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Omg so needy and clingy I'm embrassing

Sussie

By Sussie
in Dating Advice

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Sussie Newbie

Sussie

Posted
Posted

I've been dating a lovely guy for 6 weeks things were going really well. He told me he didn't want to date anyone else as he liked me.

 

Our last date was lovely planning next dates and he was saying how well we get on and how stunning I looked that night. Then I got a little drunk and bits missing from the night.

 

I stayed over at his and we slept together that nights cuddles in the morning and made plans for the following weekend, He also kept reminding me a few times last night i told him I didn't say it very often but I'd did like him to which I replied "I was drunk lol.

 

We texted for next few nights everything fine and arranged a day for 2 days later. He then had to cancel the next date due to work commitments. I just said "no worries you will have to make it up to me wink." To which he replied when I have a min in about a year lol(wft)

 

1st mistake I then text "we still on for next weekend "No response . I then did the totally wrong thing as couldn't remember all the date and was thinking I said or done something to upset him while I was drunk.

 

"Hi are you okay..just wondering if I did anything to change your mind about me as you have been a bit distant since Friday." He responded with just crazy busy with work hun. Then made another mistake and sent him a message saying "too busy to see me next weekend "no response . (Argh)

 

I texted him about his job he replied then I asked him a question no response .

 

I didn't hear for him so 4 days later sent "hey you"No response

 

I then totally messed up and sent the following text.

"Looking over my texts over last few days I realise I was being a little needy and demanding. Sorry about that.I don't realise how Busy work was. I took it personally. That was wrong. id love to spend some fun one-one time with you again when you have some free time . Let me know xx "again no response.

 

Regretted it as soon as I had sent it. I feel I have messed up and won't hear from his again

 

I done totally the opposite of johns advice and asked him what's up. What did I do wrong and also came accross needy and clingy.

 

I text him.week later and asked his advice. no reply.. Then.last.text I know dating didn't work for us but can we be friends.

I would love some advice on here as reading other post the advice has been so amazing and inspiring . Would value

 

He he did said the last girl he dated was a bunny boiler and that she told him she loved him after 6 weeks. Was always i texting and asking to see him.

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MrsGREY Newbie

MrsGREY

Posted
Posted

I know it is hard to not text, I generally don't tx any man until they have made contact. You have to let them stew, men seem to like a bit of a chase. I wouldn't bother with this guy, he is being bit of an ass. I would delete his number and if he does tx you don't tx back until his sent you another.

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notalady Mentor

notalady

Posted
Posted

That first cancellation and his response ("when I have a min in about a year lol") was his attempt to fade out. Your subsequent texts didn't make any difference. BUT it would be wise not to text a guy more than once after he cancelled on you and not have rescheduled. After you said are we still on and got no response, you should have not responded back. Ball was in his court to respond and schedule a date, if he didn't, he's lost interest.

 

And why on earth did you text him weeks later wanting to be friends?! Lol...

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Sussie Newbie

Sussie

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Posted

I'm cringing here reading it. Only reason I did this was because I was really drunk and was thinking... what did I'd do...trying to find out in a clingy desperate way argh. It was the first time we slept together. Just call be glen close lol xx

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weathergirl Rookie

weathergirl

Posted
Posted

Agree with Rosti..chalk it up and lesson learned. My guess is it would not have made a difference regardless of anything you did ....as it appears that after he got what he was after (sex)... he's now off and running to his next conquest.

 

As another poster said in a different thread...when guy cancels on you, and doesn't reschedule right there and then, simply say "no problem..see ya later" and then disappear....

 

But don't beat yourself up too bad...most of us have BTDT...and as many of us said, I think he would have disappeared anyway.

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greta96 Community Regular

greta96

Posted
Posted

I too think he would have disappeared anyway, he was preparing his exit when he told you how all of a sudden his work became all kinds of crazy busy. So, don't think it was your texting that pushed him away. It may have deterred him from seeking out another booty call with you, but it really doesn't look like he wanted a relationship.

 

Having said that, be careful not to do this in the future, it is not attractive at all, and you could ruin a potentially good relationship by acting overly clingy. Like someone else already said, when a guy cancels on you, you just say "ok no problem" and from then on it's on him to contact you again. Under no circumstances do you text him repeatedly, especially after he ignores your messages. I know it's tempting to text, in hopes you'd get some sort of reassurance, but it looks very desperate and it usually has the opposite effect, it turns the guy off. One tip I used to use in cases like this - I used to picture the guy seeing my text and rolling his eyes, and telling his buddies "which part of I'm not interested does this chick not comprehend?". It worked every time.

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