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Trying to not get too excited....

rocknrolla

By rocknrolla
in Getting Back Together

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zep Enthusiast

zep

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when is the party? Will you see her again after the party for another event? I think you should just focus on being happy and light hearted at the party and having a good time connecting with a lot of different people, friends, etc, not just your ex. I think if you put too much pressure on you to to re-connect that night it might not go so well.

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olesun Newbie

olesun

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when is the party? Will you see her again after the party for another event? I think you should just focus on being happy and light hearted at the party and having a good time connecting with a lot of different people, friends, etc, not just your ex. I think if you put too much pressure on you to to re-connect that night it might not go so well.

 

This is great advice.

 

I worry a little that your expectations are a bit high for the event. I would set them around "We may have a conversation and a few laughs."

Try to look your best, feel your best and maybe more will come from it. But this is more about having fun with friends.

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rocknrolla Contributor

rocknrolla

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This is great advice.

 

I worry a little that your expectations are a bit high for the event. I would set them around "We may have a conversation and a few laughs."

Try to look your best, feel your best and maybe more will come from it. But this is more about having fun with friends.

 

Couldn't have said it any better! Thanks Olsen!

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Nattersmatter Newbie

Nattersmatter

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Cheers for the nudge!

 

Just keep picturing her on the loo with knickers round her ankles, picking her nose. I'm not talking out of my a*se, here, this is a genuine psychological method geared towards sales (persuasion), as is the one where you advise telesales execs to stand on their chair during a call to stop them feeling intimidated and to give them a feeling of equality or superiority (which is likewise why sales departments insist on suits being worn). There's always a risk, when you're yearning for them, of deifying them, of letting your imagination go OTT. Bring her back down to normal person level, so to speak.

 

The one and ONLY golden tip you need remember is this: It's not what you do (or don't do or balls up), it's the WAY that you do it. Which means, smile, smile, smile, laugh, laugh laugh, smile, smile, smile. We are at our most attractive - fact - when we're focussed on something we're enjoying doing (hence non-stop smiling or when pausing in between smiles/laughs, having that Mona Lisa smile), and 'looking outwards', unaware of ourselves and our internal thoughts. So if you can't make that, fake it - smile, smile, laugh, smile. It'll soon become real if you think because so positioning those many facial muscles releases feelgood chemicals in your brain, making it a self-reinforcing act.

 

To this end, it would be good if you were to watch a DVD of whomever for you is the most hilarious stand-up comedien/ne out, right before you set off for the party. (Who's your favourite?)

 

xoxo

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Nattersmatter Newbie

Nattersmatter

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I'm learning "home" by Michael Buble right now cause I always used to day outta no where "i wannago home". It wasn't ill we split I realized I started saying it again. That's when I knew what it ment all those gears, "home is where your heart is." My home is her.

 

Stop building her up or you're going to make me think thou dost insisteth too much due to NOT actually being able to keep hold of that loving feeling without your own, constant, conscious self-revving (relationship by proxy of yourself), which will leave the only possible main motivation as being purely EGO-BASED (wanting to win the battle called Who Rejected Who by getting her back in order to get to in however many weeks dump her back like a game of Tag ("No, YOU'RE The Rejected one, hah!").

 

Her.

On the loo.

"Gnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.....!!!"

 

You have many potential homes. She may be one of them but she won't be the only one. She might be the best - i.e. the best only if you pair up at THIS age and stage of your life - but that doesn't mean if you don't move back into her you'll be forever homeless. Because.. You imagine if she were your ONLY Yang in the world.. What if she had been born geographically inaccessible? What - you think that would mean you had been destined never to get to be with your one and only soulmate? What would be the point of there BEING your soulmate??? And what with this inconvenience having to be the case for many, many other humans present as well as past (including before transport), how could the human race have constantly increased in numbers instead of having dwindled to extinction or, at best, stayed static through only the lucky few? See? It's illogical, Captain.

 

If, with even the best will and intention in the world on both your parts, it still doesn't come together as you hope, then this simply means that a different (and better for you) soulmate is still on her way to crossing paths with you as you meanwhile imperceptibly are headed towards hers.... BUMP!, well, hell-oooooo!

 

Life has its own chain-reactions highways going on all around you irrespective of your conscious free will desires and goals and acts of reaching for them. Life can throw any manner of unpredictable surprises at you from left field (you must be able to remember some yourself, right?). For all YOU know, your other, MORE perfect Miss is going to be at that party, too, meaning the minute you and she clock each other you're going to feel VEEEERY silly and eggy-faced.

 

Keep an open mind. TRY to try your very best, yes. But if you find yourself incapable of being your best on the night - doing such a crap impression even as far as ruining the credibility of your reported genuine strides - it'll be purely because Fate didn't want you to succeed with this one thus miss out on the next.

 

Fate may not be something that lives outside of yourself. It may exist and operate in your psyche, in your subconscious, its influences getting made manifest via unexpected and seemingly counterproductive self-sabotage or uncontrollable failure, either solely via you or via her and her inability to feel re-affected or the pair of you simultaneously. You might take one look at each other and think nothing more than, 'Oh.' (peeeeeeeeeeee-ew).

 

"Que sera, ...sera..... Whatever will be... will be........ The future's not ours..to see... Que sera,.. sera". Life demands a philosophical attitude in with any convicted determination before it'll hand you any winning trophy; as you live and mature you learn that. And if you fail to have one, it'll force one down your throat. So relax... have trust in life, your invisible, superior teammate... listen to its hinted directives and act according to them...and it'll steer you right.

 

Rule of life: Everything turns out alright in the end. If something doesn't feel alright yet, that simply means it's not the end yet.

 

And THAT... is what I like to call a philosophical nagging job. ;-)

 

xoxo

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