Allipie Posted March 22, 2015 Share Posted March 22, 2015 So that's what happened: And today....I woke up just so angry and sad. How he could he do that to me. He knew my issues from the previous guy, and I trusted him enough to let him in my life/get physical, even though it was so difficult. Then I get tossed aside like a piece of trash. It's hard to not take it personally, but I am...but this is probably what he does to every woman though. I want to text him and ask him why....and how. how he could ditch me on my birthday and ignore me. how could he treat me like that Link to comment
Zuri Posted March 22, 2015 Share Posted March 22, 2015 And then you become one of the "crazies" he told you about. Link to comment
Allipie Posted March 22, 2015 Author Share Posted March 22, 2015 And then you become one of the "crazies" he told you about. I know. I cant do anything. Im just soo hurt. He knows what ive been through the past year and 1/2, and...idk...i feel like it became too much of a burden for him. Is that how its going to be? Ptsd from a prior experience is too much of a burden for guys? Ugh Link to comment
DaisyHope Posted March 22, 2015 Share Posted March 22, 2015 Sounds like I read your original message On this thread. I was in the same boat. I still go over and over the reasons why and get angry with him and can't understand it. I've wanted to rant at him so many times over these months broken up but it's the worst thing we can do. We're better than that and it changes nothING for us. You and I just have to remain strong. Allow ourselves to feel confused and angry. Write it down or speak to friends but never say it to them. Rant to me as if I'm your ex if you like. Here for you.I know exactly how you're feeling. Link to comment
Snow93 Posted March 22, 2015 Share Posted March 22, 2015 Been there. Trust me, don't bother text asking why. You'll get nothing but half truths and inconsistent lies that will make you go back and question yourself even more when you don't have to. You have to consider, is there really anything he can say that'll make you feel better about the situation? I really doubt it. Get angry, sure. But unfortunately you can't direct it at the person who deserves it; if he cared that little to ditch you on your birthday he's probably going to shrug off anything you have to say anyway... It'll make you feel worse. Just vent away. Eventually it'll get better and you will feel a lot happier with yourself that you didn't go crawling to him trying to find answers. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted March 22, 2015 Share Posted March 22, 2015 Please stop putting so much energy into this guy. He's not worth it! Work on getting your grades back up. Please go back and read all of your other threads. Link to comment
Allipie Posted March 22, 2015 Author Share Posted March 22, 2015 Daisyhope and Snow93: I know anything I say will be met with silence, so no matter how justified i think ill feel in saying something, itll really just do nothing. He really doesn't care. And looking back, there were little red flags. Like when he said 'good to know' when i said im a patient person. Or when he lied to his friend (who i used to be friends with) about where he was going when he was going to see me....and if he's willing to lie and hide me from his best friend, he sure as hell is willing to lie to me too!! ugh! hollyj: i think deep down im more angry at myself for not paying attention to the red flags, not listening to my friends when they said it was a bad idea to get involved with him. All my guy friends were happy when i told them i broke up with him...even they said he was a jerk. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted March 22, 2015 Share Posted March 22, 2015 You know who he he. Please try not to waste anymore of your precious life on this guy. Learn from this. You're right! It isn't about him, as you're the only one that change you. Work on you, and take the focus off of him. Link to comment
Allipie Posted March 22, 2015 Author Share Posted March 22, 2015 You know who he he. Please try not to waste anymore of your precious life on this guy. Learn from this. You're right! It isn't about him, as you're the only one that change you. Work on you, and take the focus off of him. you are absolutely right. ill just take it as a learning experience. It was my first time dating someone in a year since i had a bad experience that resulted in some ptsd. i'm tough, ill be okay. for now....UGH. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted March 22, 2015 Share Posted March 22, 2015 Yes! You will! Learn, and turn this into a positive . I did! You need to start by stopping seeing and yourself as a victim. This is how we change. Understand why you ignored the red flags . Link to comment
Allipie Posted March 22, 2015 Author Share Posted March 22, 2015 Yes! You will! Learn, and turn this into a positive . I did! You need to start by stopping seeing and yourself as a victim. This is how we change. Understand why you ignored the red flags . im going to my therapist on thursday. ill be sure to mention ignoring the red flags. I seem to do that a lot, and I have no idea why1! Link to comment
engraved2008 Posted March 22, 2015 Share Posted March 22, 2015 im going to my therapist on thursday. ill be sure to mention ignoring the red flags. I seem to do that a lot, and I have no idea why1! Same here Allipie !! I went to therapist once since the break up and she stated that the thing was that I invested a lot in the relationship.it has nothing to do with self estim . You can be a rich,beautiful, successful person but still be heartbroken . I fell in love with the wrong guy thats what happened ..we pick the wrong type somehow. Link to comment
Allipie Posted March 22, 2015 Author Share Posted March 22, 2015 Same here Allipie !! I went to therapist once since the break up and she stated that the thing was that I invested a lot in the relationship.it has nothing to do with self estim . You can be a rich,beautiful, successful person but still be heartbroken . I fell in love with the wrong guy thats what happened ..we pick the wrong type somehow. i think i just look at things iwth rose colored glasses....typical pisces!! lol Link to comment
engraved2008 Posted March 22, 2015 Share Posted March 22, 2015 i think i just look at things iwth rose colored glasses....typical pisces!! lol I'm a libra ...lol.my ex was scorpio !!not a good combo but my longest two relationships were scorpios !! But ... Link to comment
Allipie Posted March 22, 2015 Author Share Posted March 22, 2015 I'm a libra ...lol.my ex was scorpio !!not a good combo but my longest two relationships were scorpios !! But ... pisces/cancer which is supposed to be a good match. oh well. lol can't really rely on that too much when it comes to relationships Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 So that's what happened: And today....I woke up just so angry and sad. How he could he do that to me. He knew my issues from the previous guy, and I trusted him enough to let him in my life/get physical, even though it was so difficult. Then I get tossed aside like a piece of trash. It's hard to not take it personally, but I am...but this is probably what he does to every woman though. I want to text him and ask him why....and how. how he could ditch me on my birthday and ignore me. how could he treat me like that Less than 6 months into a relationship, you shouldn't be spilling your guts about how someone has hurt you in the past. I know that, subconsciously, we do it as a sort of plea - please don't hurt me. Instead of being vulnerable, it's slightly manipulative and transparent. I think his behavior towards you has been deplorable. But women who have healthy relationships carry themselves like healthy people - as much as they can. The walking wounded tends to attract use, abuse, and disrespect from men who (may) have otherwise treated you slightly better. Stay strong, lady. Link to comment
Allipie Posted March 23, 2015 Author Share Posted March 23, 2015 Less than 6 months into a relationship, you shouldn't be spilling your guts about how someone has hurt you in the past. I know that, subconsciously, we do it as a sort of plea - please don't hurt me. Instead of being vulnerable, it's slightly manipulative and transparent. I think his behavior towards you has been deplorable. But women who have healthy relationships carry themselves like healthy people - as much as they can. The walking wounded tends to attract use, abuse, and disrespect from men who (may) have otherwise treated you slightly better. Stay strong, lady. i understand what you're saying, but I only told him because he knows the guy and i didnt want to be put into a situation where I would see the other guy. I also told him because he had doubts early on as to whether or not i liked him. I explained why i appeared hesitant, so it wasn't coming from a manipulative place. It never really came up again, but he was really understand of the whole situation and I never gave off a vibe that I was weak. However, that last week we were together, I think he changed from actually caring, to taking advantage of the situation. He acted like he wanted to keep me hidden from everyone so (and im assuming) he could present himself as single to his friends/family. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 I understand. It's something to always be very careful about in the future. Like I said - he is a jerk regardless. I think you will just need time and emotional distance to move on. One day at a time. Link to comment
Allipie Posted March 23, 2015 Author Share Posted March 23, 2015 I understand. It's something to always be very careful about in the future. Like I said - he is a jerk regardless. I think you will just need time and emotional distance to move on. One day at a time. Time and space for sure Today, i woke up sad. Really sad. When it was good, it was really good. We talked all day, every day. It was like being with my best friend...it just felt so natural. It made sense. I dont know how he could turn into a jerk and walk away from that. Link to comment
No1 Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 Dang thats a lot of drama from someone you dated only 90 days. And from what you said it wasnt even really dating. You said he would disappear for long stretches. In a guys mind how is that a relationship? Im thinking you thought it was something more than what it really was. To him you were just a girl he would go hang with and be physical with because you allowed it. Sure he might of taken advantage of you, but you let him. It was easy to walk away, ditch you because you two were never really serious. You told him you loved him didnt you? Link to comment
Allipie Posted March 23, 2015 Author Share Posted March 23, 2015 Dang thats a lot of drama from someone you dated only 90 days. And from what you said it wasnt even really dating. You said he would disappear for long stretches. In a guys mind how is that a relationship? Im thinking you thought it was something more than what it really was. To him you were just a girl he would go hang with and be physical with because you allowed it. Sure he might of taken advantage of you, but you let him. It was easy to walk away, ditch you because you two were never really serious. You told him you loved him didnt you? It was a couple times. First time was an actual fight. I meant tgat given things he told me, its a pattern of behavior on his part to disappear. And there were things he said that reassured me it was more than just someone he hangs out with. No i didnt tell him i loved him, bc i wasnt in love with him. Link to comment
No1 Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 If you didnt love him then why are you so heartbroken over a 90 day fling with a guy who disappeared a lot? Its hard to believe someone that disappears or has a pattern, its easier to believe someone when they tell you what they are doing prior to leaving. This was nothing more than two ships passing in the night. It wasnt meant to be and this guy was in no way ever going to be serious with you. There was never any future with him and you just leave it at that. Nothing to dwell on, or re-think, or re-hash, or re-examine, or analyze to what happened or where it went wrong. Nothing went wrong because it was never going to happen. Relax, you are better off now Link to comment
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