Age Difference Does Work

[sanok21]

Hi

Just been reading a lot of posts on here about age diff relationships well im 50 and gf is 23 we have been together for over 3 years, yes i have got grown children from previous relationship. We discussed all of this before getting serious ive had vasectomy,i told her i did not want anymore children, she is a career girl got well paid job.

Yes we did have difficulties from her family in the beginning ( this i could understand especially as i am the same age as her father ) am sure they thought she was just abit of fun for me,but now we get on great when they invite her over they also include me in the invite.I cant speak for all the younger females out there.but for us it works.

There is no checking up on each other which seems to be an issue with other age diff couples, we actually share a lot in common. If she wants to go out with mates thats cool i go out with mine ,but 99% of the time we have the same set of mates of all ages.

It is true that age is only a number, sure the law of averages say i am gonna pop my clogs first but you cant waste time thinking about what might happen lifes too short,just enjoy this life how you can.

We have decided that if people in our lives are not happy for us..... then they no longer part of our lives.

[panther]

I am happy to read a happy story here for a change.

 

I have to disagree with you on the part where you state that age is just a number. Our ages represent also the amount of experience we had in our lives (well some people may be 40 and have the maturity of a 20 year old but lets not get into that). No matter how mature your 23 year old partner is, sha cannot possibly have the life experience you had.

 

Wish you all the best.

[lukeb]

I am happy to read a happy story here for a change.

 

I have to disagree with you on the part where you state that age is just a number. Our ages represent also the amount of experience we had in our lives (well some people may be 40 and have the maturity of a 20 year old but lets not get into that). No matter how mature your 23 year old partner is, sha cannot possibly have the life experience you had.

 

Wish you all the best.

 

Instead of saying that it does work it should be it can work. I think it is less about who is going to die first but just generally about goals and stages in life, and three years is really not all that long to be together. I do wish you the best in life, and yeah you may very well defy the odds and make it work in the long run.

[sanok21]

Instead of saying that it does work it should be it can work. I think it is less about who is going to die first but just generally about goals and stages in life, and three years is really not all that long to be together. I do wish you the best in life, and yeah you may very well defy the odds and make it work in the long run.

 

"Defy The Odds" we taking bets now lol.... well marriage is planned for next year, church reception and mothers hat booked so even tho i agree nothing is certain in life, but thanks for your wishes

[sanok21]

i agree she has not had life experience like i have, hence the age difference. I only posted on here to let people know that age difference relationships can work. thanks for you wishes

[Fudgie]

I've been in a few age difference relationships, largest being almost 40 years apart, and yeah, I believe it can work. I don't think it's for everyone though and one should fully consider the future implications (being a younger window, etc) before jumping in but if you can make it work, more power to you. Of course there's a difference in life experience but that's to be expected. The fact that there is a difference doesn't necessarily doom you. I wish you two the best of luck in your relationship and future marriage.

[Clio]

At 23, chances are that she is not really thinking about having children. Her feelings about having a family one day may very well change. Your age difference may not impact your life right now but wait till she is 43 and you are 70. Your relationship may be working for the time being but to say that it does work in the long run, you will need to overcome some very heavy stuff. Let's just say that it works 'in happiness' and 'in health', but you do not know about 'in sickness' and 'in old age'.

[sanok21]

At 23, chances are that she is not really thinking about having children. Her feelings about having a family one day may very well change. Your age difference may not impact your life right now but wait till she is 43 and you are 70. Your relationship may be working for the time being but to say that it does work in the long run, you will need to overcome some very heavy stuff. Let's just say that it works 'in happiness' and 'in health', but you do not know about 'in sickness' and 'in old age'.

and whats to say one of us doesnt get run over by bus next week??

Nobody knows what the furture brings, for age diff couples or same age group relationships ... All i put on here was Age diff relationships can work but once again people miss the point and focus on the what ifs

[mhowe]

I knew at 25 that I didn't want kids...and wanted to focus on my career. So^^^^^is not accurate. Not all women aspire to marriage and kids.

[panther]

and whats to say one of us doesnt get run over by bus next week??

Nobody knows what the furture brings, for age diff couples or same age group relationships ... All i put on here was Age diff relationships can work but once again people miss the point and focus on the what ifs

 

Many people would avoid such a relationship because of the ifs and the risks. Me included.

It is only natural that the people will state their point of view here, that is what we do here on ENA. Does not invalidate your choices and decisions.

I also disagree with things I read here all the time, that is just the way it is.

Hope you stick around on ENA though.

[Iggles]

It's true, no one knows what the future holds.

 

I do know that I was a different person in my early 20s than I am now. Gained life experience, different perspectives, and my politics have completely changed. I look back at my college days and while they were fun, I prefer my 29 year old life. If I married the guy I was seeing at 23, I know we would have divorced.

 

But that's my two cents.

 

Best of luck OP.

[sanok21]

Panther... thanks for you reply... i will be around for a long time lol unless the number 22 bus gets me lol

[SooSad33]

Or you get hit by lightning, or end up with a stroke, or fall off a ladder, or she... well, nevermind.

 

So, 3 years now, huh? Well, glad it's going well for you. How about you shoot us another msg in a year or 2 and let us know how all's going then..?

Are YOU fully supporting her at all? Or you both working?

 

Good luck

[mylolita]

Hi sanok21,

 

I've just come accross your post and I am 100% behind you on this.

 

I think in general, people are too quick to judge when it comes to age differences and having been on the end of it myself, I know how the judgement can feel!

 

What people sometimes forget is that you cannot help who you fall madly in love with. It's one of those crazy, chemical things in life. I happened to fall madly and deeply in love with a guy who was 9 years older than me. I was 18 and he had just turned 27. He's now my husband and we've lived together for 6 years. He was my first boyfriend, my first kiss, my first everything, and what can I say, I couldn't of had it any other way. If he had been 40 I would of still fallen madly for him. It was out of my control as these feelings often are.

 

I do understand where others come from regarding the laws of averages - yes, massive age gaps do have the odds statistically stacked against them, but especially on here, everyones cases have to be looked at on an individual basis. Only you and your girlfriend know how your relationship is and how you truly feel about each other, and it sounds as if you have a really optimistic, amazing attitude that I envy! Congratulations!

 

I genuinely wish you and your partner all the best for the future and a long and happy marriage.

 

No one choses or selects who they fall in love with, if it happens to be a younger woman or an older man or vice versa, well, it's no one else's business but your own. Everything's legal and you're all adults.

 

All the best,

 

Lo x

[annetteb]

My big question has always been 'he has so little life experience', but we are in true love with each other and our age gap is 32 years. It is a challenge

[LollipopGirl]

We have decided that if people in our lives are not happy for us..... then they no longer part of our lives.

 

 

[overthemoon86]

Hello!

 

I really like this post! And kudos to you, with that age difference you must come accross a lot of adversity more than the average couple so if you are able to rise above and stay together, that's awesome!

 

I have been in a couple of age gap relationships. (Certainly not as large of a gap as yours.) I am 26 and I dated a 35 year for a little while, we certainly had a lot in common, but our age difference was definitely a factor at times. I think he brought it up way more than I did. Currently, I am dating a 22 year old...we are four years a part. (Almost to the day.) At first, our age difference was a major topic of conversation, he thought I was so much more established than he was. (I live on my own, have a great paying job and he lives at home and is still in college.) We thought that was going to eventually break us up...just due to the fact that we are in different stages of our life. But to be honest, I have never been happier, we have been together for 4 months and it is going really well. Even though we are at different points, we both respect each others differences and it's almost kind of nice in a way. He keeps me young And he is honestly WAYYY more mature than any other guy I have met (he is even more mature than I am ). He is very respectful, responsible, and kindhearted. He has his priorities in line. Needless to say I am very smitten

 

So here is to us in age gap relationships....no matter what the gap is!

[annetteb]

I am also in an age gap relationship like yours (I am the oldest and he is the youngest). We are also mixing mates, but we see his a bid more. Sometimes I have difficulties, at least in my mind, when we go to parties at his friend’s places and their parents are there to ‘watch’ that all goes well. It is odd for me, are you experiences the same?? My boyfriend do also like I dress like girls his age when we go out with his mates – would love to hear from you and your experience.