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Met a guy--but he lives down the hall!


happpybear

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Thoughts on dating someone that lives a few doors down from you, on the same floor of an apartment building?

 

I met a neighbor a few days ago that is seriously cute and very nice! We met a few days ago and chatted (for 2 hours) yesterday when our dogs played together at a doggy play-date hosted by a neighbor. I know that he lives alone and I'm pretty sure he is single (didn't mention an SO when I asked him about his Xmas etc.). I don't know his age but I suspect he might be a few years younger than me. So it turns out that he lives on the same floor as me but down the hall and around the corner.

 

So I know that it is still way to early to think anything may happen here (but I like to think ahead) and I am unsure if dating a neighbor is a good idea....it's a big building, but we are just a few doors away

 

My friends say not to bother and keep it platonic just because if it goes sour, well, he is my neighbor and I would likely see him a lot.

 

Anyone have any thoughts on this one?

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What if he's the love of your life and you lose him just because he's a neighbour?

 

lol, ya I know, eh? Part of me gets all silly romantic, like what if he is my future husband, lol. But then the logical part of me sees the potential issues with dating someone who lives right close by

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It's always better to know one way or another than to wonder what if. (Advice I have gotten many many times, and it's the best advice in my opinion).

 

And you know what there is nothing wrong with being a silly romantic at times, I wish I got to dabble in that more often.

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lol, ya I know, eh? Part of me gets all silly romantic, like what if he is my future husband, lol. But then the logical part of me sees the potential issues with dating someone who lives right close by

 

I agree with your friends. In the world of dating the are two rules that have a very specific exception. Those rules are:

 

NEVER date a co-worker.

NEVER date a neighbor.

 

Now exception to these rules: You're leaving the company, or you're moving to a different house/apartment.

 

 

The "what if" isn't even worth the astronomical odds that your personal lives will negatively interfere being a neighbor that close, or a co-worker that you see daily.

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Heh. Wondering the same thing myself. Except instead of down the hall, he is the house next door.

 

My mom has been with her current boyfriend (actually common law husband now) for years. Know where he lived? accross the street! They didn't know each other except by sight until he came into her place of work one day and it all started from there.

 

I think it's worth keeping an open mind about at the very least. Keep chatting, if you are enjoying it.

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Seeing how much I bump into my neighbors accross the street, I could definitely date them. Different world compared to the US but still, I see my neighbors very rarely. Having different schedules and commuting by different means of transport makes it hard to have constant contact.

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It's always better to know one way or another than to wonder what if. (Advice I have gotten many many times, and it's the best advice in my opinion).

 

And you know what there is nothing wrong with being a silly romantic at times, I wish I got to dabble in that more often.

 

haha, I get silly romantic pretty often lol, but I have learned to not let my imagination get carried away.

 

Well, I'll still chat with him when I see him for now, but I won't do anything more than that for now. I think this is one of those situation where you wanna try to get to know the person a bit more before asking them out...well I think so anyway..One of my friends got me thinking it is a bad idea because she said what if he turns out to be a creeper, lol (she's a bit negative lol), but it is a valid point, right? It could get potentially really weird or awkward...potentially.

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Heh. Wondering the same thing myself. Except instead of down the hall, he is the house next door.

 

My mom has been with her current boyfriend (actually common law husband now) for years. Know where he lived? accross the street! They didn't know each other except by sight until he came into her place of work one day and it all started from there.

 

I think it's worth keeping an open mind about at the very least. Keep chatting, if you are enjoying it.

 

 

Oh well, see, it can happen!! lol. See your situation sounds more serious--especially if he and yourself are home-owners, you can't just pick-up and move if things go awry. At least I (or him) could find a new place to rent

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Go for it!

A friend of a friend of mine moved into a new apartment building 2 years ago, and within the first week she went to the building's gym and met a guy who also lived there, a few doors down. It turned out he was a great guy, treated her like gold from day one, they fell in love and they are now happily married. She had the same type of hesitations as you do, but he pursued her relentlessly until she fell madly in love with him.

 

Just go with the flow, and enjoy the ride! Yes it could end up in an awkward situation, but it could also end up in happiness.

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^Yeah, and he has a kid. So even more cautious on my end.

 

And the kid and I have a fondness for each other already. So ...yeah. I'm conservative on getting involved to start with anyone, and it's ultra with him.

 

If I don't accept a date soon though I think he will give up. So..decisions decisions.

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I agree with your friends. In the world of dating the are two rules that have a very specific exception. Those rules are:

 

NEVER date a co-worker.

NEVER date a neighbor.

 

Now exception to these rules: You're leaving the company, or you're moving to a different house/apartment.

 

 

The "what if" isn't even worth the astronomical odds that your personal lives will negatively interfere being a neighbor that close, or a co-worker that you see daily.

 

Ya see this is what my friends and my bro said too. Just don't even go there...but but...what if we are meant to be, lol

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Go for it!

A friend of a friend of mine moved into a new apartment building 2 years ago, and within the first week she went to the building's gym and met a guy who also lived there, a few doors down. It turned out he was a great guy, treated her like gold from day one, they fell in love and they are now happily married. She had the same type of hesitations as you do, but he pursued her relentlessly until she fell madly in love with him.

 

Just go with the flow, and enjoy the ride! Yes it could end up in an awkward situation, but it could also end up in happiness.

 

Awwww, that's sweet. hehe, see it can happen.

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I've done it, twice. Both times worked out poorly for me. Especially awkward when you see them in the elevator with their new...uh... date. omg. I was also stalked once by a man who lived in my apartment building. yikes.

 

On the other hand, a friend met her husband that way. He was actually living next door to her parents' house. He came over one day to deliver a package that was accidentally sent to his door. That wound up working well for them!!

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^Yeah, and he has a kid. So even more cautious on my end.

 

And the kid and I have a fondness for each other already. So ...yeah. I'm conservative on getting involved to start with anyone, and it's ultra with him.

 

If I don't accept a date soon though I think he will give up. So..decisions decisions.

 

Oh ya, that sounds quite complicated with a child involved...hmm, well I think you should accept the date, even if it just one date and it never goes further. Have you known the guy for very long?

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Ya see this is what my friends and my bro said too. Just don't even go there...but but...what if we are meant to be, lol

 

hehe, while I admit the thought certainly pleases the hopeless romantic in me, my logical side just won't let it happen. I like to control my outcomes as much as possible, and knowing the alternative to a neighbor you see every day that's but a couple of doors down?? *gulp*

 

If the timing is off, and you guys don't run into each other often or see each other daily, perhaps sure. But it's sorta difficult doing the whole "get to know" someone, when you see the same person every day.. you start to know things ahead of it's time (bad friends, opposite sex/dates going over, bad habits, etc).

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hehe, while I admit the thought certainly pleases the hopeless romantic in me, my logical side just won't let it happen. I like to control my outcomes as much as possible, and knowing the alternative to a neighbor you see every day that's but a couple of doors down?? *gulp*

 

If the timing is off, and you guys don't run into each other often or see each other daily, perhaps sure. But it's sorta difficult doing the whole "get to know" someone, when you see the same person every day.. you start to know things ahead of it's time (bad friends, opposite sex/dates going over, bad habits, etc).

 

Ya I totally agree with this.

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Oh ya, that sounds quite complicated with a child involved...hmm, well I think you should accept the date, even if it just one date and it never goes further. Have you known the guy for very long?

 

I don't know him well at all, except as acquaintances for quite a long time. Only really started talking recently. Other than that, it's been friendly hi's and seeing each other in passing. Everyone works a lot. It's easy not to see too much of neighbors.

 

I'm about thinking what you are suggesting as what I will probably do. See how A date goes. No pressure on anything. No jumping to conclusions or rushing ahead on worrying.

 

I don't think it would be all that difficult if it doesn't pan out. We could simply revert back to casual hi's and neighborly. And his son and I can still be friendly too.

 

..............

 

Update on the situation as it happens please. At the very least, it's nice to meet someone nice again, eh?!

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I've done it, twice. Both times worked out poorly for me. Especially awkward when you see them in the elevator with their new...uh... date. omg. I was also stalked once by a man who lived in my apartment building. yikes.

 

On the other hand, a friend met her husband that way. He was actually living next door to her parents' house. He came over one day to deliver a package that was accidentally sent to his door. That wound up working well for them!!

 

Ya that's an issue my friend mentioned--stalking, and how easy it is to do when you live down the hall...

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Ya that's an issue my friend mentioned--stalking, and how easy it is to do when you live down the hall...

 

well, that's a rare event, only happened once in my life. (compared to how many other men I've lived in the same apartment building with and how many HAVEN'T stalked me!)

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I don't know him well at all, except as acquaintances for quite a long time. Only really started talking recently. Other than that, it's been friendly hi's and seeing each other in passing. Everyone works a lot. It's easy not to see too much of neighbors.

 

I'm about thinking what you are suggesting as what I will probably do. See how A date goes. No pressure on anything. No jumping to conclusions or rushing ahead on worrying.

 

I don't think it would be all that difficult if it doesn't pan out. We could simply revert back to casual hi's and neighborly. And his son and I can still be friendly too.

 

..............

 

Update on the situation as it happens please. At the very least, it's nice to meet someone nice again, eh?!

 

 

Ya one date can't hurt right? This guy hasn't asked me out yet--and may never (who knows), but I will just keep being friendly and charming when I see him, and maybe if things go ok I will slowly step-up the flirting. haha, it's been so long since I have dated that i think i forgot how to flirt, lol!

 

I will update the situation if anything happens--and you update your situation too, lol

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