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a testcase for finding the issues


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Not too much new to report over here!

 

Went on a business trip which wasn't much fun. Turned over another year. Feel like I'm getting old. Still seeing too many girls. I like two of them very much. Not sure if I'd like a serious relationship with either. I think one I couldn't have because of her situation, maybe the other I could but I'm not sure if I would. Dating a third girl. Been on two dates, haven't kissed. She's probably not that interested. I shouldn't be either. That's about that.

 

I have plenty of things to focus on that aren't dating. I'm in a pretty good zone, where I'm dating a lot. That's no reason to pass on other things I'd like to get done. If this falls apart I can absolutely seeing myself take a break. Honestly?? I think that'd be great for me!

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So I asked out L earlier today. I talked about her a few pages ago but I dated her for a while. Things did not go well. I was recently out of a long relationship and I don't think I was as ready as I believed I was. We had a bad falling out at the end. I said some harsh words / real stuff. Saw her about a month ago after a long hiatus. Was great to talk to her and she left the door open.

 

I'm honestly excited to hang out with her again. I always felt we had unfinished business. At this point I blame myself. I wasn't making the moves I'd make if I was completely unattached. I broke up with my ex, but I always felt guilty dating another girl. Especially so shortly after. My slacking, lead her to confusion. She basically friendzoned me because of my actions. We'll see how the date goes. I don't have time for bs. I think it'll go well.

 

Aside from that I hope to do a lot of drinking this month for St Patricks Day!! Should be a lot of outdoorsy drinking going on tomorrow. I'll be happy to take part!

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Well damn. So M just emailed me out of the blue. Of course this happens while I'm talking to 4 other girls!!!! Damnit. Things are already way too complicated for me. I didn't need this right now. With that said that two month relationship was about as happy as I'd been in a long time. I don't think she was good at communicating, and she seemed pretty selfish. Still she was about the smartest, most beautiful girl I've dated in some time. It was refreshing and I always enjoyed her company. It's like everything was so easy then BAM out of nowhere it ended.

 

I'm going to respond and see if I can meet up with her sometime. It'd be good to catch up. I'd be weary though if we started dating again. I guess I'd have to ask, and figure out, what the hell happened.

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Well I reached out to M. Her responses were kind of cold. I'm really not sure why. She reached out. I tried to be friendly and get a conversation going. She didn't really lend much to that. Then I saw we matched on Tinder. I guess it wasn't really a surprise as she emailed saying she saw me on Tinder. She unmatched me just a few hours later. Honestly . I sent a not very nice email. I really don't appreciate her popping up after not talking to me for 6 months. Then instantly she doesn't even try to keep the conversation going? What the hell was going through her mind.

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So after clearing things up M just reached out to say hi. I mean not even exchange a few emails. Only asked how I was doing and didn't really care for a response. I'm really trying to take the high road here.... but I wish I could tell her what's on my mind. It would have a lot o curse words in it that's for sure.

 

I asked why the hell did she reach back out. She said just to say hi and nothing more. I could have gone off on her I really could have. I don't want to hear hi from her. I don't give two s**ts about her and I was focusing on the other girls I've been talking to. The only time I want to her from her is if she has an apology for being ridiculously selfish. I'm sure that'll never happen so here's hoping I never hear from her again.

 

What I have learned is if an ex reaches back out again I'm just going to ignore it. I also learned if I feel like reaching out to an ex... I'm not going to do it. Maybe it was an ego stroke for her? I wouldn't stoop that low.

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Thanks reinventmyself!!! I'll def keep moving forward. Almost forgot it already.

 

So I went out with... I don't know what I've called her. Li. This is the girl I've basically cursed out for friend zoning me. Last time I saw her she just got out of a serious relationship. She met the guy at a bar while she was supposed to be meeting up with me. Needless to say when I found out about it I was super pissed and.... Well whatever that was a long time ago. So I saw her again tonight. A year later maybe? The dude just broke up with her a 3rd time two weeks ago. I was like what are the freaking odds every time I see this girls she's just broken up with the same dude???

 

So honestly I had a lot of fun. She looks great. I didn't make a move. I won't reach back out. I can't believe it. I probably could have kissed her if I was aggressive. But first time I've seen her in forever and she's talking about the guy that just broke up with her 2 weeks ago? I wasn't talking about the 4 girls I'm seeing. Shuuuuuuuuut.

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So I think I lost my FWB. Looks like she's ignoring my FB messages and has another FWB now. I'm not super happy about that, but I knew it would happen. So basically two weeks ago I was talking to about 6 girls. Now it looks like I'm talking to one. One that I'm not sure if I'm attracted to. That's the sacrifice I had to make and I made. I think I'll still be single, and back to ground 0 with 0 girls, in a month or so.

 

So this month has sucked. Lots of girls. Not interested in many of them. Sacrificed a great FWB to see what was happening in a relationship I don't think I'm feeling. I guess you never can know if the choices you're about to make are the right ones. You can certainly be more educated than I've been.

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Lots of things going on today!

 

Had my first review at my new company. Was wondering how it'd go. They said they were happy with my work... so that's awesome. Didn't get a raise. I will get "cost of living" increase in a few months. Who knows how much that'd be. Regardless of how it went I'm happy to have a job and I honestly don't need a raise.

 

I ended things with my FWB today. It was a text I've been dreading to send. I think at the end of the day it went better than I could have imagined. If I find myself single again I will hit her up. My only regret is that it ended before it even ever really began. I've been regretting sending this text for week and she couldn't have been more respectful, and cooler, about things ending than she was. I'll honestly miss her in many ways.

 

I think I'm going to focus on L. I'm not sure where the relationship will go, honestly. I'll try to be as serious as I can about it on here. What I do know? She's worth my time now. I'm pretty excited about how it'll be.

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Oh and in some non super selfish news I should start tutoring soon. I'm super excited to see how that's going to go. I'll be staring off teaching math to kids in my city. I've never quite done anything like this, but I'm excited to help in anyway I can. Hopefully it'll be an awesome stress free experience!!

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I'm ready for this week to be over. For some reason I've felt super busy recently. Like I haven't had time to pursue me hobbies or do the things I want to do. I spend a lot of time with L and the fact that we've kind of settled in to a routine, and we're seeing each other a lot, has probably lent itself to that. It's been a long time since I've seen someone this frequently and it's actually making me feel a little uncomfortable. Not that I'm uncomfortable when I hang out with her, but I feel like it's putting more pressure on things to go a certain direction I'm not quite sure I'm ready for them to go.

 

In a lot of ways I've felt pretty overwhelmed recently in my life. It's been go, go, go for so long. I always tell myself I need to take a break. Take a break from drinking, going out with friends, dating. I feel like if I could refocus and spend some time to myself it'd be great for me. My career has been tough recently... I should probably be putting more focus on my work and studies. I've been really trying to get in shape but I put that aside too often for dating or hanging out with friends. I just need to step back. If things don't work out with L that's absolutely what I intend to do.

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Not much new going on here. Still seeing L but I think I'm going to have to end it soon. I really hate that. We've been seeing each other for a month and I get along better with her than anyone I have in a long, long time. There's just too many red flags and I don't feel like my feelings are where they should be for more than a month. Maybe I'll give it a few more weeks then make my decision... but it's not looking good. I also don't want to waste her time. Her and I have been open about where we are in life, what we're looking for, and time wasting. Neither of us want it... so while I maybe not be sure I'm ready to let her go... if I'm not sure I want to keep her I should absolutely let her go. Maybe then I can take that break from dating I've been thinking about. I'd certainly miss the hell out of her.

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^^Aww, that sucks. Least you tried though. What are the red flags?

 

Hmm I don't know. I guess it's a bunch of things. She doesn't seem like she really accepts how often I go out. I believe she also wants to spend more time with me when I need some time to myself. She's seemed fine about it but when she's been drinking she's made some remarks questioning why I'm not spending that time with her. We're really just complete opposites and while that works for everything that we've had so far. I'm not sure it'd work long term. I mean we poke constant fun at each other which is great, but there's definitely been times where things are serious and the tone has been exactly the same. I just don't think we're handling everything the best way.

 

Plus it's been more than a month and I'm still on the fence. I feel like at this point I shouldn't really have many questions. Even if I'm questioning some things about her if I was 100% into her they'd be in the back of my mind, not right upfront. So I guess I feel like at this point in my life if I'm not there I gotta cut it off super early so she can get right back out there dating again. I know she'll be pissed off... but I can't drag this out throughout the summer if nothing's going to change. Ain't nobody got time for that.

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Just got in from a night out. Wow... every time I feel so old. You want to feel old? Go to the hip part of your city on a Thursday, Friday or Saturday night in your 30s. It's a wake up call.

 

I want to be done with this bs. I look at other people and I have nothing in common with them. I'm successful, not bad looking, decent human being. Why am I in my 30s and single. Why don't I have a family, or why am I not working towards that?

 

Maybe that'll never happen for me. I can accept it. One thing I can't do is stay where I am. Living this life now. Where I shouldn't be.... regardless of where I am in life.

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I've had this feeling. Ick. I think it usually means I need to go to bed, go to a group wotk out session where I'm sure to get some good vibes, and change up my routine.

 

Haha absolutely. I'll be hitting up the gym this weekend. Been going 3 times a week. Feeling pretty great! Now I just have to get my diet in check. That's always been the tough part for me. If I can drop 30 pounds now I'll be in the best shape of my life. It's not tough. Just have to give up all the food/drinks I love.

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Haha absolutely. I'll be hitting up the gym this weekend. Been going 3 times a week. Feeling pretty great! Now I just have to get my diet in check. That's always been the tough part for me. If I can drop 30 pounds now I'll be in the best shape of my life. It's not tough. Just have to give up every food I love.

 

 

ha yes. I like the Lose It app for fitness management, and find I'm not using it now. .. because I don't wanna know.

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Had a huge fight with L Friday night. I'm still seeing her but I was certainly not happy then. I think, for as early as things are, we fight too much. She said she feels like I'm looking for trouble... or trying to find fault in things. Maybe she's right. I haven't been sure about things so I've been very hesitant to take the leap you need to take in a new relationship. We have something planned next weekend, and I'm sure i'll see her once or twice before that, so I'll keep my eye on things. I'm not ready to end things cause I really enjoy hanging out with her and the chemistry we have. I'm not ready to commit to a relationship cause of all the arguments we've had. I'm sure I'll have to make a decision one way or the other soon.

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What was the fight about?

 

Why do you seem to fight with her a lot? you're only a month in and if you argue, that doesn't bode well. I'm only 2 months in with Tyler and I don't think we've actually argued. I don't even think we've had a heated disagreement.

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Um this fight started with my drinking. Which has actually been an issue before. I don't think she's comfortable with how much I drink and I'm trying to figure out how I feel about that. I'm ok with my drinking in social settings. If it's a Friday night and I'm having fun on a date I don't really have plans to cut back. It got more heated later in the night because... well basically her and I are opposites. So most of the time we poke fun at each other and it's what makes our chemistry so good. When it's something that's serious I think we have trouble deciphering it. I feel like I like more time to myself than she does. So if we're both not doing anything she wonders why I don't want to hang out with her and she's gotten upset with me over that. I just like time to myself to recharge. Sometimes I need a night off.

 

She's meeting my friends this weekend for the first time. That should be a good test and honestly, and more importantly, a great time. I think these things above. I don't know if I can work past the complete opposites thing. I've had relationships where I've fought all the time. I've had them where I've never fought. While I honestly enjoy both for different reasons... I think for long term sanity you need one where you barley fight.

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There is no reason to fight hardly ever.fighting usually means someone doesn't feel listened to and the conversation escalated in a bid for attention and legitmacy.

 

I am a fan of similarities. Maybe not in looks etc., but in spirit.

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So not dating related I have to drop some weight. I'm trying to drop 20 pounds by end of May. I think I'm going to have to go low carb and cut my drinking in half. I've been going to the gym 3 times a week and lifting more. I feel like I'm getting stronger. I don't look too terrible. I just have a gut I have to get rid of. Diet's always the toughest part for me cause I love food. I know what has to be done though so I'm going to stop making excuses.

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Holy smokes I need to figure things out. We hung out all day Friday and argued on and off throughout the day. At the end of the night we tried to mend things as we've done before, great sex. Needless to say I just wasn't feeling it this time. I list my mojo halfway through and things just stopped. She was very upset.

 

Hopefully that doesn't happen again.

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