testcase Posted January 30, 2015 Author Share Posted January 30, 2015 Ya. I'm going to stay in touch. I won't just disappear. I'll see if the opportunity ever comes up for a relationship. You know honestly... I think it's just been timing. If it's ever going to happen it'll be sometime soon. Cause I just don't see myself as single 5+ years from now. I'm getting to that point in my life where I'm ready to grow up a bit, so to speak, and start the next phase. I know nothings guaranteed but I'm going to give it my best. I skipped the gym tonight which I feel terrible about! At least I did a lot of quality cleaning. Hopefully I can wake up early and get to the gym before work. I've planned on going before work about 1000 times in the past. I've never done it once! Hopefully 2015 will be the year. I'm definitely not a morning person. Link to comment
testcase Posted January 31, 2015 Author Share Posted January 31, 2015 Ug this J situation is seriously pissing me off tonight. Going to go out and have a fun time. I think I'm done with this. I don't know how you're supposed to compete for a girl who doesn't care and is just trying to date as much as she can. What can you do there? I guess you can be a sucker... maybe, just maybe, if you hang around long enough you'll get lucky and be the one. Or you can move on and find something better without any of the bs. Link to comment
testcase Posted January 31, 2015 Author Share Posted January 31, 2015 Two weeks ago I was talking to I think 5 girls. Now it looks like none. I guess that's how dating goes! Just found out the other night a friend was seeing the same girl I went on a date with. I thought that was pretty hilarious. The timing played out that we were definitely seeing her at the same time. He's had more luck with her then I did. Guess I wont see her again after all!! I really do hate tinder. Link to comment
testcase Posted February 3, 2015 Author Share Posted February 3, 2015 So I went kind of crazy on tinder today messaged a basically most of my matches who are still active. Think I'm going to try to set up one date this week from Tinder, and I'm going to set up one date next week from eHarmony. The tinder girl is much younger than anyone I've dated in a while... so I'm not quite sure what to expect there. I'll just hope I can still make it a fun date. The girl from eHarmony gave me her # so I'll give her a call. That actually seems really promising as we seem in to similar things, both have decent careers. Who knows. I'm excited. I might try to set up a date with J tomorrow. I'm giving up the hope of dating her seriously. At this point if I can hook up with her a few more times I'd be happy with that. It's sad I think it could actually be a really fun relationship, but my eyes are wide open now. That's not happening between her and I. I'm putting in a great effort to get fit. I'm working hard to date lots of other girls. Hopefully I'll find someone new soon. Cause putting any kind of focus on J. At least for me? Is completely unhealthy. I'm really wondering if it was a good thing we got back in touch. A month or more ago I thought it was amazing. Now I don't know. Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted February 3, 2015 Share Posted February 3, 2015 hey testcase . .I just now noticed your dating journal. Isn't that they way it is? .One minute, too many to juggle and the next. . silence. J seems to be causing you a lot of frustration. I can tell you like her, but it is worth it? Link to comment
testcase Posted February 4, 2015 Author Share Posted February 4, 2015 hey testcase . .I just now noticed your dating journal. Isn't that they way it is? .One minute, too many to juggle and the next. . silence. J seems to be causing you a lot of frustration. I can tell you like her, but it is worth it? Ya that's just how it goes! You know I really don't know anymore. I think she's an incredibly amazing woman. One in a million as the expression goes. But the stress this situation is causing me isn't good. I've actually experienced this with her a few times before. Each time I've reached the conclusion it wasn't going to happen and I walked away. I don't think there's a right move honestly. In the past if I've moved on and I've been in other relationships that haven't fulfilled me... and to be honest when I was in those I thought about J from time to time. Maybe they just weren't the right ones. I'm going on a date this weekend and one next week. They have the same name so I'll call them St and eS. I guess we'll see!!! I'm honestly really excited about eS because she looks amazing on paper, so to speak. Beautiful, great job, similar interests. I'm going to call her tomorrow to set up the date so I'll see if our conversation flows. St also seems like she'll be easy to get along with and have fun with. She's definitely much younger than I am so that's about the only thing worrying me currently. I guess I'll see how it goes! Link to comment
testcase Posted February 4, 2015 Author Share Posted February 4, 2015 Whoops I was going to edit my last post but I guess I have to write a new one. I was commenting in luxurylover's post and I'm not sure if I've talked about it here. I think I have. I believe I'm going to start volunteering soon. I'm really excited about it. I begun inquiring about it about a week ago and it's been incredible how fast it's been moving since. The excitement of others, in what I'm trying to do, is definitely contagious. I've always felt like I had a calling to do something else... but at this point in my life it just wouldn't make sense financially. If I can't do what I'd like to do directly, I can still be involved in it... I can give my time away for free. Link to comment
testcase Posted February 5, 2015 Author Share Posted February 5, 2015 Uggg feeling real iffy tonight. Just need to hit the hay. So I tried to call eS tonight. Just got the machine. She knew I was calling. I left a, very nervous not great, message. I'm a little ticked off that I didn't at least get a text back or call back. Again she knew today I was going to try to talk to her. Whatever was really looking forward to talking to her, I got nothing. Went to a local bar with friends. There were two super attractive girls there. Ran in to another friend. Basically I was talking to this one girl and this other, super creepy dude, was also talking to her. In the end she wanted to talk to me.... but she really seemed like a tease. I got her # cause her friend was dragging her out of there super early. Text her a bit after. She basically said a phrase where she didn't seem interested... aka something about friends. I text back a phrase saying if you want x hit me up. I don't feel great about it. That's not who I am and I don't think I've ever sent a text like that. I guess I'm also no girls "friend." Especially not a girl I just met at a bar. Maybe the only way I'd be a girls friend is if she was on this forum or married to a friend. That's about it. We'll see. I'm sure I'll honestly feel bad about it a while. I guess what I need to come to terms with was I probably wasn't talking to her after tonight. If I made a strong move that wasn't reciprocated well.... to fin' bad. Sometimes I feel like. You have all these "alpha males" talking all this crap. I honestly want to smack some of them in the face. The stuff they say! Does that work??? I witnessed it tonight. Didn't work on this girl. She seemed like she wanted away from that and to talk to me. She did. I got her number. I text something stupid. Is that any better? I'm not normally that way. Still I'd never say that crap this was saying. I just... is there girls that works on? Probably not in there 30s. Early 20s?? Maybe. Uggg. You want to lose your faith in humanity watch a "bro" try to hook up with a girl. Link to comment
testcase Posted February 5, 2015 Author Share Posted February 5, 2015 So this is separate. Hate to post two in a night but I'm about to hit the hay and what the "hay". No pun intended. What does money matter? I was going to post this a few nights ago but I guess there's never the perfect time. What does money matter? I spent years prolonging an engagement to get in the "right place in life." Now I'm there an no one gives a shiz. What does it matter? Whenever I date girls they have no idea how much I make. My salary doesn't get me more dates. Hasn't kept any women longer than they've wanted to be with me. I guess I'm just asking what it matters! Why we all strive for more money. And if I was making a ton of money for my age... why doesn't that help with dating in the least? I mean I guess it could help pay for dates. Girls don't notice hey this guy. He's stable with a lot of money I want to date him. I think throughout my life 3 girls have known what I make. Non of them have cared. Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 You get in a better place financially and emotionally . .for you. Not for them. They benefit from it. . Link to comment
testcase Posted February 6, 2015 Author Share Posted February 6, 2015 You get in a better place financially and emotionally . .for you. Not for them. They benefit from it. . You're right. I was actually talking with a friend earlier about the same things. I do too much for others. I care too much what other people think. Honestly it's no good. I talked to eS tonight. Great conversation.... very much looking forward to the date which I have on Wednesday. I think we're in a similar place. Both attractive. Who the hell knows. I also have a date with Ke on Monday night. She also seems super awesome. Very artsy, which I love. Works at a museum... very far away. Whatever I'm super excited about meeting her. I also have a Date Saturday night with Sa. She's way younger... but beautiful. We'll see how the date goes. So just for fun... what if I had a Valentine? I suppose, currently, if I had a valentine? eS would be it. Right ton the same page with me. Beautiful. Funny. We'll see in a few months. Now I'm glad everyone who showed up did!!! Link to comment
happpybear Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 yay, lots of options!! Have fun and good luck! Link to comment
testcase Posted February 7, 2015 Author Share Posted February 7, 2015 yay, lots of options!! Have fun and good luck! Thanks!! I might have one more date on Sunday too. Going to be an expensive week. I'm getting the feeling the date tonight might cancel. Just a hunch.... but I'm excited about all of these dates. So I've been thinking of switching from the beard to a goatee. No real reason expect for the fact EVERYONE has a beard now. When's the last time you've seen a goatee? I dunno maybe the 90s or something. Personally I do think I like the beard better... but goatees work pretty well with a shaved head. I don't know. Not going to do anything for a while. Just a thought as I see more and more people with beards. All these people with beards and full heads of hair? Greedy lol. Link to comment
happpybear Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 Beard are so in right now. I love it. But ya, change it up if you want to. If it's not working, you can always shave or grow it all back! oh god I love beards and facial hair of any kind. If I was a dude, I would have some silly fun with my facial hair. I would grow some bushy mutton chops, I would grow a mustache that connects with my sideburns, lmao. This would probably not yield too many dates though Link to comment
testcase Posted February 7, 2015 Author Share Posted February 7, 2015 Hahaha probably not! I dunno I'm slightly limited cause I shave my head. Can't have the mustache to muttonchops coming from nowhere lol. I have done Movember the past few years so I'll probably rock a sweet mustache in November. All I know is I do have some kind of facial hair cause I think having a shaved head with no facial hair at all is just weird.... but that's just me. Link to comment
testcase Posted February 8, 2015 Author Share Posted February 8, 2015 Well my date last night was a no show. I didn't really mind but was slightly upset cause I had to drive about 30 minutes to meet her. Oh well on to the next. I figured with 4 dates scheduled in a week about half of them would cancel. So after the no show I went to a friends BDay party where I saw L. Honestly it was nice to see her, and I was worried it might be weird. L and I dated for a while but things were always awkward. Looking back it was RIGHT after my year and a half relationship ended and I just was not in the right place to date. I liked her a lot... but I just couldn't make a move cause at the time I thought I was going to get back together with my ex. Well needless to say I got myself friendzoned and wasn't happy about it. Stopped talking to her for a while... we hung out a few months later and it did not go well. I had some built up resentment from the friendzoning and, to put it as lightly I can, I let her know about it. Needless to say we haven't talked or hung out since that night. It's been about a year? So it was good to see her last night. Of course at the end of the night when I was leaving she was saying we should grab a drink and catch up. I'm not sure what to think about that. I mean I'd definitely like to.... just don't want a repeat of what happened last time. Ah so after leaving that party met up with a friend in a different part of town. This is for happpybear! If I was at a bar with ~200 people at least half of us had beards! I mean I was just shocked. I was probably the only one there without hair lol. What are the odds. But we all had beards. So I'm moving closer to going with a goatee or maybe a mustache. I saw 0 mustaches. That'd be a bold move. Haha maybe I'll make that a topic of conversation on the rest of my dates this week. See what they think. I do think the beard looks the best on me. Link to comment
happpybear Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 Wow, that is so rude! I don't understand how people just don't show up? Did you guys confirm the date beforehand? I would be pissed too if I had to go out of my way to meet someone like you did. as for L, I think you should go out and catch-up. I like the sound of the town you live in, all the beards!!! Haha, if I was in that bar I think my head might of exploded, lol. i think you should rock a Magnum P.I. mustache ] I mean...that is one fine specimen of a mustache, it's just so manly Link to comment
testcase Posted February 8, 2015 Author Share Posted February 8, 2015 Haha ya. I mean I have rocked the mustache the past for years for a month. I don't know about making it an every day thing but maybe I need to! You just have to go to the artistic part of the city to find beards and flannel a plenty! It was nice to get back there. I used to live in that neighborhood for a few years... but since I've moved away I haven't been back much. Crazy how something so close seems so far away when you move down the road. I think if none of these dates pan out this week I'll shoot L a text next week and see if she wants to catch up. I mean I'd hope she'd know I'm interested in more than friends after how things ended last time. I skipped the gym today. Pissed off at myself that I did that again. I really gotta cut the drinking in half, at the very least. These hangovers can ruin a whole day and it's just not worth it. Link to comment
testcase Posted February 9, 2015 Author Share Posted February 9, 2015 Just had a date with... well I don't think I ever gave an initial. Haha I won't. It was a lot of fun but I just wasn't attracted. She seems interested in meeting up again, but I won't. Going to focus on my other dates. I think I've realized tonight 5'7 is my cut off for height in someone I'd ideally like to date.... and to be honest that'd reaaaaaally be pushing it haha. Sa got back to me about missing the date. She seems super sorry. I actually think it was just a big misunderstanding so I'm going to try to set up another date with her tomorrow. I probably can't see her this week but I could try to get something going for early next week. I'm very much looking forward to my date with Ke tomorrow. It's far away but I really have had great chemistry whenever I've talked with her and I know I'll be attracted to her. I haven't talked to her since Friday but I'll toss her a text early tomorrow to make sure things are still good to go... and to finalize plans. Lastly I'm really excited for my date with Sa. The more I talk to her, via text, the more I feel like she's the one I'm going to have the most chemistry with. She sent me some pictures today while we were talking and she's just beautiful. I mean amazing. She's also really funny and we've been poking fun at each other over text. We'll see but wow... I can't wait for that date. Link to comment
testcase Posted February 9, 2015 Author Share Posted February 9, 2015 Soooo date tonight is not hitting me back. So far I'm 1 for 3 on the week. Actually sucks I was really looking forward to meeting her. She does live in a different city. So I guess it saved me a long drive. I'm going to let it go tonight but I'll text her tomorrow and suggest we still get together. If I don't hear back then... well then I know it's a no go. If Wednesday cancels then I'll be ticked. That's the date I've been looking forward to all week! I wish I knew this girl was going to fake tonight so I could of set it up for earlier than Wednesday. That's online dating for ya though. Plans don't mean shiz. I have to get to the gym tomorrow. I've taken too long a break and my diet has been borderline awful. I need to get those both in check ASAP. Summer will be here before we know it! Link to comment
happpybear Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 That's sucks! Whats with all the stupid flakes? I wonder if the chicks will stop flaking if you grow a Tom Selleck mustache Link to comment
testcase Posted February 10, 2015 Author Share Posted February 10, 2015 Hahaha! Maybe. My beard is getting kind of crazy. I think I'm going to let it go till spring then I'll figure out what to do next! I'm talking to the girl who flaked on Saturday and I think that was an honest mistake. We're trying to reschedule a date but we're both super busy this week. The girl tonight? Just straight up flaked. I dunno I mean this is mostly of Tinder. So I can't say I'm suprised! Link to comment
testcase Posted February 11, 2015 Author Share Posted February 11, 2015 Uneventful day over here. I text the girl earlier I'm going on a date with tomorrow... didn't hear back. I think that's kind of odd. I'll wait to see how the date plays out though. I mean she hit me up randomly here and there. So I definitely think it's weird that when I hit her up randomly today I never heard anything back? Also text the girl I got back in touch with a few weeks ago about our sport. I really think I dropped the ball on that. First night I reached out she was real responsive. Asking me about my dating, telling me her relationship situation. I mean I should have seen if she wanted to get together sometime. For some reasons I didn't. I'm not saying the door is shut on it. But talking to her today she definitely didn't seem as receptive. Ug I just dropped the ball. I guess the saying is true. So much easier to be forward with girls you don't really know / have nothing to lose with. Because she's on the same team I want to ask her out... but I'm over thinking it a bit as to not make anything awkward. I should just not worry about it and see if she'd want to do something. Link to comment
testcase Posted February 11, 2015 Author Share Posted February 11, 2015 Well my 4th and final date for the week, the only one I was really looking forward to tonight, canceled on me too. Last minute no less... I mean don't stop me from leaving work early. She went out with someone last night and they discussed exclusivity. I'm about as pissed as I could be. Felt like a punch in the gut. Didn't really care about the others too much but this one, I thought, no way she could cancel. Then she tells me she thinks I have a great personality all that crap. Who the hell wants to hear that when you're telling someone , ya we had these plans but I'm going to cancel them cause I was dating someone else the whole time. Surprise! "Hang in there." You've only been dating for the last decade. I'm sure the one for you is right around the corner.... Screw that! So ya 1/4 on the week. I'm just about done with dating. I'm so mad right now. It's like no one has ANY respect for my time. I push this date back till Wednesday cause I was supposed to have other dates before. They all cancel... then waiting till Wednesday makes it too late. I mean I'm a freakin' adult. I have no time as it is. Then I plan out what little time I have and no one respects it! I think I'm going to become a jerk. I mean what's the point of being a nice guy anymore? What good does it do? I had a date Sunday night. Not attracted to the girl at all, she had a great time. Maybe I should just fool around with her for a while. I mean sure it's selfish. Why shouldn't I be selfish? Everyone else is right? I'm so tired and burnt out from dating. The constantly pushing myself to make things happen. The constant let down. The competition. Good luck dating a girl who isn't talking to / dating 4 other guys. I'm just done with it. I'm going to get in the best shape of my life. I'm going to be a complete ahole for a year. After all the experiences I've had in my life with women, I think I've earned it. Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 ((hugs)) Times like this it's good to take break. Once you get on a cycle like this it tends to perpetuate. Give it rest. . Get some clarity and thought and reevaluate what your part in this may be. . Come back later. . and give it another go. I really believe the harder we try . .the harder it becomes Link to comment
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