IAmFCA Posted August 2, 2015 Author Share Posted August 2, 2015 Unresponsive to text since Friday night. My last text was Saturday morning. Of course I won't text again, he will text next. Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted August 3, 2015 Author Share Posted August 3, 2015 So, my day is inverted. Ice silent, Mr Wow talkative. Me, not so much. It's backwards day. I forgot about Ken until just now. Ha, as it should be. Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted August 3, 2015 Author Share Posted August 3, 2015 So, my day is inverted. Ice silent, Mr Wow talkative. Me, not so much. It's backwards day. I forgot about Ken until just now. Ha, as it should be. Ice texted. Mr Wow texted more. Backwards day I'm telling you. Still, Ice shares so very little. I am deciding it's pace and trust and am just mirroring. Ken finally texted... he is more talkative but of course he is in the sales and discovery stage. He is many things but my instincts are blinking a bit of caution. Something about emotional compatibility, I don't remember anymore the trigger. Oh I know... he ended it with wife #2 because she wanted kids and he didnt. (Wouldn't that be great if now she were dating Mr Wow? Lol!) He said He couldn't love her and sit accross the table from her knowing he stood in the way of what she wanted, knowing she blamed him for that. I don't know the story any firther, but it did make me wonder if he took responsibility for her emotions or if she left emotionally and he simply took the steps to end it. Don't know. He certainly does some interesting thinking about me, appreciates my perspective. Still...I've got two more to review. Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted August 4, 2015 Author Share Posted August 4, 2015 Ken is texting me freely,. He is having, it seems, a fair amount of excitement about me. Seeing his enthusiasm made me wonder if I'm over Mr wow, ready to feel. No, in the sense that I was wrong and so now I'm more cautious and deliberate.Also, just, no. Nobody has pushed my buttons like Mr wow did, nor do I expect them to. I am holding to myself more. It feels like I value myself more. Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted August 4, 2015 Author Share Posted August 4, 2015 You're worth everything. Aww thank you!! Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted August 5, 2015 Author Share Posted August 5, 2015 Ice texted yesterday without provocation, short but purposeful. Mr. Wow texted twice sharing discoveries of mutual interest while at a museum with his kids. Did not return his texts. Ken engaged me in a discussion of dating and relationship dynamics. Seeing an old friend tonight who is also here, just by happenstance. Fabulous hike yesterday. About the best work trip I've had in a long while. Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted August 5, 2015 Author Share Posted August 5, 2015 Suddenly feel like I'm not interested in Ken. So much self exploration so soon. I'm kinda over it. But, we are quite similar in our ability to over think etc so I will meet him Saturday as planned and see what I think on our second meet. Funny. I remain interested in Ice despite my logic that he's too remote. I am not sure if that's because dad was remote, because ice is hard to get, or because there is something blissfully simple about someone who doesn't wear his ideas on his sleeve. Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted August 6, 2015 Author Share Posted August 6, 2015 Ice stuck his neck one millimeter tonight. Didn't ask me out, didn't close for a date. But did ask my return date. I've already given away that night and the next morning. The next night I suppose. Dunno. Having a blast in any event. Adding: do I miss Mr wow? Sure I do, the Mr wow I met before the craziness began. Do I miss being sicker into his drama? Not one iota. He really truly did give me the kindest gift he could. No lie. And is dating someone he views differently. An act of love and I do not want him back, not in the shape he was. Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted August 6, 2015 Author Share Posted August 6, 2015 Ken asked me out for an event that happens a few weeks from now. So that is two times he has initiated getting on my calendar. He gets points for that. I think it was Ken who was rated something like 99% compatible on the dating site. I've forgotten the other two candidates, maybe I was supposed to call them, or maybe one of them is the fellow I deleted by telephone the other day, leaving one for exploration. I need to research that, see what I am overlooking. No further developments. All quiet except among my friends, which is the outcome I was hoping to achieve in my social life, one wherein my friends earned more airtime than my male distractions, suitors, and companions. Sadly, even as I put Mr Wow further and further in my rear view mirror, I do not experience the parallel increase in comfort being in the friend zone with him. It will take longer for that to occur; my view of him now is too compromised by what I see as poor judgment. Any warmth he receives from me now (if) serves his emotional need to be accepted. That is not my job and I do not want to be used that way. It has compromised my respect for him even as I understand the origin of his issues and the solution to same. I am hopeful he will solve what needs to be solved and avoid marrying his current gf; I am hopeful but not at all expectant. He will require more drama to break through; she will need to leave him, which may happen, as he undermines the relationship which is bound to do eventually. Glad to keep a certain distance from that drama. Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted August 7, 2015 Author Share Posted August 7, 2015 Ice texted again, same time as yesterday, with a vaca pic and another step towards calendar syncing. I dig that. Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted August 7, 2015 Author Share Posted August 7, 2015 Sweetheart, there are few people whom you respect. They are authentic, and they are living their lives with intention, whatever that may look like. Everyone else is transactional. I dig that about you. I'm in no rush. Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted August 7, 2015 Author Share Posted August 7, 2015 Perhaps I am happy to hang on to the texted because I am in no rush. I was amazed -not really - by that fellow a year or two ago who was so smitten with me but by the 5th date couldn't stand to be with me any longer because I wasn't telling him the same. I mean, I told him from date 1 I move slowly and he never once backed off. He said, for him it was backing off, but there was no respect for my pace whatsoever. This thing where he has a full life and isn't bothered by mine, I like that. It didn't scare him away, he didn't suddenly use me to fill his mind, nor did he require that I be available to.plug into his life however works for him. I really like that. Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted August 8, 2015 Author Share Posted August 8, 2015 Lol Ice wore his emotions on his sleeve. Sent me "sweet dreams". He might even ask me out one day. Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted August 8, 2015 Author Share Posted August 8, 2015 Ice asked me out for tonight, presuming he arrives in town as scheduled. Date tonight with Ken. It's an open field right now. Everyone has value. Everyone inspires doubts. That's why it's called dating. Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted August 9, 2015 Author Share Posted August 9, 2015 Oh, I posted incorrectly. Ice asked me out for tomorrow night, assuming he arrives as intended. Tonight I had a lovely date with KEN. Gentle, gentlemanly, plans ahead, takes an interest, makes me a priority. Impressed by that. Interested in learning more about him to see if I like what's underneath the traditional courting behavior. Good kisser too. While having a drink with ken, ice texted to check in that I got home safely. Ice is attentive at the moment. I am not even sure ice wants a relationship with anyone. Poker player extraordinaire. I don't want to ask. I want to flush him out. Make him ask. Until I need to choose, I don't need to know. It feels at the moment like I have too many men, but I don't. I do like both of them. Ice wins on lifestyle, proximity, career, family. Ken wins on available, forthcoming, gentleman. Dunno. Link to comment
faraday Posted August 9, 2015 Share Posted August 9, 2015 They'll sort themselves out. Try not to overthink it...because one day in a month or three, you'll realize that you're spending your time with whoever makes you feel the best.,,whether it's Ken, ice or next guy. So go with yourself- have fun enjoy the courtship Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted August 10, 2015 Author Share Posted August 10, 2015 Thank you Faraday. Had a great night with Ice last night. Its like I am dating Jean Claude Van Damme, in one of those movies where he plays twins, one the clean cut son of privilege and the other a street tough gangster. I want them both. I know that won't last; pigs get fat, hogs get slaughtered. My kids get home soon adding a further challenge to my indulgent behavior. For now, no sex and lots of fun. Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted August 10, 2015 Author Share Posted August 10, 2015 Did not find a What are you thinking thread that is still open. I am thinking Lyle Lovett is oddly sexy. Have always thought so. Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted August 11, 2015 Author Share Posted August 11, 2015 I try always to say yes to Ice. He needs that for trust, just my sense of it. I said yes to Ken, then Ice asked. Both last minute. Ice still not sure he can make it. Socially not an issue. But I try to be a little smoother so he can't see my schedule. Oh well. I don't what the deal is but I am one giant raging hormone stew, like a teenager. I could wrap any number of men into my Web in this condition. Dangerous. I have to be thoughtful about my judgment! Oh well. Will try to make schedules work so I can double em up if necessary. Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted August 12, 2015 Author Share Posted August 12, 2015 Well that worked out. I fell asleep after work and missed everyone. Lol.One instance wherein avoidance = solution. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 So, I was listening to a podcast and thought of you -check out Lea Thau's latest podcast on Love Hurts -if you are willing to invest the time I would first listen to her series of about 4 podcasts entitled Love Hurts before listening to this latest one -about her experiences, as a single mom/post-divorce -with on line dating. So interesting -she is analytical, intelligent, good sense of humor -wonderful to listen to. I think you'd enjoy it and gain some insights (not that you need to - meaning, it's always good to gain insights into dating/relationships). Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted August 12, 2015 Author Share Posted August 12, 2015 So, I was listening to a podcast and thought of you -check out Lea Thau's latest podcast on Love Hurts -if you are willing to invest the time I would first listen to her series of about 4 podcasts entitled Love Hurts before listening to this latest one -about her experiences, as a single mom/post-divorce -with on line dating. So interesting -she is analytical, intelligent, good sense of humor -wonderful to listen to. I think you'd enjoy it and gain some insights (not that you need to - meaning, it's always good to gain insights into dating/relationships). Thank you Batya. Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted August 13, 2015 Author Share Posted August 13, 2015 Recording for no reason than to record it somewhere. 1. Saw Mr Wow yesterday. A random run-in an hour away from home. Funny. Chatty and personable. 2. Saw a very ex ex last night. Was great fun. (No qualms about the ex status.) 3. No request from Ice for the weekend. I am not asking. 4. Daytime date with Ken on Saturday, nice. 5. An additional candidate remains, but I think he will bow out. He wants a woman with time available, and as I have been on the road 50% of the time lately, that isn't me. Next... Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted August 14, 2015 Author Share Posted August 14, 2015 As one my friends says, if you ever wonder if there is a God, take a minute to notice his sense of humor. Mr. Wow and I exchanged a few texts about a business idea we have always agreed to do together. Of course we did. We keep our distances but one day, one day, we'll do that thing we talked about. Funnier, we both think, It could happen. Because, of course it could. Humans are funny. Link to comment
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