Rosti87 Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 Wow, 32, I missed that. Looking at her actions she sure sounds 18. Not everyone is emotionally age appropriate. Not saying that is right or wrong. But it can be a reality. We are assuming because of her age that she has dated a lot. Unless the OP indicates otherwise we can't assume that she has had a lot of dating experience. Link to comment
localvet Posted September 9, 2015 Author Share Posted September 9, 2015 Not everyone is emotionally age appropriate. Not saying that is right or wrong. But it can be a reality. We are assuming because of her age that she has dated a lot. Unless the OP indicates otherwise we can't assume that she has had a lot of dating experience. No she has not dated much. In fact she told me that THIS is her longest relationship. YES RED FLAG!!!! Update, also she mentioned the word "breakup" I said that we are not in a relationship yet so we would just stop...she then indicated that we are...doh!!! So she is freaking out and sad and putting herself through hell right now. I am not, I am keeping a bit of distance and letting her work it out, and kind of distancing myself. Because this is insane, but she has no experience to see that. I am sure she will come to the conclusion that we wont work, if she doesn't I will. Link to comment
Rosti87 Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 No she has not dated much. In fact she told me that THIS is her longest relationship. YES RED FLAG!!!! Update, also she mentioned the word "breakup" I said that we are not in a relationship yet so we would just stop...she then indicated that we are...doh!!! So she is freaking out and sad and putting herself through hell right now. I am not, I am keeping a bit of distance and letting her work it out, and kind of distancing myself. Because this is insane, but she has no experience to see that. I am sure she will come to the conclusion that we wont work, if she doesn't I will. Her inexperience says a lot. God speed localyet. She may not be in your league when it comes to relationships. I wish you luck. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 Seriously, run like hell. Link to comment
localvet Posted September 9, 2015 Author Share Posted September 9, 2015 Seriously, run like hell. May seem silly, but can you break it down for me like I am a dummy? Just had a conversation with her and she believes EVERYTHING the bible says to do she must do it. She wants me to understand why..I said that's silly. As long as I respect it that is all that should matter. She claims that is the reason people get divorced, they have fundamental differences in their beliefs about how they interpret the bible. Also...as I write that I ask myself...WHY THE HELL AM I TRYING TO FIX THIS!!!??? So ...ha ha. thoughts. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 May seem silly, but can you break it down for me like I am a dummy? Just had a conversation with her and she believes EVERYTHING the bible says to do she must do it. She wants me to understand why..I said that's silly. As long as I respect it that is all that should matter. She claims that is the reason people get divorced, they have fundamental differences in their beliefs about how they interpret the bible. Also...as I write that I ask myself...WHY THE HELL AM I TRYING TO FIX THIS!!!??? So ...ha ha. thoughts. Why is she discussing babies and marriage after 6 weeks??? That's NUTS. Link to comment
Rosti87 Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 May seem silly, but can you break it down for me like I am a dummy? Just had a conversation with her and she believes EVERYTHING the bible says to do she must do it. She wants me to understand why..I said that's silly. As long as I respect it that is all that should matter. She claims that is the reason people get divorced, they have fundamental differences in their beliefs about how they interpret the bible. Also...as I write that I ask myself...WHY THE HELL AM I TRYING TO FIX THIS!!!??? So ...ha ha. thoughts. Unless you literally believe what she just said you are NOT going to get along. Move on... Link to comment
notalady Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 Unless you literally believe what she just said you are NOT going to get along. Move on... Yep indeed. Agree with this. Link to comment
browneyedgirl36 Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 May seem silly, but can you break it down for me like I am a dummy? Just had a conversation with her and she believes EVERYTHING the bible says to do she must do it. She wants me to understand why..I said that's silly. As long as I respect it that is all that should matter. She claims that is the reason people get divorced, they have fundamental differences in their beliefs about how they interpret the bible. Also...as I write that I ask myself...WHY THE HELL AM I TRYING TO FIX THIS!!!??? So ...ha ha. thoughts. Oh dear...well.... She's talking about marriage and babies after six weeks; She's an Adventist and you're a Catholic (BIG differences there, and religion is often a dealbreaker); This is her longest relationship (!) and it's not even really a relationship yet; She's freaking out and making herself all anxious about this situation and you barely know each other; She believes everything the Bible says, which in itself is not a red flag BUT...if you don't believe it, that's a HUGE compatibility issue as it sounds as though her religion is VERY important to her. Are you familiar with the Adventists and what they believe? It might be a good idea to do a bit of research on that if you don't know much about them. This just seems like too many red flags/incompatibilities for a healthy relationship already, and if it's this difficult after only six weeks -- and if she's already freaking out about things this early -- it doesn't look promising at all. Sorry. Link to comment
browneyedgirl36 Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 Unless you literally believe what she just said you are NOT going to get along. Move on... Yep. And I would add that I too wonder why you want to fix this....way, way too many issues too early on. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 I think she's looking for a sugar daddy... Link to comment
Rosti87 Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 I think she's looking for a sugar daddy... Yeah I forgot he is in his 40s. Possibility, but I still think she has a very simplified view of relationships and marriage. And she wants to get there as straightforward as possible. Link to comment
lostandhurt Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 This is a very tricky situation because your beliefs are not as strict as hers. She sounds very devout and you aren't, how is that fixable? Simply respecting her right to believe what she wants will not be good enough for her. Some times it just can't work. Lost Link to comment
localvet Posted September 10, 2015 Author Share Posted September 10, 2015 This is a very tricky situation because your beliefs are not as strict as hers. She sounds very devout and you aren't, how is that fixable? Simply respecting her right to believe what she wants will not be good enough for her. Some times it just can't work. Lost Yep. We talked..it's over. My anxiety left as soon as the end was clearly in sight. Link to comment
lostandhurt Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 It is to bad it couldn't work. It is for the best though, she needs someone more inline with her strict interpretations. Nothing wrong with the way she believes it just wasn't for you. Lesson learned for the next time right? I am sorry, I know you had hopes that it would work. Lost Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 Yep. We talked..it's over. My anxiety left as soon as the end was clearly in sight. It's definitely for the best. MAJOR incompatibility. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 It is for the best. Endings always hurt but it opens us up to new beginnings. Link to comment
Rosti87 Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 OP, Hang in there. Better to know now than further down the line. Link to comment
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