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What does she want out of me?


imtriguy2010

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I'm having a very difficult time reading this woman. I'm 37. She's 44. Dates went like this - 1st - met for a beer, finished with a hug. 2nd - went out to dinner, another hug. 3rd - dinner again, messed up kiss, but ended up getting a peck on the lips. 4th - met for a trip to a brewery, date went great. She left with no kiss or hug. 5th - I cooked her dinner over at my place, kissed but all pecks on the lips minus a small peck by her on my neck. I asked her again about getting together on Sunday to hang out and maybe watch a couple movies at my place and she said "Yeah, that would be great, looking forward to it!" She has me totally confused. When kissing the last time, I tried the slightly open mouth thing but she was primarily pecks. I don't quite get that. Second, because she keeps wanting to do things with me, even if it's nothing but spend time together, I assume it's not about getting a free meal. What is her deal? She gives me the obvious signs - plays with her hair, touches me, reapplies her lip gloss, etc. Also, she doesn't like to talk on the phone. It's all texting. Actually, I have never even spoken to her on the phone. I asked her about it and she said it's because she is on the phone all day at work and can't stand it. Also her parents live with her, she has two jobs and workouts out 4 days per week. Is she just taking it super slow or is she just not that interested?

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You need to watch some Jane Austen movies, LOL.

 

Ask her what she likes. When she asks you, tell her you love soft, sweet kisses.

 

Next time, you need to look deeply into her eyes and not avert your gaze. When she asks you why you're looking at her like that, you need to tell her that you're wondering what it's like to kiss her. And keep looking at her. And then lean in and give her the tenderest kiss you can muster.

 

Her life is certainly full, but she's making time to be with you. Go with the flow, but don't allow her to steer you into the friendzone. Reciprocate. If she touches your hair, softly caress her face. Lean in an take a slow inhale of her perfume and make an appreciative noise. Stuff like that.

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Ask her what she likes. When she asks you, tell her you love soft, sweet kisses.

 

 

Oh my God, do NOT do that, LOL. I would die of the cheese factor if a man said that to me.

 

OP-I think you are going to have to make a more bold move. When you are watching movies on Sunday, sit close to her and put your arm around her. Give her a real kiss. If she pulls back from this, I would ask her about it. 6 dates is a long time to go without a "real" kiss!

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I'm with Jenny. Go all out or go home. No way I'd date someone that long without a real kiss.

 

Or maybe she just has lousy kissing skills. Pecks? Ugh. What does she think you are - a 9-year old?

 

Actually... given your age difference that might be EXACTLY what she's thinking. So man up. Do what Jenny says.

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Ask her what she likes. When she asks you, tell her you love soft, sweet kisses.

 

 

 

OP-I think you are going to have to make a more bold move. When you are watching movies on Sunday, sit close to her and put your arm around her. Give her a real kiss. If she pulls back from this, I would ask her about it. 6 dates is a long time to go without a "real" kiss!

 

I agree!

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OP, your problem is that you're doing friend stuff.. meeting for beers, going to breweries, going to dinner... you do that with friends. Yeah, you do that with dates, but your problem is that she hasn't leaped the divide from friends to potential lovers. You've been on enough dates to have leaped that divide by now.

 

I dunno... the new guy in my life said that to me and "it's on like Donkey Kong". L'amour, l'amour, l'amour...

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She definitely likes you!! Not all girls want to kiss a guy right away. They want to get to know you. I would not be worried. But coming over to watch movies does imply making out. I would have cooked for her and then went to a movie out instead - but that's just me. I don't think no real kiss after 5 dates is super slow unless you have known her for awhile before you were dating. Remember she was a stranger before the first date.

 

Why not have a conversation soon about what you are looking for and see if she is looking for the same?

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Kendahke....maybe it's cuz we're OLDER....lol...and like the cheese factor. These young squirts don't know who Jane Austin even was/is!

 

Everyone is different, that's what makes the world go round.

 

At least she wants to kiss you, and hang with you. I have talked to older women, and they don't 'open mouth' kiss at all!

 

huh??

 

I want to know how she can give you pecks, when you're trying to slip a tongue!

 

Maybe she just wants to take it slow. I think next time you have her over...time for you to get amorous!!! She certainly can't be giving you pecks when you're trying to get your hands up her shirt!

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btw, before you get all hot and heavy i would get to know her better. What is her situation? Divorced? Never married? and do her parents live with her - its her house and they are invalid and moved in, or has she never left home. Things to consider finding out in the getting to know you stage before you get physical and you both get attached and then realize its not the righ situation

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I always insist that communication is the key, especially in situations where you're not sure about the other person's intentions. 5 dates are enough for someone to know if they just like you as a friend and like spending time with you or if they want something more. Ask her...what have you got to lose? I think it's much better than trying to kiss her and getting rejected.

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Update - We were texting Friday night and I was giving her crap about the nice loaner car she has for a week while hers if fixed and something came up about Saturday night. She said she wished she knew I wasn't doing anything because she was offered tickets to an event in town and we could have gone. Since that had come and gone, since she had nothing going on, I asked if she wanted to check out the new wine bar. She said she'd love to so we went and had a great time. I decided to go with the more physical approach - kiss on the cheek when she came over, luckily it was cold at the place so I put my arm around her and kept her warm, held her hand, etc. As we were talking we were about three inches away from each other. As we were driving home, I grabbed her hand and on my way to my car as well as in my car and she held it tightly. Once we got back to my house and she was ready to leave, I we had a nice little make out session. What a great night... We even talked about her going to my company Christmas party in three weeks and mentioned she had a few ideas for me Christmas. Things definitely looking much clearer now! Thanks for the advice!

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