timing on when she introduces me...

[localvet]

So if you read my previous threads you will see I was in a crazy relationship where I was a dirty secret for over 7 months.

 

So I always try not to make a new person pay for the sins of the old, but that is a very hard urge to fight. So me and this new gal are doing well, just been a month and about 12 dates in. I am not ready to introduce her to my family and have dinner etc, but if we bump into them I would introduce and etc..

When I pick her up, she lives with her sister and brother in law, she always meets me outside and never in front of her house. Her family has seen me and we exchanged waves and hellos. Now I AM NOT saying I want to meet them NOW! But I have past anxiety creeping in telling me she wants to hide me. I am sure that is my internal crazy and not her. She is, most likely, being safe and sure and going slow. However I am very scarred I will allow myself to fall in that trap again. So, at what point could I safely say, to myself, this has been long enough. For instance, at 7 months and no one knowing I existed...that was BS! However, I did let that happen so...

 

I know there is no set time frame and it depends on comfort etc, but there is an obvious window for when I should be concerned. I would like to hear what you all think that is.

[mhowe]

I would say at 3 months. But you can ask before then why she doesn't want you to come up and ring the bell.

[TMifune]

I think it depends on the person. People have all kinds of different relationships with their parents. Some are really locked into feeling shamed and judged by their parents. These people are more hesitant to introduce you to family in that way. At that point it's definitely more about them than you.

 

I'd try not to worry too much about when it happens, but more if there are really easy and organic opportunities for it to happen and she makes excuses for you not to be involved, that's when I'd start to be concerned.

[ThatwasThen]

I think as soon as you're ready to be sexually intimate you should be asking for exclusivity. Once that's agreed to and established then you know you're both on the same page and introduction to family/friends can follow. First you have to make sure you're both on the same page.

[missmarple]

I would only introduce someone I am in a relationship with.

[Helpexpressme]

I would tell people I run into that she is my friend. Then when we are partners I'd say she is my g/friend.

[DoF]

OP, you are doing it wrong. Rather then thinking "she is hiding me", you should be thinking "what is she hiding FROM me"

 

 

 

Find out what that is......

[snf23]

I would also say depends on the person and the relationship. I've been with my boyfriend for two months now (exclusive for about one) and he has met my friends, I've met his, but we haven't introduced to family and neither of us is ready. I think I'll be comfortable probably in about a month, but not sure for him because he is a different culture and introducing a bf/gf to family is super serious for him. However both of our sets of parents know that we are in relationships.. Don't rush it but trust your gut when you start to feel uncomfortable.

[HeartGoesOn]

I find it extremely concerning as to why "she always meets you outside, and never in front of her house." It makes you wonder if someone else is in the picture...

[TMifune]

I find it extremely concerning as to why "she always meets you outside, and never in front of her house." It makes you wonder if someone else is in the picture...

 

Whoa, how'd I miss that? That's exactly the kind of easy, organic meeting I'd be concerned about if she was actively avoiding.