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Raoul

Gold Member
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About Raoul

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    Gold Member
  • Birthday April 14

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  1. Using your current boyfriend as a safety net is wrong. If you want to pursue this new guy, end your current relationship first. Anything else is just you being selfish and trying to have it all at the same time.
  2. This is so important. When my marriage ended, I made the decision to do this. My 'logic' was that, if our kids could look back from their later 20s and see that I was there for them, was not bitter about what had happened and that I had been there for them, it would be worth it. Almost 8 years later, being true to that has been one of the best things I ever did. Addendum - There is nothing 'fair' about how your marriage is ending. And there is nothing you can do about that. Learn to live a life true to yourself and do the best for your kids that you can.
  3. If there has ever been anyone beneath (not worthy of even) your contempt, it is your wife's paramour. And many here have been in your situation. Ask yourself what has he 'won', what has he achieved? He has a woman that came to him via an affair and that may leave him the same way. He has broken a family. He is worthy of being scraped off of your shoe and nothing more. Snicker at him and his empty 'victory'. He is already broken for only broken people do these things.
  4. Walk now. Don't look back.
  5. Preserve all the messages before you talk with your wife. She will likely lie and 'gaslight' you. But this is not your imagination. Check out this website - survivinginfidelity.com
  6. You know what you know. There is no un-seeing this stuff or denying what's going on. If you cannot afford a counselor, maybe you know a minister in your community that can offer you pastoral counseling. Don't keep this stuff bottled up. It will eat you alive. You need to deal with and process a confusing range of emotions that are far beyond what can be offered here. You need to confront the situation which means confronting your wife. I regret what brought you here. But there are many good people here to lend an ear.
  7. "I am a nice guy that is popping my best friend's wife all but assuring that she, he and his family will, sooner or later, go through unimaginable heartache because 'she crossed my path and opened up to me'." Sure buddy, go with that. LOL
  8. When someone is saying ine thing and doing another thing, best pay attention to what they are doing rather than what they are saying.
  9. So get unmarried. Stop using your husband as training wheels and safety net. If you want to play the field while married, you are right. You do not deserve him.
  10. Why yes, yes it has. But I was the one being cheated on. It destroyed my family. While my three children are strong, resilient kids, they were put through a wringer so that my now ex-wife could pretend that they didn't need a mother or an intact home. But it's all about YOU, so who cares about significant others and children? You clearly don't. Neither does your cheating partner. Your self-entitlement is mind boggling.
  11. Having your life upended by infidelity and divorce is to say the least, disorienting. You are only going to get used to so much of it. It does start to get better. But you need to recognize that you are trying to get used to things that you don't want to get used to. And that takes time. All the things you mention are ways to manage the stress and roller coaster of emotions. Regular physical exercise and counseling are two things that went the furthest for me in helping me accommodate in the early going and contributed most to adapting to doing all those things that you really don't want t
  12. It means that you are always welcome to drop by and chat. There is nothing to interpret. Her words are clear. There is no hidden meaning in them.
  13. Just because you apologize for being a douche doesn't mean that your apology entitles you to anything at all. Maybe that worked with your mother.
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