New Update and Really Need Some Help!

[can1328]

well.. how great is this? I went on gmail to block her and I had an email from her. Subject line "The End". It is the most devastating e-mail I had to read. I shouldn't of read it but how could I not? It said how much she's appreciated all I've done for her. I was her rock and her best friend but she no longer has the physical and romantic attraction that she once had for me. She wanted to try to work on things recently thinking the feelings would come back but they didn't. SHe said she tried to hug and kiss me but she felt nothing. Now she wants a clean break. She said "maybe our paths will cross again some day" and that "I'll see her around" but she has no interest in pursuing anything with me any longer. Seeing it written out puts me all the way back. Why did she do that? Why did she need to tell me what I basically already knew?

 

Why is it when I go to move on and heal, stuff like this happens? I mean, I was literally logging on after lunch to block her e-mail.

[annie24]

ugh. well then if it's the end, why was she wanting to go to counseling today??? games games games. ugh. i'm sorry you had to read that. hang in there. please take some time to heal, and yes, block her now, you don't need to respond.

[WithLove]

It was her last-ditch effort into making what she's done to you not seem so bad, so that she can live with herself.

 

Keep your chin up, Can. things will get better. Concentrate on loving that adorable puppy and before you know it, you'll be thinking "Hmm, I want to go out and be social tonight."

[can1328]

It was her last-ditch effort into making what she's done to you not seem so bad, so that she can live with herself.

 

Keep your chin up, Can. things will get better. Concentrate on loving that adorable puppy and before you know it, you'll be thinking "Hmm, I want to go out and be social tonight."

 

 

I think that's right. She knows what she did. She was always the type to worry about what others think (that was put into the e-mail about some friends that were moving away from her.) I can't worry about this anymore. I'm making myself crazy. I can't believe how stone faced she's been about this. Like she really just doesn't care. Ugh. I'm feeling really low tonight. Hopefully this wound will heal soon. Or even if not completely, I want to forget her enough to move on with my life.

[can1328]

It was a long weekend but I battled through it and kept myself busy. I'm having trouble with a few things and would love some insight on if they will go away or how to cope with them. I have accepted that the relationship is over and that she is not coming back. (not that it would be healthy for her to anyway). Her hometown is a popular vacation area (Northern New Hampshire) where I used to go up and ski, hike, etc. I spent a lot of time up there with her and her family. I also spent time there with my family and friends before I met her. I now get a pit in my stomach when friends mention going away skiing for the weekend or go up north. I'm afraid to go because I just think of that as her territory where we have so many memories. Is the pit there because this is new? Will I always have to battle with that area because I associate it to her? It doesn't bother me going to my former ex gf's area of town at all but we only dated for a quarter of the time my recent ex and I were together. Has anyone had this same situation?

[WithLove]

This is new, so anything you see or anywhere you go will bring back some memories that include her. Until you've had time to process your split and start moving on, I fear you may experience some discomfort like this. After time, though, once your anger/sadness fades, so will the bad feelings of visiting places you've been with her. You may not ever get over it, but you most likely won't feel those hurtful 'pangs' that you're feeling now.

[YouCanDeleteThisAccount]

My situation is a bit different, but one of the most special times I had with my ex was when I took her to California to spend time in San Francisco and then Napa with some family. It was a very emotional thing for me to do because both places have a deeply rooted connection for me. It isn't somewhere I would take someone normally because it means so much to me, but I was positive she was the one.

 

This past summer my cousin, who lives there, got married and I took my kids there, which was after the breakup. I was worried that it was going to be a tough thing to do, but I stayed in the moment and still had a good time. Ultimately I was glad I did it

 

Don't let her control your emotions. Go and let it be a new experience. You'll have moments, but don't let her EVER stop you from doing what you want to do. Her memory is useless to you now. Do what you want, where you want...

[can1328]

Thank you for the advice. I did some things this weekend that we used to do together. It was very hard but I muscled through them and forced it. I guess the more I think of being scared to do them, the longer it will affect me.

 

I will not let her control my emotions. As time goes on, I guess the pit in my stomach will too.