Trying to not get too excited....

[Nattersmatter]

(posted in the wrong thread, LOL)

[rocknrolla]

Well looks like I won't have my phone back today or any $ in my pockets since the bank took all my $ I got to pay off my checking account......re

[Nattersmatter]

Well looks like I won't have my phone back today or any $ in my pockets since the bank took all my $ I got to pay off my checking account......re

 

Re.....????? (Oh, my god, they killed Kenny .......'B*****ds!!!) LOL

 

Nay worries. Fate obviously has a plan...

 

xoxo

[Elektra22]

I have that Rob Schneider voice reasonating in my head from the movie The Waterboy now going "You can do it!" when I see your thread Rock. I am sorry there has been a lull and you're having a difficult time, but I have had and still have all the faith in you that you really can get a good job and get the girl back just believe it yourself and keep working hard! Hugs and chin up!

[rocknrolla]

Re.....????? (Oh, my god, they killed Kenny .......'B*****ds!!!) LOL

 

Nay worries. Fate obviously has a plan...

 

xoxo

 

Wasn't suppose to be an "re" at the end of that lol.

[rocknrolla]

I have that Rob Schneider voice reasonating in my head from the movie The Waterboy now going "You can do it!" when I see your thread Rock. I am sorry there has been a lull and you're having a difficult time, but I have had and still have all the faith in you that you really can get a good job and get the girl back just believe it yourself and keep working hard! Hugs and chin up!

 

I try to keep telling myself she truly loved and and because of that as long as I work hard and she sees that she will come back.

[Nattersmatter]

Wasn't suppose to be an "re" at the end of that lol.

 

Yaaaaah, don't believe ya! *I* think you were about to burst into song......"Arr-eee-ess-pee-ee-cee-tee...faand oud whaddit means to me!..." Or was it, 'Re-LAX, ..don't doo it, ...wheeen you wanna somethin-sooomethin" (don't know the words - something about a sock and getting attitated because one's missing? Orrrrrrr, was it the Fugees: "Ready or not, here I come, you can't hide...Gonna f-ii-iind you ..aand take! ..it! ..slowwww-ly". ?

 

;-)

 

xoxo

[Nattersmatter]

I try to keep telling myself she truly loved and and because of that as long as I work hard and she sees that she will come back.

 

She had a real heart-to-heart with your mum. Think she'd mess your mum around and tell her BS? Naaaah. No way, Jose.

 

xoxo

[rocknrolla]

Bah, so much nothing to do tonight. 8 months and I'm still not comfortable spending so much time alone.

[Nattersmatter]

Don't you have any hobbies?

 

I'm all alone at the mo as well (hub is visiting family in France for the next 11 days). BUT I LLLLLLLLLLOVE IT! Why don't you? Are you a "dog"? Me, I'm definitely a cat. In fact, that was part of my reluctance to ever commit properly until 'now'.

 

So - hobbies and interests? There's no such thing as 'bored', just lack of imagination and self-motivation, so - no excuses - get your thinking cap on (but no porn, ya hear? LOL).

 

xoxo

[rocknrolla]

I like cats over dogs lol. I have hobbies etc... Just still not used to having so much time to myself, I'm usually good with doing things on my own but not so much these days.

[Nattersmatter]

Then you HAVE the technology (, gentlemen) (- name the sh*t 60s/70s US TV series!) but you put it down somewhere and can't remember where.

 

Where were you when you last had it?

 

(but I'm serious) xoxo

[rocknrolla]

Then you HAVE the technology (, gentlemen) (- name the sh*t 60s/70s US TV series!) but you put it down somewhere and can't remember where.

 

Where were you when you last had it?

No

(but I'm serious) xoxo

 

Most the stuff I do is summer oriented, I hate winter. I play guitar and a bit of video games but I can only do that so much til it gets boring. I used to watch movies, play pool or darts with the gf but now she's not here I don't have those things to do.

[Nattersmatter]

Yes, I know EXACTLY what you mean. I hate Winter, too! Here in YUK we've literally had 6 virtually non-stop months of outright Winter (cold with rain but always cloudy, save for 5% of the time, through to snow and icy winds).... so little sunshine between mid Sept and now that everyone's skin is drying and flaking (you can see it clearly on their facial skin now...lack of Vit D and/or constant central heating, I imagine). Davi and I are now seriously gagging to emigrate to somewhere sunnier... but we can't for another good 7 years or so, obviously, because of Joe.... unless Joe doesn't pass his chosen secondary-school's entrance exams, meaning, will no longer be 'tied' to his current schoolfriends, and Davs and I can move somewhere with easy enough access for his father's custody (France or N Spain), and perhaps come to some arrangement with regards to sharing or footing regular flight costs and letting Chris have almost all holiday time to compensate(?). Davs and I are busy preparing for that eventual day...refubishing the house and gardens for decent monthly rate rental purposes....and we're lately speeding up more and more. Is that desperation, showing itself, or us knowing summat is just around that there Fateful corner???

 

He and I are not meant to be in this countryyyy, whaaaah! We're Meds, through and through.

 

But, anyhoo... what about learning a new instrument or new skill entirely, like, DIY or cooking above the basic level? Is there a pool or darts team at your local pub/bar? I think you need a bessie mate, for sure, considering your fave activities aren't solitary, don't you?

 

xoxo

[rocknrolla]

im not really interested in joining leagues, i just enjoyed going out every now and then and playing. im just finding myself a little depressed, i would like things to move forward with us, i dont want to play games like guessing when would be best to contact her or stuff like that. I wish I could just be myself and contact her when i feel like it, ask her to do something here and there etc... but i know for now i gotta take it easy with that stuff until she feels comfortable with me again. It just really sucks and brings me down, so on days I have nothing to really do it just weighs heavier on me.

[Nattersmatter]

I'm sure you DO wish. But life isn't like that. It demands certain skills, including Patience and Endurance, fuelled by Determination and Self-Discipline (and venting out the resultant frustration ;-)).

 

However, by saying 'I'm not really interested', you're not helping yourself where concerns avoiding frustration of having to abide, in the first place. "Time flies when we're having fun". You're not having enough fun. Hence time is doing almost the opposite of flying. It's dragging. And it's dragging because a part of you allowed your expectations to rise that bit higher than is realistic which has left you de-motivated which is felt most keenly when you're low WHICH IS WHY you "have nothing to do". Nay, there is plenty TO do, but there is nothing you FEEL like doing. Diff/diff.

 

Boredom is the mother of imagination-application. So once you're GENUINELY bored rather than just blaming boredom, you'll find something wholly engaging to do. So you can wait for that to be the case or you can be self-disciplined and forcibly apply yourself to something until the faking-it becomes the making-it. But venting is a perpetual, very temporary itch scratcher, not a cure for the itch itself. Prevention is better than cure but cure is better than constant tending to your symptom.

 

So, then, if not leagues, you tell ME what you can do to remedy this situation? You'd best make it SOMETHING socially orientated, though, because evidence in motion proves that's more genuinely what you're looking for...After all, you seem perfectly a*sed to be active on this socially-interactive place. Right? (Right.)

 

Thinking cap ooon...one, two, three, GO!....

 

xoxo

[rocknrolla]

Well, another Monday which means I'll be at the hospital all day for group counselling....better then sitting at home alone all day. God I just want my life to be back to normal, working, being with my girl, going camping, hitting the beach, bah... One day at a time I guess...

[Nattersmatter]

Yup, baby steps.

 

Do you have some neighbour's dog you can take for walkies to get you out and about and to break up the day? Having a dog is like having a baby in a pram - a huge Talk To Me sign on legs. And of course the exercise produces feel-good chems, not to mention makes taking it easy once you get home again (assuming you do a good 2hr walk somewhere truly picturesque) feel more like a treat than it otherwise would a sentance.

 

xoxo

[rocknrolla]

I'm not a big fan of taking care of dogs, my ex had 2 I only like them cause they were hers. Lol

[rocknrolla]

Went for a beer with my buddy who still talks with my ex. We talked about how I might want to approach doing something with her. We thought maybe vetting a few people together for pool and he could tell her we're getting together to play some pool and see if she wants to join. That way I'm not pushing her to do something, we get to hang out and with friends there its a bit of a buffer so we don't find ourselves in awkward silence.

 

Thoughts?

[rocknrolla]

Anyone.....?

[rocknrolla]

Wow thanks people.... Time to pound back some vodka.

[getupkid]

Yo I'll apologize in advance but I haven't read every detail here. It's 20 pages long after all but I'd say that's a good idea ONLY if you can prep yourself for potential disappointment. What I mean by this, and I am no relationship expert, is just in case she may be standoffish or just treat you as a friend to be prepared. I wouldn't go in with high hopes thinking she'll be all over you, or it'll be a start to her falling all over you. But, I'm not saying it won't end up that way either.

 

I'm in the same boat and would like my ex to just call and say "ok, let's date again" but that won't happen. So baby steps, slow and steady wins the race. So again, go with the mutual friend get-together. If she agrees, no matter what she does, even if for some reason she's nasty to you, be your best. Be a gentleman and natural, not over powering. Basically act as if this was back to day one, where you first met her and treat her as if you were starting over, not fixing something broken. She'll feel good about this and see you aren't pathetic or that you're sitting around waiting for her. Good luck to you, I'll check back on your thread and hopefully I'll see some progress on your end.

[rocknrolla]

I have a reasonable idea of how she would be, I saw her 2 weeks ago at a party. I wouldn't expect any flirting or anything of that nature, she's very cautious with me right now. I just want to be able to interact with her again to keep the ball rolling with her seeing progress in myself and hopefully get one step closer to the ultimate goal of being together again.

[getupkid]

I have a reasonable idea of how she would be, I saw her 2 weeks ago at a party. I wouldn't expect any flirting or anything of that nature, she's very cautious with me right now. I just want to be able to interact with her again to keep the ball rolling with her seeing progress in myself and hopefully get one step closer to the ultimate goal of being together again.

 

Yeah again i apologize for not having the chance to read everything, I kind of went from page to page and skimmed around. But you seem to have a good, realistic head on your shoulders so you should be happy about that if little else. You're idea of moving forward is a perfect balance to your situation, she won't be rushed but she won't think you're on the prowl for other ladies. Just stay confident as you seem to be and let everything unfold on it's own, you already know that.