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Met someone recently........wow!!


JA0371

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Last night K took his son to dinner and to see his sons gf perform at an event. We were texting back and forth...he text 'missing you though'..so I text 'I miss you too'. Apparently his son used his phone for something and saw our "I miss you' texts, so he kept teasing him about it... 'you miss J'.....hahaha....it was funny. K's ex wife has a history of looking up women he's dating to gain 'info' about them, so we've been kinda trying to keep this somewhat quiet for now. Oh well....that's a whole other thread.

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Yesterday was the SuperBowl, so K had his kids for the day. It was fairly quiet....then later once the game started I got a really long text of how he was missing me and wished we were together for the game. Lol....it was really nice.

 

I am up early...gonna get back into my fitness routine. I told K I was starting this week. I don't think he knew I was serious till I text him at 5:30 to sayi was up and getting ready to start...lol. Well, hopefully I'll be a positive influence if nothing else.

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So I am realizing things about K that I absolutely LOVE. First of all....he's in radio professionally, so he has an amazingly sexy voice. .but when we are Ftiming he gets really close to the camera and talks to me, in a low tone. Omg!! Even more though is when we are talking sometimes he just looks at me....but it's the WAY he looks at me. It's hard to explain. But let me just say it makes me squirm....lol. He's so open, and he makes me feel safe and secure. He tells me he wants something meaningful with me and that he thinks Im beautiful, sexy...etc etc. this is one solid man. We have a date in 6 days. The week is going to go soooo slowwww.... Lol

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So I am realizing things about K that I absolutely LOVE. First of all....he's in radio professionally, so he has an amazingly sexy voice. .but when we are Ftiming he gets really close to the camera and talks to me, in a low tone. Omg!! Even more though is when we are talking sometimes he just looks at me....but it's the WAY he looks at me. It's hard to explain. But let me just say it makes me squirm....lol. He's so open, and he makes me feel safe and secure. He tells me he wants something meaningful with me and that he thinks Im beautiful, sexy...etc etc. this is one solid man. We have a date in 6 days. The week is going to go soooo slowwww.... Lol

 

It sounds like he is saying very nice things to you and that you like the sound of his voice when he says them. Have fun on your date!

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Thanks ....I know it's still early on. Just trying to enjoy it while it lasts...lol

 

You can ride the wave or you can take the mindset of head in the clouds/feet on the ground. The former can be more fun short-term. Depends on what the goals are or if there are any goals. (and with my suggestion you still ride the wave just maybe ratcheting down the assumptions a wee bit -again nothing wrong with your approach -all depends on what you want!).

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I like your approach. We are actually going fairly slow....no sex yet. Lots of talking and communicating. He also said he's never gone this slow, but we agree it is certainly best. One thing from his past with his ex wife....he said she would withhold sex as a form of manipulation, so he said he has a lot of practice with waiting. It's kinda sad..and funny at the same time.

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I like your approach. We are actually going fairly slow....no sex yet. Lots of talking and communicating. He also said he's never gone this slow, but we agree it is certainly best. One thing from his past with his ex wife....he said she would withhold sex as a form of manipulation, so he said he has a lot of practice with waiting. It's kinda sad..and funny at the same time.

 

I'm glad you like the approach -doesn't work for everyone. I was referring to your assumptions about what kind of person he is based on what he says to you. I think it's always a good idea to wait before having sex of course and that helps with not getting emotionally attached too early but my comments had nothing to do with whether you were choosing to have sex yet or not . Interesting what he chose to share with you about his sex life with his ex wife. You've only been on one date so far, right? Doesn't sound like you're waiting a long time at all.

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Actually he only told me that because she cheated on him and left him for another guy. It was more in reference to what he would now consider 'domestic abuse'..based on his experience, he wasn't really kissing and telling so to speak. Just more letting me know what he's been through.

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Actually he only told me that because she cheated on him and left him for another guy. It was more in reference to what he would now consider 'domestic abuse'..based on his experience, he wasn't really kissing and telling so to speak. Just more letting me know what he's been through.

 

It sounds like he believes it is domestic abuse to withhold sex.

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It sounds like he believes it is domestic abuse to withhold sex.

 

Yes... That's what he said...but he said his therapist also said its considered a form of domestic abuse. He said since his divorce that any form of domestic Abuse is a huge dealbreaker...which I agree.

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Yes... That's what he said...but he said his therapist also said its considered a form of domestic abuse. He said since his divorce that any form of domestic Abuse is a huge dealbreaker...which I agree.

 

Well it's sort of circular. Obviously everyone agrees that domestic abuse is a dealbreaker but it depends how you define domestic abuse. He defines it to include withholding sex. Not everyone would of course.

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I can sort of see his point...he wasn't talking about a once or twice thing. He was talking about all the time, for months at a time. In addition to manipulation etc... He dated another woman for about a year after his divorce but said he wasn't ready for anything serious. Right now, Im just trying to be his 'happy place'. Whatever that means..

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I can sort of see his point...he wasn't talking about a once or twice thing. He was talking about all the time, for months at a time. In addition to manipulation etc... He dated another woman for about a year after his divorce but said he wasn't ready for anything serious. Right now, Im just trying to be his 'happy place'. Whatever that means..

 

Like I wrote he is entitled to his definition and you are entitled to agree or otherwise. I just don't think proclaiming that "domestic abuse is a dealbreaker" is at all surprising - I would hope that's obvious to most people!

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So today we were joking on Ftime and we got interrupted so I had to call back, then blurted out ' I gotta be able to talk to my man'....lol...it just came out. So he said ' so, Im your man?? ' and I said..' ..well. I guess now you are! Lol' smooth huh?? we both laughed...then he said ' well, I guess that means you're my girl'.........awwwwww!!!! Im a happy girl tonight.....

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I'm glad you like the approach -doesn't work for everyone. I was referring to your assumptions about what kind of person he is based on what he says to you. I think it's always a good idea to wait before having sex of course and that helps with not getting emotionally attached too early but my comments had nothing to do with whether you were choosing to have sex yet or not . Interesting what he chose to share with you about his sex life with his ex wife. You've only been on one date so far, right? Doesn't sound like you're waiting a long time at all.

 

Wow didn't realize they have only had one "in person" date.....

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Yep....and another one this Monday (my birthday)...then next week we have a movie date planned. We planned it this way mostly because of our schedules, but we wanna go slow. We are both ok with this arrangement.....for now.

 

I honestly don't see the huge deal about an in person date. We FaceTime each other pretty much every day..call, and text. There is constant communication. When we FaceTime sometimes we are actually both working or doing other stuff, so it's almost as if we are 'hanging out'..only it's via video.

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Yep....and another one this Monday (my birthday)...then next week we have a movie date planned. We planned it this way mostly because of our schedules, but we wanna go slow. We are both ok with this arrangement.....for now.

 

I honestly don't see the huge deal about an in person date. We FaceTime each other pretty much every day..call, and text. There is constant communication. When we FaceTime sometimes we are actually both working or doing other stuff, so it's almost as if we are 'hanging out'..only it's via video.

 

No need to get so defensive sweetie.. am actually happy for y'all. It's just the way you've been describing your relationship.. (i.e. he's your man...you're his girl)....I assumed you had spent more in person time together. My bad.

 

Have fun next Monday! And Happy B'day!

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Yep....and another one this Monday (my birthday)...then next week we have a movie date planned. We planned it this way mostly because of our schedules, but we wanna go slow. We are both ok with this arrangement.....for now.

 

I honestly don't see the huge deal about an in person date. We FaceTime each other pretty much every day..call, and text. There is constant communication. When we FaceTime sometimes we are actually both working or doing other stuff, so it's almost as if we are 'hanging out'..only it's via video.

 

In my humble opinion there is no way facetime can ever replace in person time for someone you just started dating, especially. It perpetuates the idealization and fantasy aspects of interacting online even if you talk about meaningful stuff. Much safer/less vulnerable to not be in person for one thing. I don't think going slowly has to mean not seeing each other in person regularly (once a week or so in the beginning). Totally understand about your schedules, completely disagree about your view of face time as a substitute for dating someone and getting to know the person through dating the person.

Have fun on your dates! I am happy for you too that you two are having so much fun flirting/bantering/all the sweet romantic talk!

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So today we were joking on Ftime and we got interrupted so I had to call back, then blurted out ' I gotta be able to talk to my man'....lol...it just came out. So he said ' so, Im your man?? ' and I said..' ..well. I guess now you are! Lol' smooth huh?? we both laughed...then he said ' well, I guess that means you're my girl'.........awwwwww!!!! Im a happy girl tonight.....

 

fab fab fab fab

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No need to get so defensive sweetie.. am actually happy for y'all. It's just the way you've been describing your relationship.. (i.e. he's your man...you're his girl)....I assumed you had spent more in person time together. My bad.

 

Have fun next Monday! And Happy B'day!

 

Thanks WG...I see your point. We both have struggled with not seeing each other sooner.. We are realizing it's too long I between which is a great sign I think seeing him on Ftime just makes me wanna kiss him lol....

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