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Met a guy--but he lives down the hall!

happpybear

By happpybear
in Dating Advice

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abitbroken Grand Master

abitbroken

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If this is a neighbor in a college dorm - well, he'll move at the end of the semester if it doesn't work or it works. I think that if this is a more permanent neighbor - i would not push for a date. Just casually get to know him slowly to make sure your initial infatuation is not getting the better of you and take time to get to know other people as well. If over time you find you have a lot more in common than pets or that he's cute, it will happen naturally but I would not focus on him and try to establish yourself and meet new friends and other neighbors.

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happpybear Community Regular

happpybear

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My friend met her husband on a rainy Valentine's Day -at night-so sure bet they were both single, right? - in their building's laundromat. The rest was history.

 

Awwww, the laundromat love story! oh god I tun into a mushball when I hear stories like this

 

I think I need to hang out in the laundry room more often.

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happpybear Community Regular

happpybear

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If this is a neighbor in a college dorm - well, he'll move at the end of the semester if it doesn't work or it works. I think that if this is a more permanent neighbor - i would not push for a date. Just casually get to know him slowly to make sure your initial infatuation is not getting the better of you and take time to get to know other people as well. If over time you find you have a lot more in common than pets or that he's cute, it will happen naturally but I would not focus on him and try to establish yourself and meet new friends and other neighbors.

 

lol, agreed!

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Iggy5129 Community Regular

Iggy5129

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I agree with your friends. In the world of dating the are two rules that have a very specific exception. Those rules are:

 

NEVER date a co-worker.

NEVER date a neighbor.

 

Now exception to these rules: You're leaving the company, or you're moving to a different house/apartment.

 

 

The "what if" isn't even worth the astronomical odds that your personal lives will negatively interfere being a neighbor that close, or a co-worker that you see daily.

 

I think this is so stupid. We can't help who we're attracted to. Hopefully you're mature enough to handle it if it doesn't work out. I've dated people from work and it was fine. Currently I'm dating my yoga teacher. Some people would say that's wrong but if it goes south I will deal with it like an adult. How else are adults supposed to meet potential partners if we can't date people from our every day lives? I say F society's "rules" and do what makes you happy as long as it doesn't hurt anyone.

 

Anyway, I say you go for it.

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happpybear Community Regular

happpybear

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I think this is so stupid. We can't help who we're attracted to. Hopefully you're mature enough to handle it if it doesn't work out. I've dated people from work and it was fine. Currently I'm dating my yoga teacher. Some people would say that's wrong but if it goes south I will deal with it like an adult. How else are adults supposed to meet potential partners if we can't date people from our every day lives? I say F society's "rules" and do what makes you happy as long as it doesn't hurt anyone.

 

Anyway, I say you go for it.

 

Ya, well I know that I am mature enough to handle it, even if we do get together and it ends badly, I would never do anything to cause drama or anything. We have a doggy play-date again soon so I'll have an opportunity to chat with him again

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mbee Enthusiast

mbee

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The guy I'm seeing and have been seeing for the past 4 months is my neighbor. He lives literally 2 steps from me. We met, he was super cute, I had just moved in, he didn't have many friends so we decided to hang out. Romantic sparks flew and there it goes. Many of my friends told me to be wary of dating a neighbor in case things go wrong. Well because of our odd situation... me leaving for Australia in a couple of months... we've had a few arguments and have needed space. Getting space was easy. Never saw each other, never invaded each other's privacy, etc. He's knocked on my door once during these "needing space" moments and it was exactly what I wanted him to do. Now I sleep over at his place almost all the time. I know that if things ended between us it would be fine, since we both know each other's schedules, know how to avoid each other if needed, and honestly I don't even anticipate that happening.

 

Trust me, it's worth it if he is indeed the love of your life. I'm not sure if this guy is the love of my life, but he just told me he loved me a few days ago and I love him too. Would have been a shame to have avoided all this just because of geographical location. Enjoy it if something happens!

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mbee Enthusiast

mbee

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well, that's a rare event, only happened once in my life. (compared to how many other men I've lived in the same apartment building with and how many HAVEN'T stalked me!)

 

Stalking can happen but doubt it will unless either of you are crazy or invite that drama. I do notice when my neighbor gets home but I've never mentioned it to him. There were a few times where he was home and didn't respond to my texts or whatever, but I never said anything to him or thought it meant anything. I'm very sure he knows when I'm home too but again, he never mentions it. I just know he notices since a few days I was very sick and worked from home and he commented on how my car hasn't left my parking spot and wanted to check if I was okay. Honestly, just give it a shot. Yes, there are negative worse case scenarios with dating a neighbor but if you are both mature adults it should be fine. Honestly, my biggest concern was dating him when we weren't exclusive. I've never seen a girl come over to his place once, but it did worry me when I was starting to really like him. Thankfully it didn't happen and after a few weeks we had to make that clear about exclusivity since it was a scenario neither of us were down for.

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Thorshammer Contributor

Thorshammer

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I used to joke with my friend about meeting sweet and caring women - i told him to be a manly straight "gay" guy. Talk deep, share all your feelings, be outgoing, compliment her - but dont show too much sexual interest (have to show some, because you are not gay, but way below normal)... and approach her like you dont give a crap (a gay guy wont be intimidated by a beautiful woman and would just go up to her and say, "hey, how are you?")

 

But... no, i am still paying for that joke.

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happpybear Community Regular

happpybear

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I used to joke with my friend about meeting sweet and caring women - i told him to be a manly straight "gay" guy. Talk deep, share all your feelings, be outgoing, compliment her - but dont show too much sexual interest (have to show some, because you are not gay, but way below normal)... and approach her like you dont give a crap (a gay guy wont be intimidated by a beautiful woman and would just go up to her and say, "hey, how are you?")

 

But... no, i am still paying for that joke.

 

haha, so it's funny because he was like this! We have hung out a few times over the past 2 weeks and I couldn't figure him out because he was super interested in my life, and seemed very caring (he helped me clean out my fridge after my power went out from the ice storm, helped me hang pictures etc) complimented me a lot, but there was no flirting/touching whatsoever, and I was stating to think that maybe he had friend-zoned me....and I guess so, because he likes dudes, lol.

 

Damnit! I had my fingers crossed for you. Oh well, onwards and upwards!

 

It's ok, we would never have been compatible anyway even if he was straight--he doesn't even like Game of Thrones...lol j/k

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annie24 Grand Master

annie24

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I used to joke with my friend about meeting sweet and caring women - i told him to be a manly straight "gay" guy. Talk deep, share all your feelings, be outgoing, compliment her - but dont show too much sexual interest (have to show some, because you are not gay, but way below normal)... and approach her like you dont give a crap (a gay guy wont be intimidated by a beautiful woman and would just go up to her and say, "hey, how are you?")

 

But... no, i am still paying for that joke.

 

so true! i have 2 gay neighbors. whenever i see them, they are so nice to me, compliment me, take an interest in my life... they're very handsome and well dressed too.

 

too bad the reverse doesn't work - i can't act like a lesbian to get more guys interested. oh wait, nevermind... haha

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