy if he found himself a partner, to be fair. I do appreciate your advice, btw.
  22. Hi, I've recently formed a new friendship with a male friend. We have a few friends in common. We became friends on social media (I know, I know). Our friendship hit the ground running and it was as if we have known each other forever. He did cross boundaries, but backed off when I told him I am not available to date. Our friendship has grown from strength to strength, and I suppose, continues to. However, there's a little feeling something is starting to misfire. He's gone from messaging me morning and night, to sporadic messages, that, once messaged, I have a load of. His messages have also begun to changed from good man to bad man, i.e. showing true colours, even though he's still very pleasant and non-threatening at the same time. Once bitten I am, and I've got this odd feeling about him playing me, so I refrain from messaging first. It's almost as if I can feel a vibe from him waiting for me to break. So far, I never have. Sometimes he will leave it two or three days then suddenly he will message me, just to stay on my scene, I sense. It seems awful, but I feel like he is playing mind games, experiencing a personality change, and I am strongly picking up this vibe. Another one of his tricks, if I do not message him first, is to react to all of my social media photographs in one go. Today, he hasn't spoken privately, but has hearted a dozen of my recent photographs, consecutively (and within a minute), and written comments on them all. Please don't feel I am playing games back: when our friendship was 'normal' it didn't matter who messaged who first. Then he started to ignore my messages for a day or so, whilst liking my social media posts. I am beginning to feel he is a platonic emotional vampire. It's like he platonically love-bombed me, dropped me, and has made me feel wary of getting in too close a friendship bond. There just seems like something is off. Is he playing games? I can't think I feel this from any of my other male friends, but something is chewing away at me on this one. Any advice is appreciated. Just wondering if anyone has experienced an odd friendship like this that once seemed normal to increasing oddness.
  23. Thank you. I'm just experiencing a very weak moment.
  24. Because I don't even know if I have a marriage to stay in. I'm being stonewalled and I need strength to stay away. That is the point of my post.
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