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Out with the old, in with the now


IAmFCA

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I understand. I think he said many sweet words about his interest in committing to you. I think much of the time his actions did not match his words. Sure, if he tells you he has changed his mind and discusses what he will do to act consistent with his change of heart then you give him a chance to act consistently with that significant change. If I thought you were very interested in seeing if that could happen I would suggest not letting him get the benefit of chatting with you whenever he feels like it - he has to experience life completely without you. But it sounds like you're moving on to bigger and better things, and to good health -so that sounds perfectly lovely.

 

p.s. on the bringing cookies to a date thing -one time I brought the guy a half dozen cookies on a second date (it was holiday time) -he jokingly asked why only 6 and I replied that I didn't want to give the impression that I was easy.

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p.s. on the bringing cookies to a date thing -one time I brought the guy a half dozen cookies on a second date (it was holiday time) -he jokingly asked why only 6 and I replied that I didn't want to give the impression that I was easy.

 

Best line ever, Batya!

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Date #2 tomorrow with LLCoolJ (from the other night). I like how he asked me. Date Sunday afternoon with new guy, who hasn't yet earned a nickname.

 

Whole gaggle of children at my house right now. I am dying inside with secret laughter while they sing camp songs in rounds and crack each other up.

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Of late, various comments reflect my energy:

 

"Maybe you're the expert"

"I can tell you feel a new lease on life"

 

As does my day... three full dishwashers in two days, fed four kids, all to activities, errands in between including some that have been hanging about.

 

And a recent suggestion that I head up a seminar- that I designed- and publish an article...

 

I think I have accepted that I am this person who is actually living this life. Ok.

 

I envision myself as QBert, or Frogger. Leap leap leap...

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Just for the record. Fellow from date #2 is working towards setting up date #3, some time from now due to schedules. Of course I am playing through. I may not ever go on it, or I might, I will know when I know. For now, I am struggling with calendar basics. I am glad for the time to pass before I have to make the call.

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Update on the Now, even as the That was Then is texting my phone...

 

1. Daughter enjoyed the ballet enormously. "Why does it have to end?" She said in the theater as they were gathering for the final dance and bows (while I was already sleepy of course). What a treat for me to give her a night out like that.

 

2. The reno is progressing... however, my dressing room is delayed. Life is spread about the house. Fabulous. Tomorrow, the tile goes up! Friday, the shower goes in!

 

3. New guy has got me scheduled for early dinner on Friday and a night of playing pool or similar on Saturday. Bad form to give him two nights. I feel a last minute invitation coming on from you know who and am scared to death of being available. In truth, I should be home sleeping Saturday night. Running and drinking all day sounds like a nap night to me...I need a chaperone to keep me from consorting with the enemy, which is what I will want to do. Better to actually be distracted.

 

Thank goodness I was able to have a low intensity work week this week.

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^^

Accept both dates if it sounds like fun. Don't wait around for someone who hasn't actually made plans in advance for the weekend with you. No 'dropping in' allowed on no notice from Mr. Wow. That is what you do at your sister's! He needs to either date you, or leave you alone to date other men.

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^^

Accept both dates if it sounds like fun. Don't wait around for someone who hasn't actually made plans in advance for the weekend with you. No 'dropping in' allowed on no notice from Mr. Wow. That is what you do at your sister's! He needs to either date you, or leave you alone to date other men.

 

Both dates accepted, in part for exactly that purpose. Am NOT going to be anywhere near home on Saturday, hardly ever, and hardly at all on Sunday too. And anyway, this fellow makes me laugh, and I make him double over in laughter. What is bad about that?

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I went out on Friday, nothing wrong at all. Had fun, shared more of our family backgrounds, walked me to my car, kiss goodnight, home.

 

Ok, yds, complaint #1 is he is a casual dresser, knows it, it's just how it is. Now, I am very casual. He was in shorts and a Polo, Polo untucked. #2, it feels like I'm a circus act. He is very interested, obviously, and he tells stories and makes sure we are comfortable etc. But I make him laugh in some sort of new way. It's not like I'm on a pedestal, I'm just "other". He loves it, th u should fun other kind of person is fascinating. I'm used to other, and I don't feel intimate, so I turn it up.

 

I woke up Saturday wanting to go to Mr wows house to nap. I realized I didn't want to go any further with this fellow, as good as it seemed to be. I called off Saturday date as soon as I was up. Before 9 am evrn.

 

Today, I'll text him appreciation and not dating after all text.

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  • 2 weeks later...

My path... still on it. Household, work, financial goals are unfolding. Bathroom reno turned out beautifully, and I am now onto the last of what I'd like renovate. These last phases will take a few months as I step through the changes in increments.

 

On the man front -- letting myself get distracted by a few entreaties if they seem interesting. A first date on this coming Saturday; discouraged a second suitor with so much in common but a different set of values; added a new interest. Enough activity to see who might hover in the dating space for when I want a date for something, without wanting to hop into the sack or into a relationship. Saturday's date holds promise if only because he has been in 4 different cities since we first agreed to go out, making his calendar and mine difficult to coordinate. New interest says he is happy, just needs a little more adventure. What I miss most out of Mr Wow and, frankly, what kept me involved with the fellow that drove me here, is the adventure of our play time. So, I am liking candidate #1 for his lack of availability - how very me, and convenient for my current goals - and #3 for his adventuresome outlook. No 3 has the added advantages of being located within several miles from home, and is an athlete with cross training for weights and 10 mile runs. A nice fit for me.

 

It is me time.

 

 

 

I note my sister has called me each of last two mornings and I have ignored. I am still pushing people away if their calls interrupt my energy. If I intend to connect with people, I have to find a part of my day when my energy is receptive, quiet. When, when when is such a part of my day? It seems like it is simply the second half of every other weekend, and hardly ever in between. Single parent. Yikes.

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