wow..well im gonna be a single father.. joint custody and rights for father??

[dangletsbang]

He gets his daughter every other weekend plus one day a week...every other holiday and stuff like that. After the baby was born, they were required to do a paternity test and once that went through they didn't give the mom an option. She's getting child support, he isn't doing anything wrong...he has rights to the bayb and she can't keep her away from him. He started the process while she was pregnant and I think that's why it was resolved so quickly.

[dangletsbang]

yes i agree.. what i want is a family.. come home to kids and wife see my kid daily. not be a part time parent

 

My son's dad and I are split up to. Would I love to be one happy family? Yes, absolutely. He wasn't ready to grow up, stop lying and take care things like an adult though. Yes, a happy family is something everyone wants...but it isn't always possible. All you can do is support your child's mother the best you can, never use your child as a way to get back or upset her and above all, take care of your child...love your child...be civil with your child's mother even if she doesn't want to be with you..and never argue in front of your child.

 

Even though my son's dad has done some very low things and didn't even deserve to be in the same state as my child. I have never kept him away from his father, I have never talked down about his father in front of him...and I will never be that mom who tries to ban their child from seeing his dad.

[Cheetarah]

yes i agree.. what i want is a family.. come home to kids and wife see my kid daily. not be a part time parent

 

I understand, I wanted it too but it wasn't working that way. At the very least I wanted an involved father, but that's not happening, either. Got to work with whats' in front of you.

 

never use your child as a way to get back or upset her and above all, take care of your child...love your child...be civil with your child's mother even if she doesn't want to be with you..and never argue in front of your child.

 

Absolutely.

[22n32]

He gets his daughter every other weekend plus one day a week...every other holiday and stuff like that. After the baby was born, they were required to do a paternity test and once that went through they didn't give the mom an option. She's getting child support, he isn't doing anything wrong...he has rights to the bayb and she can't keep her away from him. He started the process while she was pregnant and I think that's why it was resolved so quickly.

 

I see that kinda sucks.. i dont want just weekend.. i want 50/50 CUSTODY.. Thanks

 

did he not want joint custody or its what he got??

[Huntress0527]

I wish you luck, OP. Most definitely get a paternity test regardless if you are 100% sure it is your baby especially since you'll be paying child support. You would be a fool not to.

[Cheetarah]

50/50 physical is honestly tough to do - When it comes to newborns and infants. You have to pretty much be living accross the street from each other. It's different when they're older. A judge isn't going to order 50/50 parenting time for an infant...It's not in their best interest.

[22n32]

50/50 physical is honestly tough to do - When it comes to newborns and infants. You have to pretty much be living accross the street from each other. It's different when they're older. A judge isn't going to order 50/50 parenting time for an infant...It's not in their best interest.

 

I can understand that.. first few months yes.. when do u think 50/50 is a possibilty

[Cheetarah]

It really is going to vary by the guidelines for visitations plans in your state, the judge, your schedules...There's really tons of things there. Don't get too ahead of yourself, it'll overwhelm you and give you a headache.

 

Just worry about moving past this relationship, getting everything lined up so you can act ASAP when the baby is born.

[SapphireNoir10]

This is why you need to talk to a lawyer now. To try and work out a plan. To find out what exactly you need to do and when you need to do it, when to file for stuff etc.

 

If the mother is breast feeding the baby won't be allowed away from her very often because of that. Also in general when babies are very small judges don't award much time away from there mothers.

 

link removed

 

This is quite helpful. Explains the basics of rights to a baby etc.

[22n32]

Thanks.. ill read it... does anyone know at what age can a child deceide were he wants to live ?

[Cheetarah]

Again, that depends on your state. There really is no magic number. Let's take MA, for example...they may allow the child after age 12 to give a testimony for preference and reason in the court...But they do not get to "pick". The judge will take it into consideration. The older the child, the more weight it will bear. It is not a sole factor in deciding a child's primary residence...So it's merely considered.

 

It's all about the child's best interest.

[22n32]

Again, that depends on your state. There really is no magic number. Let's take MA, for example...they may allow the child after age 12 to give a testimony for preference and reason in the court...But they do not get to "pick". The judge will take it into consideration. The older the child, the more weight it will bear. It is not a sole factor in deciding a child's primary residence...So it's merely considered.

 

It's all about the child's best interest.

 

Thanks.. funny she is in MA and im in CT.. lol

[jenny_mcs]

Thanks.. ill read it... does anyone know at what age can a child deceide were he wants to live ?

 

I understand that you must be freaking out and have a million thoughts & questions going through your head. But thinking years and years down the road like this is not going to help you right now.

 

The first thing I would try to establish is if your ex plans on putting you down as father on the birth certificate. This will be the absolute best case scenario and will get rid of a lot of headaches for you. If she is unwilling to establish you as father, that will be your first challenge.

 

Once paternity is established you can work out custody/visitation.

 

You will need a lawyer for all of this! Please make an appointment to see a lawyer that specializes in family law. It is *so* important to have a plan in place. Good luck.

[OptomisticGirl]

In my home state, SC, the age is 12. An while the child's want carries some weight other factors must go into it.

[22n32]

Thanks everyone.. wow 12 yrs long time to wait.. lol

[dangletsbang]

In Texas, which is where we're from...what he has is considered 50/50 or 'shared custody'.. the mother has 'primary custody' because the child lives with her. My son's father and I have shared custody or '50/50' as you're saying...we have equal rights in decisions regarding our son but he lives with me, so I have primary custody. I cannot move out of the county I live in unless it's been approved by a judge. It's unlikely that true 50/50 parenting will be granted...or that you'll become the primary guardian unless your child's mother is seen as unfit. But I still can't stress enough that you need to get an attorney now and get a plan in order.

[22n32]

In Texas, which is where we're from...what he has is considered 50/50 or 'shared custody'.. the mother has 'primary custody' because the child lives with her. My son's father and I have shared custody or '50/50' as you're saying...we have equal rights in decisions regarding our son but he lives with me, so I have primary custody. I cannot move out of the county I live in unless it's been approved by a judge. It's unlikely that true 50/50 parenting will be granted...or that you'll become the primary guardian unless your child's mother is seen as unfit. But I still can't stress enough that you need to get an attorney now and get a plan in order.

 

thanks.. i want too.. few people have told me to wait till kid is born, because once she is done with the pregency her hormones come back to normal level and they start to think more clearly and its when she sees things more rationaly and what mother doesnt want her child to have a father.. is just crazy

 

but after our conversation last nights its giving me doubts of this happening.. she is just at the end of her first trismister hormones are the worst.. wishfull thinking i guess

[OptomisticGirl]

I know plenty of pregnant women - they don't go crazy on Hormones and suddenly hate their child's father. This goes deeper than just hormones.

[dangletsbang]

Yeah, honestly hormones aren't an excuse to deny a father his future child. She can't use 'hormones' as an excuse and you can't keep using it as a reason to justify her unfair actions and immaturity.

[22n32]

I know plenty of pregnant women - they don't go crazy on Hormones and suddenly hate their child's father. This goes deeper than just hormones.

 

yes like she is crazy and traped me into having a child with me because she wanted a baby so bad.. she is being selfish and only sees what she wants ..

 

u know what gets me is all her rel i was the most caring, honest, didnt cheat or lie or even abuse her like her exes.. i treated her well. okay last month i was moody and critcal but ive changed and owned up to it.. i wasnt perfect bf but very close to it..

 

and i filled the gap of almost perfect to perfect.. putting all her needs first.. and bam thats not good enough.. she would rather date one day have a step father but our child at possible risk..

 

it makes no sense.. dont people do the right thing anymorre..

[Cheetarah]

What do you mean, child at risk?

[SapphireNoir10]

I agree that pregnancy hormones wouldn't make someone decide to leave and let you have nothing to do with the child.

 

I think she may regret her decision in time, being a parent is hard enough work when there are two of you living together, let alone when your a single parent. I have the utmost respect for single parents because it is such a hard job to raise a child. She may find it all a lot harder once the baby is here and maybe be more open to your involvement.

 

But incase that doesn't happen. Get in contact with a lawyer and get your plan in place.

[22n32]

What do you mean, child at risk?

 

all her past rel have been not a good one.. she doesnt exactly have the best track record for picking great guys.. i was best rel she ever had.. what if my child is subjected to that for yrs. i will never know till maybe when the kid is older and by then it will be to late..

[indea08]

My nephew is 19 months old...and his father (my brother) is STILL trying to establish a shared parenting plan. It's going to suck, it's going to be unfair, and it's going to take forever. I'm sorry you have to deal with this. Be prepared for a long battle, the system is horrible in this area. Good luck.

[22n32]

My nephew is 19 months old...and his father (my brother) is STILL trying to establish a shared parenting plan. It's going to suck, it's going to be unfair, and it's going to take forever. I'm sorry you have to deal with this. Be prepared for a long battle, the system is horrible in this area. Good luck.

 

great.. does he get to see him at all ?? what state are u in if u dont mind me asking.