oznolag Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 I was dating my ex gf for about 8 months. I met her in college but im from CA and shes from AZ so over summer break the relationship went into a long distance relationship. The distance took a toll on us especially with our busy work schedules. I only got to see her one weekend where i surprised her and showed up at her door. All was great and we were so happy again to be together and all the pain and emotions went away from the distance. The final day that i was leaving though i found out something that really hurt me. She apologized after we talked and she realized how she hurt me and what she did. The problem was i didnt fully get over it, something that would come with time. I did forgive her but was still a little hurt but had to leave so we couldn't reach 100 percent. We tried talking more for my needed reassurance but just couldnt find the time (couldnt be over text). After about a week or so i test her by texting her as a guy we agreed she wouldnt talk to because of there past. I was not okay with this person talking to her. I guess all the emotions got to me because i cant believe i actually did that now and do regret it. I broke up with her because she talked to this "guy" and agreed to go hang out. I was so hurt when this happened and irrationally made the decision. She begged me not too break up and that she regretted it and was truly sorry but i still did it but a few days after she told me shes not sure if she needs to be sorry. We agreed to talk when we got back to school and tried giving each other space(we had about a month left of summer). We were on and off talking during this break. The time has come and we are going to talk later. I do want her back and am truly sorry. We were very serious and i wish i could take what i did back. I really am sorry but she has told me she still doesn't know if im being sincere. Im going to apologize and ask for forgiveness and hope we can work it out. I really am sorry. I kinda still feel i need an apology as well though. She had promised to not to talk to this person and lied and also to my face. Am i wrong to want a true apology from her?? Please i need advice. Link to comment
mhowe Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 You cannot make her promise to "not talk" to someone. You guys need to stay broken up. Neither of you is ready for a committed relationship. Stick to dating. And you "testing" her was just plain rude. Link to comment
Edmund Exley Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 That is probably the most immature thing I have read here in a while. mhowe is right, you need some time to learn to behave like an adult in a relationship. Link to comment
DancingFool Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 You have no right to tell her or anyone who they can and cannot talk to. You don't get to control people like that and it was out of line. Seems that she also came to realize that. Your insecurities are your problem and something you need to deal with internally. Trying to control another person and who they talk to is not a way to address your insecurities. Testing her the way you did...even more wrong. Personally, I think she'd be a fool to take you back and no, she doesn't owe you any apologies. The fact that you don't seem to understand how wrong your whole behavior is tells me that you need to keep away from her and have a lot of growing up to do fast before you are ready for a relationship. Link to comment
jjkk Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 Ultimately I think it's best you two stay broken up. As far as wanting an apology, of course it's natural to want to know someone you care about is sorry when they've lied to you or hurt you. I don't think you ought to expect it or ask for it, though. It may or may not happen. Even if she does apologize it doesn't change what's happened between you two and that it sounds like for the time being you're both better off not being in a relationship. Link to comment
SooSad33 Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 " The final day that i was leaving though i found out something that really hurt me. She apologized after we talked and she realized how she hurt me and what she did. The problem was i didnt fully get over it, something that would come with time. I did forgive her but was still a little hurt but had to leave so we couldn't reach 100 percent" - I think she has appologized enough. The rest is up to YOU to deal with. You're so far apart You don't trust her You've broken up. I don't see this working out, sadly Link to comment
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