Hermes Posted August 18, 2015 Share Posted August 18, 2015 Not quite with you there, TWT. However, and I am good at reading people in 3D (sometimes harder on here lol) I'd know without a single word being spoken.... That said any man who'd have three or four "meetings" (let's not call them dates) per week with me, and would be as insistent, well I know it wouldn't be my brilliant conversation on the state of the nation that was interesting him! Link to comment
Naomi99 Posted August 18, 2015 Author Share Posted August 18, 2015 How do you know that he hasn't talked to her and told her that he doesn't want to be your boyfriend? Oh, she would tell me that right away. I have zero doubt about that. Link to comment
browneyedgirl36 Posted August 18, 2015 Share Posted August 18, 2015 How did you know that these "friends" (4 year friend for Naomi) wanted to date you, Brown? Because they told me, or kissed me (or tried to), or made some kinds of moves on me physically. There was always a clear indicator. I mean, my platonic friends don't ask me questions like, "So...do you want to date me?" or try to put their tongues down my throat. Granted, Naomi's guy hasn't done this. I could be wrong about him, but....I dunno. I just feel pretty strongly that even though he hasn't said anything yet, he's interested. If it turns out that he's just looking for a platonic hang-out buddy, I will be surprised, but...I guess you never know! Link to comment
browneyedgirl36 Posted August 18, 2015 Share Posted August 18, 2015 Not quite with you there, TWT. However, and I am good at reading people in 3D (sometimes harder on here lol) I'd know without a single word being spoken.... That said any man who'd have three or four "meetings" (let's not call them dates) per week with me, and would be as insistent, well I know it wouldn't be my brilliant conversation on the state of the nation that was interesting him! This is how I feel, too. Dangit! I wish we could observe this guy in action, Hermes, because if I could see him interacting with Naomi in person, I'd be able to tell for sure. Link to comment
Naomi99 Posted August 18, 2015 Author Share Posted August 18, 2015 Because they told me, or kissed me (or tried to), or made some kinds of moves on me physically. There was always a clear indicator. I mean, my platonic friends don't ask me questions like, "So...do you want to date me?" or try to put their tongues down my throat. Granted, Naomi's guy hasn't done this. I could be wrong about him, but....I dunno. I just feel pretty strongly that even though he hasn't said anything yet, he's interested. If it turns out that he's just looking for a platonic hang-out buddy, I will be surprised, but...I guess you never know! How long did you guys hang out before the guy made some type of physical move on you? No, this guy hasn't tried anything physical with me. Link to comment
tiredofvampires Posted August 18, 2015 Share Posted August 18, 2015 No you cannot deduce that from the simple fact that the friend does not know that one fact. Gah! Well, that "simple fact" is quite revealing, and in general, more information = more accurate assessment. Anyway, there is post #345 to indicate how that one simple fact is a microcosm of a larger picture of Naomi's friendship with that woman. I think in the spirit of not assuming, we also cannot assume that a real time, real life friend is getting a more accurate impression of what's going on here. It wouldn't be the first time ENA knew a lot more about a person's inner drama than someone as close to them as say, a spouse. Link to comment
browneyedgirl36 Posted August 18, 2015 Share Posted August 18, 2015 How long did you guys hang out before the guy made some type of physical move on you? No, this guy hasn't tried anything physical with me. Usually it happened pretty early on. I've always felt like I knew a guy's intentions pretty early -- at least whether or not he just wanted a friend or he wanted to sleep with me -- that distinction has always been clear to me. I think maybe this guy, if he really IS interested in more, might be afraid of wrecking the friendship, so he's treading lightly (relatively speaking, anyway). Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted August 18, 2015 Share Posted August 18, 2015 Well, that "simple fact" is quite revealing, and in general, more information = more accurate assessment. Anyway, there is post #345 to indicate how that one simple fact is microcosm of a larger picture of Naomi's friendship with that woman. I think in the spirit of not assuming, we also cannot assume that a real time, real life friend is getting a more accurate impression of what's going on here. It wouldn't be the first time ENA knew a lot more about a person's inner drama than someone as close to them as say, a spouse.You forget that we only have all of Naomi's posts. We have nothing on Doc2 from the horses mouth. We cannot assume a thing, you are right. I'm not assuming that Doc2 wants more then friendship until he actually tells Naomi (preferably) or the mutual friend knows more about what the doc wants then what she's telling N. Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted August 18, 2015 Share Posted August 18, 2015 Usually it happened pretty early on. I've always felt like I knew a guy's intentions pretty early -- at least whether or not he just wanted a friend or he wanted to sleep with me -- that distinction has always been clear to me. I think maybe this guy, if he really IS interested in more, might be afraid of wrecking the friendship, so he's treading lightly (relatively speaking, anyway).This could very well be... or not? lol Link to comment
Naomi99 Posted August 18, 2015 Author Share Posted August 18, 2015 Well, that "simple fact" is quite revealing, and in general, more information = more accurate assessment. Anyway, there is post #345 to indicate how that one simple fact is microcosm of a larger picture of Naomi's friendship with that woman. I think in the spirit of not assuming, we also cannot assume that a real time, real life friend is getting a more accurate impression of what's going on here. It wouldn't be the first time ENA knew a lot more about a person's inner drama than someone as close to them as say, a spouse. It is safe to assume you girls here know more than she does. She knows who he and I are as people, seen our dynamics. I don't tell her a whole lot because I don't want to talk badly about him. She has noticed we've been spending time together, but she's of the same opinion I was at the time. He needed someone to accompany him, and I having left the doctor was in poor spirits and available to go. Go and have fun. She also mentioned to me jesus christ have you noticed how much weight he's gained, FYI. Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted August 18, 2015 Share Posted August 18, 2015 It is safe to assume you girls here know more than she does. She knows who he and I are as people, seen our dynamics. I don't tell her a whole lot because I don't want to talk badly about him. She has noticed we've been spending time together, but she's of the same opinion I was at the time. He needed someone to accompany him, and I having left the doctor was in poor spirits and available to go. Go and have fun. She also mentioned to me jesus christ have you noticed how much weight he's gained, FYI. It's all that restaurant food. Lol If you do anything, as his friend, stop accompanying him to places that serve rich, fattening food. Link to comment
Hermes Posted August 18, 2015 Share Posted August 18, 2015 LOL. Or both Browneyes... "I've always felt like I knew a guy's intentions pretty early -- at least whether or not he just wanted a friend or he wanted to sleep with me -- that distinction has always been clear to me" It's sort of (hard to define) that look...a very very patient tiger, but waiting to pounce... heh heh And me, being a sweet p.... er feline (geeze I nearly said that word again) with attitude, also giving that "look" as in back off big cat. Link to comment
browneyedgirl36 Posted August 18, 2015 Share Posted August 18, 2015 This could very well be... or not? lol I know -- we have NO idea! What we need to do is get him on this site. Then we can grill him to death about his intentions. Link to comment
tiredofvampires Posted August 18, 2015 Share Posted August 18, 2015 If I told a gf that a man who has been spending time with me wants me to go to Europe with him and her answer was, "Go have fun. He's lonely. YOU GUYS AREN'T DOING ANYTHING," I'd be alarmed about her judgment and how small of a pinch of salt to take her input. Of course, if I'm heavily censoring what I tell her, it's not her fault and therefore I'm not getting reliable data based on my own accounts. We can talk all day about not making assumptions, but at the end of the day the strong probabilities here strongly recommend action, as I was suggesting. We don't have the opportunity to be a fly on the wall or get him on ENA. And I do think ruining the friendship (and losing you entirely) could be part of his hesitation, yes. Link to comment
Naomi99 Posted August 18, 2015 Author Share Posted August 18, 2015 It's all that restaurant food. Lol If you do anything, as his friend, stop accompanying him to places that serve rich, fattening food. I should gift him a bag of pumpkin seeds and earl grey tea. Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted August 18, 2015 Share Posted August 18, 2015 Poor Naomi... always the one to have to "take action." Either by being the first to speak up for what she really wants or speak up for what others really want. To step up her invitations or to be the one to cut them back. *sighs* Link to comment
Naomi99 Posted August 18, 2015 Author Share Posted August 18, 2015 Poor Naomi... always the one to have to "take action." Either by being the first to speak up for what she really wants or speak up for what others really want. To step up her invitations or to be the one to cut them back. *sighs* HAHHAHAHAH!! I can handle it, I think. It's an opportunity to learn. I think the problem is I lack intuition therefore getting myself into these pickles. Link to comment
tiredofvampires Posted August 18, 2015 Share Posted August 18, 2015 Poor Naomi... always the one to have to "take action." Either by being the first to speak up for what she really wants or speak up for what others really want. To step up her invitations or to be the one to cut them back. *sighs* I'm not sure if you're being a bit facetious?....but everyone in this world is tasked with having to assert what is important to them and what they need. It's not just Naomi's burden. And poor/passive communication skills with others who have poor/passive communication skills is rampant, so the task of getting better at "taking action" on the communication front is for everyone. This is LIFE. Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted August 18, 2015 Share Posted August 18, 2015 I'm not sure if you're being a bit facetious?....but everyone in this world is tasked with having to assert what is important to them and what they need. It's not just Naomi's burden. This is LIFE.Exactly my point as to why, if Doc2 wants more then platonic he should have the ballzzz to ask for it. After 4 years of knowing her and hanging out with her, he should step up by now or bugger off and get to a stage of more indifference to his romantic feelings (if there even are any). Link to comment
Naomi99 Posted August 18, 2015 Author Share Posted August 18, 2015 Cuz I'm here posting, not doc2. Link to comment
tiredofvampires Posted August 18, 2015 Share Posted August 18, 2015 Exactly my point as to why, if Doc2 wants more then platonic he should have the ballzzz to ask for it. After 4 years of knowing her and hanging out with her, he should step up by now or bugger off and get to a stage of more indifference to his romantic feelings (if there even are any). (I edited to add to that last post, btw.) Well, I don't see this as any one person's responsibility more than the other. It's a shared responsibility, and each person is tasked with their own end of it. Link to comment
Naomi99 Posted August 18, 2015 Author Share Posted August 18, 2015 I've thought about what I might say to him and am at a loss because it doesn't "feel" right to do it; not the same way I felt ready to with Doc1. I don't think I"m going to say anything to him until the situation presents itself. Any "talk" I initiate without hardcore evidence of his feelings seems presumptuous and assuming. "We've been spending a lot of time together and I hope you don't get the wrong idea, but I am not interested in anything more blah blah…." seems kind of narcissistic, aggressive, and putting cart before the horse. However if he tries anything physical like shoving his tongue down my throat or whispering sweet dainties in my ear, then I might say something because that will be my cue. For now the plan is to lessen contact, keep it platonic, and be mindful of his feelings when presented with gifts. Unless there's a more effective way I'm not seeing. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted August 18, 2015 Share Posted August 18, 2015 He's giving you GIFTS? No platonic male friend of mine has ever given me gifts, except ln my birthday. Link to comment
Naomi99 Posted August 18, 2015 Author Share Posted August 18, 2015 I meant the seats, the drinks, etc. Link to comment
Hermes Posted August 18, 2015 Share Posted August 18, 2015 LOL Bolt. The engagement ring is on its way...... And Venezia beckons........ Link to comment
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