No FB stalking pledge

[SeattleSigh]

Okay, I haven't talked to my ex for awhile. I am still not over her entirely, but I keep checking her Facebook page, dispute the fact we aren't friends. All I can really see is her profile picture, but I swear I am addicted to looking out for small changes on her page.

 

I even look at a few other pages, including her current boyfriend's, to get my fix. This is getting so stupid.

 

Here is my pledge: I am not looking at her FB page or any page related to her in any way. If I do, I will report it on here.

 

It is time for this to end.

[Ms Darcy]

How long have you been broken up?

[nutbrownhare]

Have you seen this article on the Enotalone home page?

I blocked my ex-partner at the first opportunity after we'd broken up. It helped enormously in getting over the breakup and getting on with my life. If you're not entirely over your ex, checking out her FB page regularly will effectively ensure you stay that way.

[SeattleSigh]

A long time. Over two years. Beyond that I try not to think about it anymore.

 

...My slow healing process is tied in with a lot of other issues. I learned that from my counselor.

[Sportster2005]

Okay, I haven't talked to my ex for awhile. I am still not over her entirely, but I keep checking her Facebook page, dispute the fact we aren't friends. All I can really see is her profile picture, but I swear I am addicted to looking out for small changes on her page.

 

I even look at a few other pages, including her current boyfriend's, to get my fix. This is getting so stupid.

 

Here is my pledge: I am not looking at her FB page or any page related to her in any way. If I do, I will report it on here.

 

It is time for this to end.

 

Just block her. Out of sight, out of mind. Seriously, this is one of the smartest things you can do. It will bring a real sense of peace.

[SeattleSigh]

Hadn't seen the article, Nutbrownhare, but I believe it now that I read it. I actually did block my ex for awhile, but it actually bothers me to block her page. It nags at my subconscious. I will probably do it again though if I don't kick my stupid habit. But I am not going to break this pledge. Far time for this to stop.

[Watergirl777]

It's hard but u have to not go there, the more you know about them the more it prolongs your recovery. I deleted mine. Gone. So hard!

[SeattleSigh]

I just deleted all the old conversation threads, too. Feels good. Moving on.

[Ms Darcy]

YEAH two years is a while. Definitely delete everything that you can. Remove her from your life.

[SeattleSigh]

Quick update: I need to do this because I am having a strong urge to look at her profile. My brain is telling me it is a good idea. It clearly wants a hit. However, I haven't looked so far, and I really do mean to stick to this pledge.

[lavenderdove]

Research really supports this... people who immediately cut contact and block any access to social media and views into their ex's life heal a LOT faster than those who continue to try to spy on the ex... it just feeds an obsession and puts off acceptance that the relationship is really over and the person no longer in your life because you FEEL a connection because you keep the connection alive by staying in any form of contact when really it is over and gone.

 

So bravo! you can now start the serious work of claiming your life back again rather than feeling like a beggar at her door feeding on little crumbs from FB! Google 'thought stopping' and start practicing it and you'll really get her out of your head and free yourself to live in the present rather than in the past.

[Red Tie]

After a full week without ckecking my ex Facebook profile, I thought "I feel good, this is going great, I think I finally got over her, no harm in chekcing her Facebook profile."

And so I checked it yesterday. New profile picture where shes looks good (as she always did) and no relationship initiated.

 

Oh #$%"... I immediately thought of calling her just to say "hey, how ya doing?" - because I saw an opportunity that she might be available. But then its just an illusion. If I contacted her she would just feed her ego more knowing I still have feelings for her. Then, she would slay me to the ground! I know that. But, even if, somehow, she would agree to see me and we got back together, things would just turn sour fast like it did last time.

 

All of the above to tell you this: No matter what excuses your head feeds you, either the Facebook profile tells you good or bad things, IT IS NEVER A GOOD IDEA to check it.

Remember that if you feel the urge to check her FB, then you are not over her. And if you are not over her, then checking it will just make you feel miserable again.

[SeattleSigh]

So, the pattern is that my ex or I contact right around three months, and it happened again. She texted me asking if I was going to attend an event that I have gone to the past few years. I don't think I am going to respond. I just don't think it serves a purpose. Staying NC does.

 

There's a lot more i could say about why I think she sent it, but at this point, spending time thinking more about this than I have to is not helpful.

[Ms Darcy]

I would just remind yourself that she does not want to be with you and you will not accept anything less.

[SeattleSigh]

That helps Ms. Darcy. Thanks for the reminder....Still going strong with FB. Haven't checked it.

[aseeker]

Don't check her profile.... I made that mistake. For three weeks, I stayed friends with my ex on fb. Why, I have no idea. I guess I felt we could still get back together if we were in good terms with each other. Wrong! It only keeps bringing up the pain. Plus, he sometimes came to chat with me and my world just crumbled down. No matter how much progress I made, it just seemed to fly out the window. Because he was always so nice and casual, as though nothing had happened, and it just hurt sooo much. I never had the guts to block him, until we had an ugly fight one day and I just decided, "hell, I'm not putting myself through this ever again".

 

I did a pretty good job not stalking him over the course of those first 3 weeks because I knew I would get hurt. I might have checked it two or three times though, and I would really get heartbroken, not because he had someone knew but because he was posting a lot of anger-related things and basically leaving "messages". It was really immature. I simply stopped going to facebook during those weeks. I never vented or anything. I didn't want the whole world to know about my pain. But guess we're not all the same.

 

It's been maybe a month since then. Couldn't be happier, and I can finally be on fb without feeling like I'm walking on eggshells It's very liberating! And you are healing, believe me.