My boyfriend wants to get circumsized?

[ForestofDreams]

I really hope he doesn't somehow read this. My boyfriend wants to improve our sex life since we only had sex 4 times in a whole year. He said he's scared of sex because he.... pre-ejaculates. I never got angry with him over this ever...it's kind of all in his head (his fear and embarrassment). But his fear is so bad we WILL NOT have sex. He often pretends to fall asleep to get out of it. We've always had this problem but only recently did he admit the reason why he fears sex. I've also been the only woman he's ever had sex with.

 

My response was "That's silly...all men pre-ejaculate for the first year or so until they build up a tolerance. The more sex we have, the longer you will last eventually. But if we never have sex you won't build that resistance". Thing is...I don't even know if what I said is true. Is it? Do all guys go through this phase? If he had more sex will he eventually last longer?

 

So he kind of wants a quick fix to the whole thing. Circumcision. I don't want him to have this done because what if he regrets it? What if he doesn't like the new feeling? He's so used to it being super sensitive...that what if it makes him depressed that it isn't? Plus...would circumcision even make him last longer? I'm pretty sure even if men are circumcised they still pre-ejaculate at first.

 

So I guess my questions are:

 

Do all men go through a phase when they first have sex, where they pre-ejaculate?

If so how long does it last, and how long does it take for the man to last longer? (This is for his information not mine)

Would circumcision really help or is it just a bad idea?

 

Personally, I just want him to face his fear and try more often rather then get a whole surgery, but for some reason he seems dead set on getting this surgery.

[greta96]

I'm not a man, but as far as I know all men have the pre-cum, which is why the pullout method often results in "oopsies". I highly doubt getting circumcised will improve his sex in any way, and at his age, it will be really painful to boot (as he will soon find out lol).

If he wants to do it, well...it's his body, his choice. But he should really do his research before jumping on the operating table, or he will be in for a big disappointment.

[sheiscourtney]

My boyfriend and I are eachother's firsts and he had the same problem. He felt embarassed when he only lasts like 5-10 minutes in the beginning. I'm no professional but it seems like the more times we have sex, the longer he lasts. My boyfriend is circumcised but he never had sex when he wasn't circumcised so he doesn't know how it feels. But I definitely agree with you, I think you and your boyfriend should have sex a little bit more before circumcising, just to see if you see a difference. I wish you both the best though and hopefully there is a quick fix besides circumcision.

[RKO]

Been circumcised all my life, sex feels amazing to me.

 

Pre ejaculate? Do you mean pre cum? Sure I have that, no big deal, it's because I'm turned on, just like a girl gets wet, it's just your body's natural lubrication.

 

If I haven't had sex for a while then yes I ejaculate quickly when I first have it, again no big deal, just do some thing else to your other half whilst the mood comes back, then go again and you will last longer.

 

As above, the more sex you have the longer you last. Also depends how horny you are.

 

I've no idea if getting circumcised will make any difference at all

[mhowe]

I think OP means premature ejaculation...as in..a few minutes.

[zebragirl]

Getting circumcised won't fix have a premature ejaculation. Lots of inexperienced guys ejaculate quickly. My husband had set before we met but got off really quick. With practice he was able to hold back and last a long time. He is circumcised. Having premature ejaculation has everything to do with experience and nothing to do with circumcisn. I have read that guys who are uncurcumtand get circumcised later in life often regret it because sex feels different and not as sensitive. If a guy was circumcised as a baby he will never know the difference but as an adult if he's had enjoyable sex and get circumcised later often there is a big negative difference. That's because the foreskin protects the penis and makes it more sensitive, it has to toughen up after being circumcised. Girls who've had sex with guys who are circumcised can experience less chafing too because of the mechanics... It's his body but he needs to do his research first.

[lovingtheextra]

Whether circumcision will solve the issue, well I doubt it would. I know that they say that sensitivity levels are different for circumscribed and uncircumcised but I doubt they are so different that that is the reason for his premature ejaculation.

 

Some people actually have a problem with it and its not a phase. For some people it is a phase. I have had premature ejaculation at many points.

 

How do you solve it? First and foremost is comfort. This despite being so common is very embarrassing for men. Makes you somehow feel inadequate. This can be solved by practice, the more you guys have sex the more used to it he will get. Go slow, tell him to pull out the second he feels a build up. Wait a little bit and go at it again. This way he can build up his tolerance.

 

Other things that can help are condoms and desensitizing creams. Both reduce sensitivity so it should give you an edge.

 

However, before he even tries these things he needs to feel comfortable about it and not embarrassed. Make sure to give him small compliments like it felt great and whatever you get the point. And even if he finishes with 2-3 minutes tell him it was great. After he builds up confidence it will be easier.

 

To conclude circumcision will not solve this so tell him not to make a hasty decision.

[happyfrank]

It's a phase.

 

He will get better with more experience..

 

If he gets circumsized. He could losing feeling and not want to have sex anymore.

[jimthzz]

Better he learn control techniques (you too), then as a grown person getting that done.

[annie24]

Wait, how did you guys have a baby then? Or did you get lucky early on???

[lukeb]

I find it kind of silly to think that as a gf you would have anything to say about your bf getting a circumcision (or not) but I guess you can try to talk him out of it if you want.