Trying to not get too excited....

[Nattersmatter]

Not 'tell' your mum - ASK your mum... what she thinks you should do or what she thinks about your feasibility study. Do you?

 

xoxo

[Nattersmatter]

i just mean that she's got a wall up and shes cautious, i cant push her so letting her know my phone is back on and that she can call or txt me when she feels is a way of opening up communication with her and leaving it to her to txt or call me without any pressure. Therefore her coming to me, the whole push pull theory.

 

I know she's cautious and guarded. And I know you don't want to pressure her because she wants to see the ENTIRE second-chance audition performance before she takes you to boot camp and the judges house, so to speak. My uppermost point was you can't just text her yourself but give the impression you expect her to go one better (and more scary) in doing the actual CALL. But as you're now saying text OR call, that's a bit better than you initially made it sound. But not better ENOUGH because it still leaves the onus of any calling to be done, on her, which is still tantamount to you saying, 'I'll put one foot forward and you put BOTH feet forward' / I'll be brave to the power of 5, you be brave to the power of 10.

 

Nuh-uh-UH. She not Tarzan, she Jane. And why on EARTH would you expect her to demonstrate greater bravery than you when you've already been clued up to how nervy she actually is beneath her act (which is far more nervous than you)? I realise this is you subconsciously badly wanting to see HER step up, now, but I've already explained why it's not her job, so ....nice try at sneaking under both yours and my radars but - not nice enough. ;-p You do that and you're just going to self-sabotage in a long, drawn-out fashion because what'll happen is, not being that brave nor it being a case of her wanting to see HERSELF give an improved performance, she's unlikely to make that call, meaning - you'll take the lack of any call as some sign of discouragement which will have you behaving according to that disappointment and lowering of confidence, which will get communicated to her as will have HER feeling less confident and behaving accordingly, which will have YOU losing even MORE confidence...in a box, in a box, in a negative box... SPLAT!

 

Why not box that bit cleverer than your ego, and say, 'Feel free to text me if you ever feel up to my giving you a call for a nice chat'?

 

xoxo

[Nattersmatter]

Anyway, you shouldn't feel disheartened by the fact she's getting to do the Simon Cowell on you, the auditionee, like everything that went wrong was your fault because.... It is FAR more calming and reassuring to find yourself the Doer than the Done To. There is nothing worse than wanting to act but having your hands gender-tied and being at someone else's mercy. You, on the other hand, have total control (despite you have to eke it out).

 

Plus at your height, you'd look CRAP in a dress. ;-)

 

xoxo

[rocknrolla]

Not 'tell' your mum - ASK your mum... what she thinks you should do or what she thinks about your feasibility study. Do you?

 

xoxo

 

yes i do ask her what she thinks.

[rocknrolla]

I'm really unsure of what to do next.

 

Natters you brought up a good point by only texting her that my phone is back online and she's free to txt or call me if she want to talk or hang out will only drive me nuts waiting to hear from her.

 

I could let her know my phones back online and ask her if she would like to do something, but I dont want to come accross as pushy.

 

Or I could let her know my phones back online, and start off with a little conversation by asking her how her days going etc....

[gigginstick]

What about just texting her, and saying hey good to see ya the other night, hope you had a good night. That will show her your phone is back on without telling her, it shows that ur interested in talking but not being pushy, and it leaves her with the freedom to respond if she chooses. No questions asked. What you think about that?

[gigginstick]

I wouldnt jump to asking her to do something right away tho.

[rocknrolla]

What about just texting her, and saying hey good to see ya the other night, hope you had a good night. That will show her your phone is back on without telling her, it shows that ur interested in talking but not being pushy, and it leaves her with the freedom to respond if she chooses. No questions asked. What you think about that?

 

that may be a good idea, i have spme time to think bout it so.

[zep]

What about just texting her, and saying hey good to see ya the other night, hope you had a good night. That will show her your phone is back on without telling her, it shows that ur interested in talking but not being pushy, and it leaves her with the freedom to respond if she chooses. No questions asked. What you think about that?

 

I think this is the best thing to do. i odnt think its a good idea to focus on the fact that your phone was cut off! She doesnt need to know that you texted her as soon as it was back online.

[rocknrolla]

I have to admit, I'm not the most patient person in general and being away from her for now 8 months is killing me as it is let a lone now i have to take things with her really slow, it's going to be a real test for me to remain patient.

[rocknrolla]

What an excellent way to begin again Rock. Not saying this in a patronizing way at all, but I am so very proud of you. You really took charge and are doing so wonderfully. Keep on the path you're travelling and I am sure you will end up victorious. Cannot wait to hear more of your journey!

 

Thanks Elektra! I hope you are right, It felt good to see her, her smile and to hear her voice and laughter again, i miss her so much. I have never loved anyone like I love her and she knows that.

[Nattersmatter]

I'm really unsure of what to do next.

 

Natters you brought up a good point by only texting her that my phone is back online and she's free to txt or call me if she want to talk or hang out will only drive me nuts waiting to hear from her.

 

I could let her know my phones back online and ask her if she would like to do something, but I dont want to come accross as pushy.

 

Or I could let her know my phones back online, and start off with a little conversation by asking her how her days going etc....

 

a) "My phone is back on (finally!). Send me a text if and when you like the idea of a catch-up chat some time soon-ish and I'll celebrate my line being operational again by making you my very first port of call. Unfortunately, I can't offer you a prize for being Call Recipient Number 1 of £1000 or anything that major, LOL, but I could always play you a new tune I've just learned on my guitar?"

 

b) Start the chat tentatively as you suggest, and then - first appropriate opportunity you get - say, 'This is silly when I could just call you and save your thumbs, isn't it. Shall I?'

 

xoxo

[Nattersmatter]

PS: Did you get to tell her you'd got 80% in your exam? Cos if not, that would be a good excuse and opener to text with, wouldn't it.

 

xoxo

[Nattersmatter]

What about just texting her, and saying hey good to see ya the other night, hope you had a good night. That will show her your phone is back on without telling her, it shows that ur interested in talking but not being pushy, and it leaves her with the freedom to respond if she chooses. No questions asked. What you think about that?

 

Or that, yes.

 

xoxo

[Nattersmatter]

I have to admit, I'm not the most patient person in general and being away from her for now 8 months is killing me as it is let a lone now i have to take things with her really slow, it's going to be a real test for me to remain patient.

 

Yep. It will. And if you manage it, you'll feel DEAD proud of yourself. FOREVER.

 

xoxo

 

PS: I think it WOULD be a good idea if she knew you'd texted her the minute your phone was back on, actually. Do you want her to think that part of your improvements package includes you now being in a state of 'I can take her or leave her' like she's nothing special? Error - Does Not Compute with the agenda and purpose of Courtship.

[Nattersmatter]

Thanks Elektra! I hope you are right, It felt good to see her, her smile and to hear her voice and laughter again, i miss her so much. I have never loved anyone like I love her and she knows that.

 

Oh.

 

 

 

Wha' bout *me*???

 

(B*stard... mother was right, I should have listened to her...and btw - I faked it.

 

xoxo (I know - I'm terrible, Muriel)

[rocknrolla]

Oh.

 

 

 

Wha' bout *me*???

 

(B*stard... mother was right, I should have listened to her...and btw - I faked it.

 

xoxo (I know - I'm terrible, Muriel)

 

 

Lol, thank u too Natters, u advice is much appreciated!

[rocknrolla]

PS: Did you get to tell her you'd got 80% in your exam? Cos if not, that would be a good excuse and opener to text with, wouldn't it.

 

xoxo

 

I told her I got my security license yes.

[rocknrolla]

hey Natters just re-read this post you wrote, it re-iterated some positive points for me that i needed to hear. thanks. Cept i think you mean "Check" rather then "strike"? I dunno cause over here a "strike" is usually a bad thing lol. as in baseball 3 strikes and your out, if im wrong in how i interpreted your meaning let me know lol.

[Nattersmatter]

Lol, thank u too Natters, u advice is much appreciated!

 

Thanks? No, ya 'nana - it was THIS bit I was joking about:

 

"I have never loved anyone like I love her and she knows that."

 

(Ketchup, Baby Tomato?!

 

xoxo

[Nattersmatter]

hey Natters just re-read this post you wrote, it re-iterated some positive points for me that i needed to hear. thanks. Cept i think you mean "Check" rather then "strike"? I dunno cause over here a "strike" is usually a bad thing lol. as in baseball 3 strikes and your out, if im wrong in how i interpreted your meaning let me know lol.

 

I thought "Strike!" is what you blokes say when you knock down all ten bowling pins. Non?

 

xoxo

[Shane Falco]

I thought "Strike!" is what you blokes say when you knock down all ten bowling pins. Non?

 

xoxo

 

Baseball is much more popular than bowling in North America. In baseball, a strike is when you swing and miss at a ball that's being throw toward you. Three strikes and you are out. So in North America, strike is bad.

 

Where are you from? Reading your posts sometimes involve a secret decoder ring. Not that that's bad or anything.

[rocknrolla]

I'm finding this morning kinda hard and stressful, I don't know why other then knowing that getting her back is going to take some time. It's been so long already, I just want to be with her now. But on the bright side I should have my phone back tomorrow and a little money in my pocket.

[Nattersmatter]

Baseball is much more popular than bowling in North America. In baseball, a strike is when you swing and miss at a ball that's being throw toward you. Three strikes and you are out. So in North America, strike is bad.

 

Where are you from? Reading your posts sometimes involve a secret decoder ring. Not that that's bad or anything.

 

LOL - typical (rubber = eraser, (cigarette) fag = homosexual), here a Strike is all the ten pins down in one.

 

I'm from (Y)UK, dwahling, okay, ya.

 

xoxo

[Nattersmatter]

I'm finding this morning kinda hard and stressful, I don't know why other then knowing that getting her back is going to take some time. It's been so long already, I just want to be with her now. But on the bright side I should have my phone back tomorrow and a little money in my pocket.

 

Yeah, it's called Yearning.

 

If you're going to get through it, there's only ONE way to "cheat" at having patience, and that's to fill your time up with as many tasks and fun/interesting things as you possibly can. Or spend all of your free time sleeping, LOL.

 

xoxo