mhowe Posted October 19, 2015 Share Posted October 19, 2015 Well, he broke up with you so now its settled. Link to comment
Redabc123 Posted October 19, 2015 Author Share Posted October 19, 2015 Well, he broke up with you so now its settled. I asked if we were broken up and he said he didn't know.... And I'm looking for advice on how to handle to situation Link to comment
mhowe Posted October 19, 2015 Share Posted October 19, 2015 There's nothing to be done. Are we breaking up isn't a "I don't know" kind of question. It really is yes/no. And that wasn't a "no". He isn't ready for a relationship, Link to comment
Redabc123 Posted October 19, 2015 Author Share Posted October 19, 2015 I feels really awkward it feels like a break up but I don't want to wait until he feels like he is ready to talk either I know he is going through a lot but I don't know what I should do. His exact words were " I don't k know what we're are, But I have to focus for me.I told him if give him his space was the right thing to do? We are friends on social media and I think it's hurting me more than helping me as well Link to comment
notalady Posted October 19, 2015 Share Posted October 19, 2015 What you do is you tell him "ok then, for all intents and purposes, I consider us broken up". Why are you waiting for him to make all the decisions? You know you can make decisions for yourself right? He doesn't want a relationship with you right now, "I don't know" is not a good enough answer. I'd end it so that things are clear and dry, no ambiguity. I also won't stick around waiting for a guy to come around from this episode. It's quite disrespectful and selfish of him to put you in limbo because he's got s**t going on. Either keep dating you or do the right thing and end things, but he doesn't want to do either, so he keeps you hanging. Link to comment
Redabc123 Posted October 19, 2015 Author Share Posted October 19, 2015 What you do is you tell him "ok then, for all intents and purposes, I consider us broken up". Why are you waiting for him to make all the decisions? You know you can make decisions for yourself right? He doesn't want a relationship with you right now, "I don't know" is not a good enough answer. I'd end it so that things are clear and dry, no ambiguity. I also won't stick around waiting for a guy to come around from this episode. It's quite disrespectful and selfish of him to put you in limbo because he's got s**t going on. Either keep dating you or do the right thing and end things, but he doesn't want to do either, so he keeps you hanging. Thank you for this... I feel stupid to even contact him again... I feel even more stupid for allowing this to go this Lomb I rally thought it would get better. I was thinking I would delete him from social media and pack up his clothes that he left at my place. He has a key to my apartment so is like it back but again I don't know how to qpproch it... Am I doing the right thing? I don't even feel like he is in love with me as he stated his behavior is really disappointing Link to comment
notalady Posted October 19, 2015 Share Posted October 19, 2015 Stop thinking about what he wants (eg if he's in love with you, which he clearly isn't), and focus on you. What will make you feel better is that you take back control of your own life and make up your own mind about what you want to do, not what he wants to do. Just contact him (in whatever way you feel comfortable) and tell him something along the lines of "I'm sorry you're having a hard time in life, but this relationship, as it is, is not working for me. So I think this is it for me. Wish you best of luck with things you're going through. I'd also like to return your things and get my key back, let's arrange for that". Link to comment
Redabc123 Posted October 19, 2015 Author Share Posted October 19, 2015 Stop thinking about what he wants (eg if he's in love with you, which he clearly isn't), and focus on you. What will make you feel better is that you take back control of your own life and make up your own mind about what you want to do, not what he wants to do. Just contact him (in whatever way you feel comfortable) and tell him something along the lines of "I'm sorry you're having a hard time in life, but this relationship, as it is, is not working for me. So I think this is it for me. Wish you best of luck with things you're going through. I'd also like to return your things and get my key back, let's arrange for that". I know I need to send this but I don't know what's holding me back... Your right this is about what I want and I feel like I'm just settling... I guess I'm scared of the what if.. What if he really does want to be with me and it's hard for him to deal with his issues and have a relationship or if I do give him this space and he comes back... Is it silly for me to think this way? Link to comment
Batya33 Posted October 19, 2015 Share Posted October 19, 2015 If he wanted to make sure his special lady would wait for him during a short, tough time in which he needed space you would not be questioning this at all because he would have made it very clear that this was not about you, that he wanted to be with you, and that he would be in touch in a very short time -and he'd probably even tell you when that would be. Please do not "wait" -don't you want to get married someday? Mr. Right could be somewhere doing a fun activity that you could be doing, or he might be a friend of a friend and your friend might just be waiting to hear you say the word. ETc. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted October 20, 2015 Share Posted October 20, 2015 Unfortunately, I think you are the last to know this relationship is over. I think he's shown you in words and actions he is just not that into you. Unfortunately, it sounds like you are still holding on to nothing. Link to comment
groundpepper Posted October 21, 2015 Share Posted October 21, 2015 A sweet gesture from you will probably be just what he needs. As a businessman, he probably is embarassed and wants to handle his business in private. Entrepreneurs have a lot of pride. Give him some space. He might really need it right now. ...since you did just start dating though, he could be the kind of guy that doesn't know how to break up and so he tries to cut communication off and let the relationship fade... Sent from my SM-G900V using Tapatalk Link to comment
groundpepper Posted October 21, 2015 Share Posted October 21, 2015 I asked him if he wanted out and he told me no. I asked him in person. He said he was just going through a lot and had a lot on his mind. I have seen him twice because he has either been sick or working. If he is telling me he doesn't want to break up then shouldn't I take his word for it? He may just not want to hurt you and isn't good at breakups. Sent from my SM-G900V using Tapatalk Link to comment
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