What the hell does she want?

[Anonymous22]

So basically, my ex and I broke up 2 months ago. I ended the relationship due to the fact that she didn't prioritize our relationship when it wasn't good. She constantly lied to me, hid things from me, didn't make enough time for me, and I've come to realize now that she asked for thing. At the time I didn't mind because I did love her and cared for her, but sadly she used my love to get the things she wants.

 

I ended the relationship not only because I told her she had a lot on her plate, such as her school, family, and health issues that she had to attend to. I was basically the last on the list. So i told myself, why be in a relationship that only makes me feel lonelier than I was when I was single? Why be in a relationship with a person who doesn't respect me or love me by lying to me and hiding things from me? Why be in a relationship with a person who doesn't acknowledge my love and doesn't give that love in return? I asked these questions constantly... So I came to a conclusion of ending it. I gave this girl like 5 chances mostly her fault.

 

So I have moved on, but deep down inside me I felt like I've changed to a bitter person, I don't want love anymore, I think all women are the same, I get angry every time I think about love, I become really defensive when I grow closer to people or women, etc. my past relationships has effected me. (Ugh going off topic) I'm a sweet and nice guy, I get that from a lot of people. So this girl emailed me asking me if I have a calculator for her math class. I can't be the person who ignores or can treat anyone bad because i'm not like that. So I responded bluntly and said yea. She then asked me if i'm selling or if I could let her borrow it. I responded with a lie and said I don't know where I put it (In order to avoid seeing her). She said ok and that she was sorry for bugging. I responded bluntly and said no problem.

 

Question is; why is she messaging for a dumb reason, when in fact her sister has the same calculator I do?

 

P.S. Sorry for the grammar

[panther]

She probably is finding excuses to get in touch with you, very simple.

[SooSad33]

Hi Anon...

I know how you feel. Been there

 

I think she's just got her 'feelers' out there.. kinda checking up on you. Hoping to see if you'll reply, etc.

 

But.. you know the facts. You've picked up on it all and respected youreslf enough to admit you're not going to live that way.

But would rather have someone in your life who does respect you and gives back, whole heartedly.

Yes, we all deserve that.

 

I think what you're feeling/going through now is just the 'venting'. YOu're ticked off. You're feeling somewhat emotional about it now, right? You're feelings have been hurt from her actions & behaviour.

This is normal. And it's part of working on dealing with what you've gone through. You need to give it some time.

You're mind can very well change over again in a few months, once you've calmed down.

 

From now on I suggest you don't give in to those little nothings. You don't need any more emotional pull like this.

 

You can always consider some therapy if you feel you're way too emotional, etc. I've been there.

And even try journalling. Writing down your thoughts can help too.

 

But i feel you've done the right thing. You know what you deserve & backed away now from that mess.

 

One day at a time... you're not alone.

[Anonymous22]

She probably is finding excuses to get in touch with you, very simple.

 

Maybe so

 

Hi Anon...

I know how you feel. Been there

 

I think she's just got her 'feelers' out there.. kinda checking up on you. Hoping to see if you'll reply, etc.

 

But.. you know the facts. You've picked up on it all and respected youreslf enough to admit you're not going to live that way.

But would rather have someone in your life who does respect you and gives back, whole heartedly.

Yes, we all deserve that.

 

I think what you're feeling/going through now is just the 'venting'. YOu're ticked off. You're feeling somewhat emotional about it now, right? You're feelings have been hurt from her actions & behaviour.

This is normal. And it's part of working on dealing with what you've gone through. You need to give it some time.

You're mind can very well change over again in a few months, once you've calmed down.

 

From now on I suggest you don't give in to those little nothings. You don't need any more emotional pull like this.

 

You can always consider some therapy if you feel you're way too emotional, etc. I've been there.

And even try journalling. Writing down your thoughts can help too.

 

But i feel you've done the right thing. You know what you deserve & backed away now from that mess.

 

One day at a time... you're not alone.

 

I understand I mean if that's her case to check up on me I guess she now knows how I feel.

 

and wow you hit the rest right on point. I do actually feel kinda hurt now that I think about it, I just kind of blinded myself from hurt since I'm so used to the feeling. It honestly brought tears to my eyes just reading your response. In a good way though, it's like you said I'm venting. I guess the strong in my is kind of weakening and leaking out the hurt to start a new.

 

For now I feel better though, been keeping myself busy with my own concerns which is helping me move on too.

Thank you very much for your response! I really appreciate it

[Anonymous22]

Glad it helped.... like i said, i know how it feels.

I've been there too, with the many emotions.. the venting.. the thoughts, etc

 

Love/Life really sucks at times. Makes me wonder WHY we keep going there.. *sigh*.

 

I've learned to watch their actions, not words.

 

Listen to this..

]

 

Same here, It's nothing new to me to be honest just want others insight in it as well as like you said being able to vent.

 

Love can be unfair at times, but I mean we are only human beings who long to be accepted by someone. Apparently in today's era it's hard to find that.

 

Actions do speak louder than words of course

 

Wow that's a nice song I can kinda relate to it a lot! thank you for sharing that you are a great person with a great heart.

[SooSad33]

Same here, It's nothing new to me to be honest just want others insight in it as well as like you said being able to vent.

 

Love can be unfair at times, but I mean we are only human beings who long to be accepted by someone. Apparently in today's era it's hard to find that.

 

Actions do speak louder than words of course

 

Wow that's a nice song I can kinda relate to it a lot! thank you for sharing that you are a great person with a great heart.

 

Thank you