IAmFCA Posted July 29, 2015 Author Share Posted July 29, 2015 On a different note, I am screening k, k, c and t with face to face meets over the next two weeks. I haven't got straight who is who, two look alike, and the other two... I don't know I keep forgetting. Anyone who argues that o.l.d. doesn't make people a commodity is missing something. It will be good to put ice up to some competition. Link to comment
faraday Posted July 29, 2015 Share Posted July 29, 2015 On a different note, I am screening k, k, c and t with face to face meets over the next two weeks. I haven't got straight who is who, two look alike, and the other two... I don't know I keep forgetting. Anyone who argues that o.l.d. doesn't make people a commodity is missing something. It will be good to put ice up to some competition. You go girl Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted July 30, 2015 Author Share Posted July 30, 2015 You go girl Thank you Faraday. All done while my profile is disabled, so Ice need not trouble his cute little brain about it. I am promised pics from his vacation. I will send him pics from my travel. We seem to have broken new ground, the ground of the selfie sent to share an experience. We are just speedy speedy speedy. lol Mr Wow promised to call me today for some reason, of course I know he will forget. The best joke ever on this topic: "Is he better so that now he is only half not good enough?" No date tomorrow after all. Date Friday. Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted July 30, 2015 Author Share Posted July 30, 2015 My theory Ice spent tonight and last Friday night with his main squeeze Deciding how to manage... he's handled it without lying and his last ask was for beers on a night I couldn't have slept over anyhow, and his texts are not flirty which I appreciate I don't think I'll drop altogether I think I'll respond slowly Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted July 30, 2015 Author Share Posted July 30, 2015 Hmm he texted at 537 this morning. So, his date didn't sleep over. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 Hmm he texted at 537 this morning. So, his date didn't sleep over. I used to do those types of analyses! Of course she might have slept over and it's ok if she did just like it's ok that you are dating others/looking to date others. Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted July 30, 2015 Author Share Posted July 30, 2015 I used to do those types of analyses! Of course she might have slept over and it's ok if she did just like it's ok that you are dating others/looking to date others. Of course that's so. I like that he doesn't want me to think she did. Lol its all so silly. Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted July 30, 2015 Author Share Posted July 30, 2015 Of course that's so. I like that he doesn't want me to think she did. Lol its all so silly. Typically I have felt most comfortable with someone -in a meaningful wat- when I have been able to observe them over time. The purpose of my thinking is to help me maintain a balance between available and not so much. Too available, I get him now but not for long. Not enough and I lose his interest. If I make the middle ground work, I grow in him and trust his assessment of his own interest more than I otherwise would. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 Of course that's so. I like that he doesn't want me to think she did. Lol its all so silly. Why would you think that? Maybe he just felt like texting you. Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted July 30, 2015 Author Share Posted July 30, 2015 Why would you think that? Maybe he just felt like texting you. Because he has never texted me that early, and because he is intentional and aware. And I may be wrong, but 537 am... when I have slept over, he hasn't gotten up until 630.or 7. It's early. Maybe he was up early because he was a guest, or his guest left, or because he went for a run, who knows. I like that he is aware he was silent the whole night before and so first thing, gave me recognition. He just asked for.Friday. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 Because he has never texted me that early, and because he is intentional and aware. And I may be wrong, but 537 am... when I have slept over, he hasn't gotten up until 630.or 7. It's early. Maybe he was up early because he was a guest, or his guest left, or because he went for a run, who knows. I like that he is aware he was silent the whole night before and so first thing, gave me recognition. He just asked for.Friday. I think you are making a lot of assumptions about someone you don't yet know well. I wouldn't read into the timing of his text -for all you know he sent it hours earlier but there was a glitch. Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted July 31, 2015 Author Share Posted July 31, 2015 Batya, Many behaviors in human interaction communicate, in addition to words and plain actions. I know you have a particular sensitivity about not reading into things, and on the main I agree with you. It's why I don't put too much weight on it. At the same time, I am confident he is aware of time and rhythm. He knows what he is doing when he twxts. If this were Mr Wow, id assign no meaning to it. His behavior is variable, there are few time patterns and he is not always aware of the time. Ice is disciplined like an engineer. He pursues extreme sports that reward precision and kill the careless. I care less about my the accuracy of my assessment than I do about this exchange with you. My assessment is instinct and an assessment that brings various details into order. It isn't fact, and it isn't an action that offers me a benefit. So it needs to stay in proportion. Yes, sometimes actions reflect intent. When a man texts me.every night, it has intent. Whatever pattern he estaishes or avoids provides information. That is how men communicate, through their actions. I may get the meaning wrong, but I do believe in the symbolism if under st ood in the context of the individual. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 As you also know texts can be delayed, sent by accident, etc so he can know all he wants and technology can know other things. I agree with patterns of communication - after those have been established over a period of months in a relationship -I think you're making assumptions far too soon especially since you are still both dating/looking to date other people. I don't think I have a particular sensitivity to reading into things. I do think it can be self-sabotaging to read into things in the particular way you choose to. Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted July 31, 2015 Author Share Posted July 31, 2015 I would agree with you if it weren't that you readily invoke reasons that I could be misinterpreting. Of course I could be overthinking. He could have simply texted me at 537 in the morning because he felt like it. I draw my inferences based on sound understanding of patterns. The likelihood of delayed texts is low, it's never happened between our phones. He replied to my reply. There was an exchange at that hour. Those are details I didn't bother to post. He has a history of making nuanced moves in his work, the sort wherein one has to think several steps ahead but all he did was say, open a door or lock a door, or step to the left or the right. I have a highly intuitive nature, as verified in three different tests administered by trained personnel. While I don't want to defend my understanding here, my point is, Yes, there are reasons I draw an inference, not all of which are written here. It seems to me Batya you may be assuming something about my thinkingc much like you think I am assuming too much about his. I don't put that much stock in my assessments because a text isn't worth much even if my assessments are true. If we are to judge a man by his actions, his texting behavior is one example of an action. It's not a big action or a hard one, but it IS an action. Someone who texts me many mornings between 8 and 9 in the morning and at 10 every nights, who then is MIA one night and who texts me at 537 the next morning... that is a break in a pattern. It could be random, it could be intentional. I'll never know and don't need to. It certainly gives an impression. Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted July 31, 2015 Author Share Posted July 31, 2015 Wow that was a great first date lunch! I found him smart sexy peaceful, polite, and with many broad interests that are well developed. Well, now the fun begins. Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted July 31, 2015 Author Share Posted July 31, 2015 The first date was with KEN. KEEFER asked if he could call me tonight or tomorrow. I really don't like making phone dates when I am.busy, but it may be necessary. Right now, he is getting a bit of a run around from me. Why doesn't he ju at try and let me call him back? I'll suggest that. Adding... ICE has me on hold for tonight, on a balancing act with kids basis. I'm looking forward to seeing him and hope it works out. Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted July 31, 2015 Author Share Posted July 31, 2015 Wow! The man who behaved deplorably, whom I let hurt me till I was broken and found eNA in my efforts to heal: He just texted how hurting me haunts him, how sorry he is for having hurt me. I took the high road with him and myself, and it's paying off. I feel proud of me. Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted August 1, 2015 Author Share Posted August 1, 2015 Keefer is out. Down to 4. Ice, Ken, and two other ones. Link to comment
faraday Posted August 1, 2015 Share Posted August 1, 2015 Wow! The man who behaved deplorably, whom I let hurt me till I was broken and found eNA in my efforts to heal: He just texted how hurting me haunts him, how sorry he is for having hurt me. I took the high road with him and myself, and it's paying off. I feel proud of me. It's funny how that stuff works, hey? How long has it been since that break up? Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted August 1, 2015 Author Share Posted August 1, 2015 Offer on your house!! Two years since we cut contacthe (since resumed), three since break.up Link to comment
faraday Posted August 1, 2015 Share Posted August 1, 2015 Offer on your house!! Two years since we cut contacthe (since resumed), three since break.up What doctor think his motivation is for contacting you? If you think it's sincere, why are these emotions coming up now, and why does he want to share them with you? Link to comment
Batya33 Posted August 1, 2015 Share Posted August 1, 2015 Yes, texting is an action and I agree with evaluating actions rather than words - you were referring to patterns of behavior and I think the pattern you were referring to takes longer to form in any meaningful way. I don't think you're misinterpreting but rather putting too much stock into what actions mean and assuming you know what someone is all about when it might help you and the relationship to hold off on those assumptions as you get to know the person better. Sure, keep it in the back of your mind and sure, assume that you're good at reading people but the early labeling -and the assumptions based on it - might actually harm getting to know the person because you might interpret too many actions as related to your early impressions. Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted August 1, 2015 Author Share Posted August 1, 2015 What doctor think his motivation is for contacting you? If you think it's sincere, why are these emotions coming up now, and why does he want to share them with you? We've been in contact for about a year, building contact again slowly and defining boundaries. I was telling him about my dating life, and we talked about how we can love someone while also knowing we are not supposed to be together. We talked about learning from our experiences. That is when he brought it up. He is in a relationship and is very well matched. He has no intention of undoing that. I think he is working towards forgiving himself and getting forgiveness from me perhaps. Link to comment
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