localvet Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 I am not sure I wrote about this yet. So this gal I have been dating, no sex, for almost a month and a half. Text or talk all day everyday. We see each other at least 5 days a week. Getting along great, but she wanted to go real slow, wanted to be sure she is not on a rebound. I never have taken this long and I am beginning to feel stupid. I know a lot of you date casually for months before deciding you are both exclusive and a couple, I don't take this long. I am not sure if I am off here or if she is. Yes it has been 5 weeks, but we have spent a lot of time together, average date is 5 hours! Seems like I need to ask her to either commit or end this dance. I am feeling frustrated and that makes me want to end it, but I may be just acting out of frustration. I feel like this could go on for months, and then that is no guarantee either that we will settle. Blah! I need input. Link to comment
Rosti87 Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 You have your pace and she has hers. If you don't like her pace then express it to her. If she still disagree then move on. It is still early days. Not like you have been investing a half a year on her. Sometimes people have to accept people the way they are not the way we want them to be. Link to comment
j.man Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 She told you she wanted to go real slow. You knew what you were getting into. Don't present it as an ultimatum. Simply tell her you'd like to be exclusive. If she says no, then you move on. While I typically hold off for much longer before I go around parading a relationship or throwing out the "L" word, 5-6 weeks is about the time I need to figure out if I want to give it a shot with a woman exclusively. I think it's a perfectly reasonable request at this point. Just don't be surprised if she ends up holding true to what she'd said originally. Link to comment
Baily Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 labels cause problems and boundaries...just enjoy what IS...don't worry about naming it or anything else. Just have fun! Link to comment
localvet Posted September 4, 2015 Author Share Posted September 4, 2015 She told you she wanted to go real slow. You knew what you were getting into. Don't present it as an ultimatum. Simply tell her you'd like to be exclusive. If she says no, then you move on. While I typically hold off for much longer before I go around parading a relationship or throwing out the "L" word, 5-6 weeks is about the time I need to figure out if I want to give it a shot with a woman exclusively. I think it's a perfectly reasonable request at this point. Just don't be surprised if she ends up holding true to what she'd said originally. I was hoping you would chime in! You always give excellent input, taking into consideration where I am and how you see it. Groovy! Link to comment
Dottieflanogon Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 How old are you guys? She could be holding out for someone else to come along Or she could just be trying to take things slow. If I was you I would pull back a little bit and just let the relationship run its course. Don't try to define it again. Meet up with her, have fun, go home. For whatever reason she isn't ready to get super serious. Only time will tell what her real intentions are. Link to comment
nutbrownhare Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 If she's seeing you five days a week, for long dates, texting all day and you're getting on great - it's safe to say she's really into you! There are no rights or wrongs here... I personally think it takes three months before you really know whether you've got the beginnings of a relationship or not, because up until that point you're so starry-eyed and infatuated it's impossible to see the other person. It just sounds as though she wants to be sure she REALLY means it. I wouldn't try to force the issue of commitment. You're already exclusive - heck, it would be just about impossible for either of you to see anyone else simply because of the number of hours in the day. Rather than waiting for words, look at how someone treats you and behaves around you - that's what you really need to know about! Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 If she's seeing you five days a week, for long dates, texting all day ... That doesn't seem like taking anything slow to me. That seems very fast. Link to comment
localvet Posted September 5, 2015 Author Share Posted September 5, 2015 That doesn't seem like taking anything slow to me. That seems very fast. Good point. I am 42 she is32. She wants to go slow on being intimate,declaring we are bf and gf and seeing each other everyday and etc... Problem is that while I get it, go slow, I cant help but feel reje ted a bit. I am offering my self to her and she isnt takung it. Makes me think crazy stuff. This could be me and my issue, i don't know...thats why i am here,, to see what you guys think. Link to comment
Patrick974 Posted September 5, 2015 Share Posted September 5, 2015 No offence, but this could have been included in your yesterdays thread. As we are talking about the same person. Taking it slow isnt wrong. I dont throw the L Word before months. And can do without sex for some time. I dont mind at all. Link to comment
localvet Posted September 5, 2015 Author Share Posted September 5, 2015 No offence, but this could have been included in your yesterdays thread. As we are talking about the same person. Taking it slow isnt wrong. I dont throw the L Word before months. And can do without sex for some time. I dont mind at all. Ha HA HAAHA that was funny, yeah you are right. Link to comment
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