Ladytmt Posted February 9, 2013 Share Posted February 9, 2013 I had a friend who had success with online dating, so I tried it. I started chatting with this guy who is about 100 miles away from me which to me is not that far. We chatted online for awhile and then he left me his number. Now, most of our conversations were text and messages on the dating sight. I've never even heard his voice. So I'm thinking well maybe he's shy so I asked him if I could call him and he didn't respond until hours later around midnight saying that he fell asleep. He never said anything like well call me tomorrow or I'll call u. I bought it up again and I didn't get a response. The only time I heard from him is if I messaged him first!!! We talked about meeting each other and twice he said he would drive down to meet me but when these days came I wouldn't hear from him. The first time I brushed it off but the second time I mentioned it and he just said "sorry princess" never once did he say in advance I'm not gonna make it, I had to contact him ( by text) to find this out. I've even sent him additional photos of me in case he thought I was a fake or something and he'd always say they were beautiful and I take great pics and he was coming to meet me soon. I don't know what it is with him!!! I can't get him on the phone , can't get a visit, he won't say anything to me unless I say it first by text of course and sometimes it's hours before I get a response. I know he works 12 hour shifts but he does have days off and I never hear from him on those days. He seems to use work and sleep as the excuses. It just seems some guys are intimidated by certain women, but in this case doesn't seem like he's making much effort to get to know me at ALL!!! Then why the heck would he give me his number? Link to comment
FreedomRing Posted February 9, 2013 Share Posted February 9, 2013 Sorry princess? Lol. In your case, the answer to your thread title is neither. Dude is gaming you...only chat with dudes online who have no issue talking on the phone and/or meeting you fairly soon. Link to comment
laninaperdida Posted February 9, 2013 Share Posted February 9, 2013 In the "real" world, I absolutely think beauty is intimidating to guys. Online, however, the guy has to be a complete wuss not to hit "send" so I don't think good looks is as much of a factor here. Keep in mind that when it comes to online dating, there are no rules because you don't *really* know why a person has signed up... How desperate they are... If they're currently attached, etc. To put it in perspective, I gotta ask: Why isn't 100 miles that far too you? Seems a little too eager to make this work, especially because you haven't even heard his voice. There's a guy who's interested in me right now & he always asks if he can call me & I tell him no. I don't want to talk to him. I can send him a text when I'm bored, but I don't want to stop everything I'm doing to be on the phone with him. Yes, you are doing all the effort... stop, lol. Throw this fish back. Link to comment
Ladytmt Posted February 9, 2013 Author Share Posted February 9, 2013 Sorry princess? Lol. In your case, the answer to your thread title is neither. Dude is gaming you...only chat with dudes online who have no issue talking on the phone and/or meeting you fairly soon. Thanks, I agree just seems the ones I take interest to are not interested and vice versa and that is so frustrating. Link to comment
Moontiger Posted February 9, 2013 Share Posted February 9, 2013 Sounds like he is either 1) A Catfish. Or 2) Not all that interested in you. Link to comment
Ladytmt Posted February 9, 2013 Author Share Posted February 9, 2013 Yeah, I just finally told him ( by text of course) that I'm gonna just back off since I can't get a call or visit then it must be something about me that's not enough for him to make an effort. I sent that and got no reply!!! So I deleted the number. And no I don't think 100 miles is that far especially if he comes to my area occasionally. He even told me one time that he came here, I was like really? Then he could tell I was kinda bothered so then he said but I'll come back for u. I don't know why I even wasted my time thinking he was interested. Maybe he's attached I don't know . Link to comment
Sportster2005 Posted February 9, 2013 Share Posted February 9, 2013 He simply isn't interested. Link to comment
Ladytmt Posted February 9, 2013 Author Share Posted February 9, 2013 Sounds like he is either 1) A Catfish. Or 2) Not all that interested in you. Probably both. It's like I look great and people tell me this but yet they don't wanna take the time to get to know me. How do u think that makes me feel!? Like ****! Link to comment
Ladytmt Posted February 9, 2013 Author Share Posted February 9, 2013 He simply isn't interested. Thanks!!! He shouldn't have left me his number either Link to comment
laninaperdida Posted February 9, 2013 Share Posted February 9, 2013 Yeah, I just finally told him ( by text of course) that I'm gonna just back off since I can't get a call or visit then it must be something about me that's not enough for him to make an effort. I sent that and got no reply!!! So I deleted the number. And no I don't think 100 miles is that far especially if he comes to my area occasionally. He even told me one time that he came here, I was like really? Then he could tell I was kinda bothered so then he said but I'll come back for u. I don't know why I even wasted my time thinking he was interested. Maybe he's attached I don't know . Good for you for moving on, but next time? Don't text him. Don't offer a stranger validation that he made you do all the work or upset you - no matter how little. It accomplishes nothing other than making you a little city. He didn't even respond, you know? FTR, I have 2 profiles... 1 in a different city. I have a cousin there so I lead guys on & pretend I live there even though I only visit just in case I want a dinner... Am bored... Whatever. It's wrong, but also very masculine: GUYS DO THINGS LIKE THIS. Online dating is just a time waster with the hope of *****. Don't get your hopes up with this approach. It's even more disappointing than dating is real life, haha. Link to comment
Ladytmt Posted February 9, 2013 Author Share Posted February 9, 2013 I see what u r saying but i really don't think it matters that I text him and told him that especially if he wasnt interested from the get go. My text had no affect on him if it did he would've responded. Link to comment
Lambert Posted February 9, 2013 Share Posted February 9, 2013 You are funny. If you really think you are intimidatingly beautiful, why are you wasting your time with a guy that seemingly can't be bothered? There are plenty of fish in the sea. Move on. Link to comment
Ladytmt Posted February 9, 2013 Author Share Posted February 9, 2013 You are funny. If you really think you are intimidatingly beautiful, why are you wasting your time with a guy that seemingly can't be bothered? There are plenty of fish in the sea. Move on. Wow! Thanks, I guess u made me feel like I'm not really all that huh. Thanks. I already feel like crap and u just made it better. Im not beautiful i just said that. So thanks. Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted February 9, 2013 Share Posted February 9, 2013 I really doubt this is about beauty or lack of. It's just standard stuff...you didn't pick up on the cues early enough to save yourself some hurting that this guy was not/is not interested. Link to comment
Sportster2005 Posted February 9, 2013 Share Posted February 9, 2013 Thanks!!! He shouldn't have left me his number either No he probably shouldn't have. He may have had some interest, and was indecisive, a fence sitter. When you come accross a situation like this it's best to move on. Their actions speak louder than anything they say. I also find it best not to spend too much time dwelling on why people behave the way they do. Someone in here, I can't remember whom, said it best. Don't waste time on people who aren't interested in you. Obvious and sage advice. Link to comment
pinkelephant Posted February 9, 2013 Share Posted February 9, 2013 Catfish. For sure. Link to comment
Lambert Posted February 9, 2013 Share Posted February 9, 2013 Wow! Thanks, I guess u made me feel like I'm not really all that huh. Thanks. I already feel like crap and u just made it better. Im not beautiful i just said that. So thanks. you asked for opinions and I gave mine. On line dating is not as easy as it looks. You have to accept that until you meet the person, you don't know each other. Anything they say or show in terms of pictures can be totally fake. Also, they can float in and out of your life like snow and you may never know the reason why. It could be they are talking to someone else they are more interested in, they are really a scammer and they recognize you won't send them money, or they may be posting to have a made up life that they really don't have in reality. So if anyone stops talking to you, it's best to just let them go and not look at it being "you". Whether you are strikingly beautiful or not Link to comment
Blue Spiral Posted February 9, 2013 Share Posted February 9, 2013 Regardless of your specific situation, the answer can always be both. Link to comment
EssexMan Posted February 9, 2013 Share Posted February 9, 2013 Their actions speak louder than anything they say. I also find it best not to spend too much time dwelling on why people behave the way they do. Absolutely. When it comes to online - there could be a hundred different reasons for the way people behave they do, there is no way for you to know these reasons, and it's pointless second-guessing. If anyone seems less than solid, reliable and straightforward (and people who are all those things do exist), just politely move on. Link to comment
Ladytmt Posted February 9, 2013 Author Share Posted February 9, 2013 Absolutely. When it comes to online - there could be a hundred different reasons for the way people behave they do, there is no way for you to know these reasons, and it's pointless second-guessing. If anyone seems less than solid, reliable and straightforward (and people who are all those things do exist), just politely move on. Ok, I will. I just always seem to hope for the best but with the wrong people, i guess. Link to comment
Ladytmt Posted February 9, 2013 Author Share Posted February 9, 2013 Well now that i read these posts and think about it more...he is younger than me and has kids and never been married. So maybe this is for the best. May be he's a player and is just online looking to get laid, and since im looking for more than that maybe hes disinterested...who knows. Link to comment
Imtheretoo Posted February 9, 2013 Share Posted February 9, 2013 Don't be the chaser, but don't expect to get anywhere playing games. If you're interested, then show it ( you did and sometimes it doesn't work out, but at least you tried, good job). Trust me when I tell you; I've had girls attempt to play overly uninterested after the initial several contacts, and it backfired on them severely. Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted February 9, 2013 Share Posted February 9, 2013 I really doubt this is about beauty or lack of. It's just standard stuff...you didn't pick up on the cues early enough to save yourself some hurting that this guy was not/is not interested. I agree. I don't see how this has got anything to do with beauty at all. I also have to admit that I don't understand how anyone can be intimidated by "beauty" - I honestly don't get it. That said, I don't think he was very interested. Link to comment
Silverbirch Posted February 9, 2013 Share Posted February 9, 2013 I think that after a bit, "beauty" becomes not very relevant. My ex used to work with a guy who had been with some very beautiful women, and he said that after a while, "beauty becomes ordinary". He has been with a woman for a couple of years now who is quite overweight and not considered even attractive by a lot of people's standards, but he says she is a great match for him. It seems to me, she keeps him on his toes and keeps him interested just by being herself. She's very intelligent and has a warm personality. If they broke up tomorrow, I'd say there would be a number of men interested in taking his place in her life. Link to comment
jonny15 Posted February 10, 2013 Share Posted February 10, 2013 Online? no way. In person? Very much so. I don't even generally talk to hot women. I don't know what to say, and I just smile alot. So I just look at them from a distance when they don't see me doing it. And the guy the OP is talking about is full of it. Link to comment
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