Girl I'm dating playing games?

[cingularity83]

Ok so here goes

 

I met a girl online, chatted with her for about 2-3 weeks or so and we hit it off well enough that she wanted to know if we could exchange numbers so that we could talk more and get to know each other better etc. we exchanged numbers and started texting regularly and even moved on to phone calls. Now around the time we had started talking she had let me know that she just got a new job and she's going to go through a training period which will require her to be doing a lot of frequent traveling for about 3-4 weeks. Okay, I understood and didn't mind at all. After another couple weeks after exchanging numbers we had went on our first date.... again everything went well and we hit it off in person. Second time we met she invited me over her place, we watched a movie... kissed her for the first time on my way out to go home later that night after the movie.

 

For our 3rd date I planned something really romantic that had her gushing and raving about how it was the best date she's ever went on blah blah blah... And then we met up for another 4th date after that where she did something nice for me as well. Sounds like everything is picture perfect right? Wrong.... haha

 

Well after our first initial meet up, the traveling started and she would pretty much be gone a whole week and so I guess that's probably why we've only seen each other 4 times in a month (which isn't that bad necessarily). But I then started to notice that she was texting less and it would take her forever to reply back to my messages. Now I'm reasonable person and I've also been guilty of replying late to a few texts here and there depending on the day and what I have going on. She would say thing like she's busy with work etc.. and I'm thinking to myself, if someone sent you a text saying hello to you and wishing you a great day and things like that, even if at some point during the day you went to lunch or bathroom or something like that, all it takes is like 1 minute to reply back right? There was a time just last week where I texted her and didn't hear back from her until like 8-9 hours later and her reply was to say that her phone had died and she's just now getting a chance to recharge it and I almost literally busted out laughing because I knew it was bull crap but whatever, I let it slide.

 

I guess this past weekend was where I just finally had enough and decided to take a stand. The past week or so I have basically been acting accordingly to the way she's been acting and I have decreased the amounts of texts I send her. If texts me I'll reply but other than that I just didn't wanna waste my time anymore. So she texts me Saturday and I reply back and we exchanged a few texts and then boom no answer from her at all. Sunday comes by and she sends a random text in the afternoon saying hello. I reply back and we exchanged a couple messages and then the last text I sent ended with a question. Now it wasn't some important I need a reply as soon as possible type question BUT it was a simple question none the less. She never replied to the text and I never texted her again either the whole day which basically was a repeat of what happened just the day before.

 

I was initially going to call her or send her a message calling her out on her rude behavior but a friend of mine said to not do it. He said that's basically what she's expecting of me to do and just trying to get a rise out of me... I guess. Her reason for doing that I don't know. Your guess is as good as mine.

 

Anyway I go this whole Monday without a text her and of course I wasn't going to contact her either and just when I was thinking I was home free and that I would never hear from her again and she would just leave me alone she texts just before 12 midnight saying "how it felt weird going the whole day without talking to me and she just wanted to say hi and hoped that I had a good day" and Im like wow....really? Seriously really?? This girl can't be serious. Maybe perhaps she doesn't even realize what she's doing? Now that would just actually make me feel sad for her.

 

But either way I just ignored the text and didn't reply to her. I would lie if I said a part of me didn't want to reply, but if there's one thing I always hold onto is my integrity. I treated her like a gentleman (in fact sometime last week she told me she had told her mom about the amazing romantic date I had planned out and she said how she would be afraid to have me around her girl friends because they would be wanting to steal me away), was never a jerk, rude or mean to her in any way and so I if I let her treat me like this now while we are just starting to get to know each other only God knows what's gonna be happening later on down the line, and I refuse to be one of "those kind of guys" that would just be excited and happy because a girl threw a bone their way after treating them like crap and go running after her sniffing her butt (figuratively speaking of course)

 

Am I just stooping down to her level by choosing to ignore her? Would it be better if I had just talked to her about the way she's acting and how it's just pushing me away? At this point I don't really care that much about pursuing any thing with her because I've just been turned off by her behavior.

[quiddy]

How old is she ? I would say tha t if she is under 25 maybe she wants you to chase her but if she is older she probably doesn't know what she wants. I would act like that if I was seeing a guy and wasn't sure how he feels about me, if he didn't initiate contact or text me like twice a week and schedule dates maybe once every 8-10 days . If you keep in touch regularly and you are consistent so she doesn't have to think if you text her today or next month then there's no need for this kind of behaviour . I hate when ppl play games and waste your time. You either act loo an adult and like sb and want to date them or you don't . I would just stop contacting her and not reply when she texts next time so she will start wondering what happened and when she texts again she will straighten herself up and behave like a normal person

[cingularity83]

Nice guess quiddy.... What if I said she was exactly 25!! haha I guess that's common for most 25 year olds to act that way huh?

 

I don't think I ever gave her any indication that I wasn't interested in her at all. Like I said above, the frequency of my texts to her decreased after I noticed a change in her behavior.

Her busy schedule and constant traveling has made it hard to really do much of any planning.

 

I at least have tried to text her everyday since I got her number and this was the first time I've gone a whole day without initiating contact and obviously I didn't reply to the last text she just recently sent. And then there's the fact that she probably wouldn't have responded anyway. Probably just sent it to see if I'm still "thinking" about her or something dumb along those lines

[jjkk]

If you aren't interested in pursuing her then no big deal, let it go but I fail to see the problem. Maybe it's because I'm almost 40 and haven't had texting/cell phones for most of my life but some people aren't as attached to having constant access to their phones as others so this doesn't seem odd or rude to me. I wouldn't read into it. If she ignores your texts and stops contacting you or texting from her becomes rare, that's a different story.

 

Perhaps she really is busy at work and just doesn't text while working. I know when my bf is working I won't get a response to any texts until after 5pm. Yes he takes breaks but he just doesn't keep his phone nearby. Also some people don't jump to get texts either. I have been programmed to check for texts frequently because I have kids but my bf has no kids and if he's doing something else, he finishes what he's doing and then checks texts and sometimes if he's busy he forgets to check text.

 

I don't see her behavior as game playing or disinterest, just a different way of responding to texts. If you want to pursue w/ her and it's important, you could mention kindly that it's important to you that she responds to texts quickly, at least a quick one to let you know she's busy or got your text or whatever but if other aspects of your connection are great, I don't think it's a huge deal.

[t1lersm0m1]

I would just leave her be if I were you. You're right, it literally takes a few seconds to send a text.

[SooSad33]

Could be a few reasons for this.. either lack of interest or she's not an avid 'texter'? Did she go from 'some interest', at first to none?

How often did you guys actually 'talk' on the phone..instead of texting? Doesn't sound like too much interest now.. then to have her send one to you so late at night- becuase she didn't hear from you that day?

One has to also 'give' into the relation.. not just 'expect all' from the other side.

[cingularity83]

So you're telling me that you're fine with texting someone and for them to reply back to you the next day? I wouldn't do that to my friends let alone someone I just started dating. I'm not even talking about texting someone late at night either, because at least in that situation maybe perhaps they might've fallen asleep. we are talking about in the afternoon and you don't think there's anything wrong with that? Maybe we just hold people to different standards that's all.

[cingularity83]

Could be a few reasons for this.. either lack of interest or she's not an avid 'texter'? Did she go from 'some interest', at first to none?

How often did you guys actually 'talk' on the phone..instead of texting? Doesn't sound like too much interest now.. then to have her send one to you so late at night- becuase she didn't hear from you that day?

One has to also 'give' into the relation.. not just 'expect all' from the other side.

 

She definitely did go from some interest to what seems like none. During the first couple weeks she texted frequently and often and then it just started to slow down until it got to the point where I would text her and she wouldn't even reply until the next day. And then it would just be some random texting saying hey how are you doing.

[cingularity83]

UPDATE

So I got a text from her today saying asking if everything is ok with us.

 

I replied back that I would like to call her later on to talk, and just asked some general questions like how her day was going.

 

She never replied back, a couple hours later I called her like I said I would. She doesn't pick up and the call goes to voicemail. I leave a message.

 

Later on around close to midnight I get a text from her saying that she's sorry she had to babysit right after work and that her phone was dead and that she'll talk to me tomorrow because she's heading to bed.

[Ms Darcy]

Given your last message, I would say she's not interested and move on.

 

I do think in the future, instead of texting girls you should call them.