Trying to not get too excited....

[rocknrolla]

I'd like to not talk bout the pregnancy anymore. I find it upsetting and there's nothing that can be done about it now so there isnt any use I bringing it up anymore. Appretiate everyone thank you.

 

Lavanderlove- you bring up a lot of good advice. I know as time passes, more and more my dreams will become just that again mine, and she will be less involved in them till one day she won't be in them at all.

Im noticing though I'm twisting those dreams of a life with her into dreams of possibly being with this other girl I used to date and have had interest in dating again. I know I shouldn't and just be me on my own for a bit and chase those dreams for myself for the time being. So I try to eliminate that as well.

 

It's strange how the brain works. But one day at a time and slowly I hope to achieve the life I want for my near future.

[lavenderdove]

I know you will get there if you just keep trying!

 

One of the best analogies anyone one ever gave me about letting go was about what one must to do cross a divide. Let's say you are at the top of a cliff and need to cross a ravine to get to the other side where there is food and happiness and warmth waiting for you, but it is really terrifying to let go and make that leap over the ravine.

 

You're hanging onto the branch of tree because you are scared to let go and jump, but you really want to get to the other side. But to cross that ravine, you must eventually let go of that tree and take that leap of faith to get to the other side. It's scary to think of that leap, but it is the only way to get accross. Sometimes it is easy to get paralyzed and just cling to that tree rather than jump, but eventually you will let go, maybe all at once or maybe one finger at a time, but you WILL get that courage and momentum eventually and leap to the other side and be safe and happy there in your future rather than clinging to the past and the wrong side of the ravine. And once you make that jump, you can leave the fear behind.

 

So if the best you can do for now is let go one finger at a time, that is perfectly fine! And the leap to actually let go of an ex who once gave you a sense of security and safety is scary, which is why it is so hard to let go. But you can and will do it when you recognize that clinging to an ex is like clinging to a tree and it isn't getting you anywhere, just trapping you there in fear of letting go! But jump you must and one day you will feel up for it and will let go and make the jump to a new life, and after that, you will be fine!

[rocknrolla]

Well set up my 1st appointment with a non profit counselling device for tonight, talked to my old manager bout possible work should know by week's end, and I'm currently in the waiting room to see my psychiatrist.

[Supersarahp]

I agree although I think before you make the leap you have to ensure your clothes are not snagged on any of the branches of that tree. You have to make sure that when you let go of the tree you are letting go completely. If you don't when you try to leap accross the ravine with your clothes snagged on the tree you won't get very far and may even fall. So by doing the necessary preparation to disentangle correctly from the tree you cling to you can the make sure the leap is successful.

[rocknrolla]

Hey everyone, I've started a new thread in the "Healing after Breakup" as I figured that since the ex and I aren't getting back together it would be more appropriate.

 

Heres the link to that thread.

 

 

[blacklantana]

Hey everyone, I've started a new thread in the "Healing after Breakup" as I figured that since the ex and I aren't getting back together it would be more appropriate.

 

Heres the link to that thread.

 

]

 

Subscribed... will follow. Thanks Rock!

[rocknrolla]

no probs Black!

[Jenn3129]

Ok...I need an update to get up to date please??? I can't possibly read all these threads, I have already been reading for an hour and am still so confused. From what I understand, you went no contact and was waiting for a party, the party happened but I can't find out what happened at the party?? What I've come to the conclusion is, you both went and hooked up and she got pregnant?? Is that what happened? Then she didnt tell.you she got pregnant and had an abortion but then told you after the fact?? What mental illness were you in aday program for?? And then there is a wedding coming up that you're the best man in and they won't uninvite her and she refuses not to go? Do I have all this right?? Can you pls bring me up to speed? I think I may have some pretty good advice and insight on some of your issues when I fully understand what's happened if you care to hear? Hope you are well. Xoxo

[rocknrolla]

Here's a link to a thread I started bout that happened. Not everything is in there just everything bout the breakup and some stuff for a bit afterwards.